The Glade 4.0

I found out yesterday that my father has stage four melanoma, and that he doesn't have long to live. He will never get to meet his grand-kids. He will never be able to give away my sisters when they get married. He will never get to enjoy his retirement with my mother, and grow old with her.

My father is a practical man, and planned. There is more than enough savings, investments, and life insurance to provide for my mother and 17 year old sister; but they still need him around as a husband and father, and while I can step in and manage the finances, I can't replace him in that way.

It's going to be very strange and very empty around my parents house.

My only regret is that while growing up and becoming a man with a family of my own, I haven't been able to spend as much time with my dad as I now realize that I should have, and it makes me sad. Time is so fleeting, and the things you think are so important really aren't when you wind up having to compare them with the things you take for granted along the way.

I'm headed over to my parents house to spend this last Father's Day with my dad. And I'm going to tell him how much I love him, and how much having him in my life, and being there as my dad meant to me, and how big of a role he had in me becoming the man I am today.

I recommend you all doing the same. Don't waste any time. You never know what tomorrow will bring, and you have no idea how blessed you are.

_________________

Ezekiel 23:19-20 

I'm sorry to hear that, Rynar. My father and grandfathers are already gone; only my wife's father is left and my children are with him today.

My dad just couldn't stop his drinking, so when he went it was sort of like you describe - but also a relief that he wasn't slowly sliding deeper and deeper into a hole he could never get out of anymore.

Now I feel the other way; I'm on the opposite side of your situation (although thankfully I'm in good health) - I want to be here long enough to do all those things you mentioned for my daughters.

Really sorry to hear it. I hope your day is a fine one.

_________________
"Hysterical children shrieking about right-wing anything need to go sit in the corner and be quiet while the adults are talking."

/hugs Rynar

So sorry to hear about your dad.

_________________
"Said I never had much use for one, never said I didn't know how to use one!"~ Matthew Quigley

"nothing like a little meow in bed at night" ~ Bruskey

"I gotta float my stick same as you" Hondo Lane

"Fill your hand you son of a *****!"

My daddy passed away when I was 21. But I understand your sentiment, and I'm so sorry to hear you will be losing your father so soon. :'(
God bless you and your family, Rynar, enjoy every second you have left with your father. Keeping you all in my thoughts and prayers.

_________________
"Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." Jesus of Nazareth

/brotherly hugs to Rynar

Sorry to hear about your situation Rynar. My prayers are with you and your family.

_________________
Darksiege
Traveller, Calé, Whisperer
Lead me not into temptation; for I know a shortcut

/hugs

Lost mine a couple years ago. I still miss him.

_________________
The U. S. Constitution doesn't guarantee happiness, only the pursuit of it. You have to catch up with it yourself. B. Franklin

"A mind needs books like a sword needs a whetstone." -- Tyrion Lannister, A Game of Thrones

/hugs

I'm sorry for your loss Rynar

I'm sorry to hear this Rynar, I am sure this must be very difficult. I wish you and your family the best in this tough time.

I'm a little ashamed to say it took the birth of my son for me to truly appreciate my father.

_________________
“Strong people are harder to kill than weak people, and more useful in general”. - Mark Rippetoe

Sorry Rynar. I can't imagine.

It sounds like your father worked very hard to care for his family. He's probably extremely worried about leaving them. I know I would be. Comfort him, let him know his hard work and planning will continue to care for them, and let him know how proud and respectful of his work you are. It will mean a lot to him.

I'm sorry to hear that Rynar. Good advice though on the conversation with dad.

I'm sorry, Rynar.

I've told my Dad I love him alot the last few days. He just got out of the hospital yesterday.

It's been nice to have him around to talk to, remembering things. He always was there for me, taking me to dance classes, and baseball games. I won't take him for granted anymore.

_________________


Dream as if you'll live forever...
...Live as if you'll die tomorrow

Vivere Senza Rimpianti

I too am sorry to hear about this Rynar. I am sure he is happy that you are able to still spend some time with him.

And you do make some very good suggestions. Ever since I hit 18, I immediately moved out of my family's house. Not because of most reasons that cause kids to move out, like college. No, I moved out because I wanted out. My dad and I were never very close growing up. I see him maybe three times a year, and he only lives 20 minutes away from me, which is a lot closer than my mother.

He was a military man and I was raised in such a fashion. There was a lot of yelling, swearing, and insulting towards us kids but especially myself since I am the oldest of four boys. There is a lot of bottled up rage towards that man still in me. That man doesn't exist anymore. He's a lot different in his older, non stressed years and he's even apologized to me for all the crap he gave me. But the primitive brain in me hasn't let go, even though the logical brain in me has. A very deep part of me wishes that person he used to be would surface, just so I can really lay into him as an adult.

I've been working hard to just let it go. And seeing him getting older and more frail just reminds me that it's even more important that I do so. You're absolutely right, I should spend far more time with the man than I have been. Who he is now and spending time with him now is all that matters. Once he's gone, he's gone.

I appreciate the reminder. And I hope that you will be able to appreciate the time you have left as well. I am sure it means a lot to him that he is able to spend time with you. You yourself are also blessed that you get to tell your dad all those things you said you were going to tell him. There are many guys like myself who find out too late that their opportunity has passed. My dad was one of those people.

_________________
Les Zombis et les Loups-Garous!