The Glade 4.0

A list of phrases uttered at work amongst co-workers for the big deuce. Compiled and alphabetized by a co-worker. Some of these have some work-jargon and won't make sense.

Add some beef to the stew
Analyzing a log dump
Answering the call of the wild
Auditing your ASSets
Baking a hot icicle
Baking some brownies
Baptising (insert ethnic derogatory here) eggs/larvae
Barbarians at the gate
Beam down the away team
Becoming one with the animal kingdom
Big brown man knocking on the back door
Birthing the Bilbo
Bombing Hiroshima
Bombing the Oval Office
Building a log cabin
Burn a mule
Burying an elf
Catching up on some reading
Captain's Log
Chalking the bowl
Chopping a log
Christening a boat
Cleaning the tuba
Clean out the hurt locker
Coiling a steamer
Committing yourself to the dumpatorium
Conducting a movement
Consulting your ASStrological chart
Contaminating the dog dish
Cooking a brown carrot
Coronating Gluteus Maximus III
Crimping off a length
Crunching one
Curling some pipe
Cutting some rope
Daily indicator dump
Dancing with Duece Bigalog
Deuce Noodle
Dirty birth
"Dirty deeds, done dirt cheap"
Disemfibering
Do the doo
Doing your paperwork
Dookin it out
Downloading some brownware
Drilling for mud bunnies
Dropping a brown trout
Dropping a chocolate cobra
Dropping a Stink Pickle
Dropping a stool
Dropping anchor
Dropping the chalupa
Dropping the cosby kids off at the pool
Dropping the kids off at the pool/lake
Dropping your ordinance
Drowning the kittens
Dumping a stump
Dumping an organic depth charge
Enjoying a meatball sandwich
Evict the Hobbit
Exploring the watery cave
Exporting a cigar to Cuba
Feeding the fish
Feeding the pets
Feeding the refugees
Fighting the rat
Filling the peanut butter jar
Firing the cannon
Flagging down the anus vendor
Floating one for the Gipper
Foraging for dungleberries
Forcing the duck to quack
Full moon over troubled waters
Getting down and dirty
Giving the hemmies some breathing room
Goin' fecen
Greeting Mr. Hankey
Growing a tail
Hanging a grogan
Hatching a new boss
Helping the groundhog find his shadow
Hitting a double
Honking out a dirt snake
Inspecting the facilities
Introducing the toilet to the bald man with the cigar
Jettisoning the alien
Kenny Loggins
Launch the Armada
Launching a butt shuttle
Launching a corn canoe
Launching a scud
Launching a torpedo
Launching an *** rocket
Launching the fudge sub
"Lay seige to the kingdom, from the throne"
Let my people go
Letting off a corn rocket
Letting the dog out
Log out
Logging out
Losing some weight the quick way
Make a deposit to Mother Earth
Making a core dump
Making a delivery
Making a deposit at the porcelain bank
Making a grunt sculpture
Making a log entry
Making a Minnesota hand warmer
Making room for lunch
Making some butt coffee
Making some fertilizer
Making some trouser chili
Manufacturing a three-coil steamer
Measuring the depths of the water below
Microwaving a dachsund
Mooning the Tidy Bowl Man
Negotiating the release of the chocolate hostages
Offloading some freight
Painting the bowl
Parking your breakfast
Passing a load of coal down the chute
Paving the Hershey highway
Paying the plumber
Peeling the wallpaper
Pinching a crusty roll
Planting a steaming bouquet of brown roses
Planting some corn
Playing craps
Playing with Winnie the Poo
Polluting the pond
Popping some corn
Praying to Buddha
Punching a grumpy
Punishing the porcelain
Putting fruit in the bowl
Quaking the porcelain
Releasing the demons
Releasing the hounds
Removing a butt tampon
Reversing a Ho-Ho
Riding the ceramic carthorse
Riding the hoop
Ringing the church bells (Dung! Dung!)
Ripping a duece
Rolling a nut log
Scaring up a tater
Seeing the Brown eel
Seeking revenge for the Brown Bomber
Sending a message to the White House
Sending Fidel a love letter
Shoot one through the hoop
Shooting a mudshark
Singing with Michael Bolton
Sinking the Bismark
Snapping a log
Spray and wipe
Squat and clench
Squeezing a coily
Squeezing off a few rounds
Squeezing one out
Squeezing the butt mustard
Staining the porcelain
Steaming a coilie
Steaming a steamie
Stocking the pond with brown trout
Studying at the library
Tainting the cloth
Taking a conference call with the junior senator from Brownsylvania.
Taking a steamer
Taking the Browns to the Super Bowl
Taking the kids to the waterslide
Testing the plumbing
Throwing a couple more flush puppies in the deep fryer.
Time Log
Torqueing a moon-fish
Training a (insert ethnic derogatory here) to jump through the hoop
Unleashing the holy leviathan
Updating the Captain's log
Vacating the premises
Watching a dolphin splash
Wrestling a brown corn-belly snake
Yanking the worm out of the hole
Yodeling in the canyon

_________________
The Dude abides.

You may have an unhealthy scatalogical fixation.

_________________
Well Ali Baba had them forty thieves, Scheherezade had a thousand tales
But master you in luck 'cause up your sleeves you got a brand of magic never fails...
...Mister Aladdin, sir, What will your pleasure be?
Let me take your order, Jot it down -You ain't never had a friend like me
█ ♣ █

Is there such a thing as a healthy scatological fixation?

brown corn belly snake?

_________________

I think it's safe to say, you and your coworkers think about poop more than me and mine.

This list represents a couple year's worth of work.

_________________
The Dude abides.

Fixed.

Probably not.

_________________
Well Ali Baba had them forty thieves, Scheherezade had a thousand tales
But master you in luck 'cause up your sleeves you got a brand of magic never fails...
...Mister Aladdin, sir, What will your pleasure be?
Let me take your order, Jot it down -You ain't never had a friend like me
█ ♣ █

True. If you think of deucing as work, you can't really enjoy it, can you?

_________________
The Dude abides.

It's normal for some professions, however. Any workplace that is predominantly male, involves some element of job-related hazard and frequent periods of downtime will inevitably generate great volumes of poop talk. I saw it when I was in the military and among the guys at a firestation I delivered to when I was a kid with a paper route. I expect this can also be seen among policemen, EMTs and security officers.

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Go back to zero, take a pill, and get well ~ Lemmy Kilmister

I can honestly say I've never had a conversation about such things with any co-worker... ever... :-/

This.

I also.

4th-ed

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"Dress cops up as soldiers, give them military equipment, train them in military tactics, tell them they’re fighting a ‘war,’ and the consequences are predictable." —Radley Balko

5thed.

_________________

Holy shitsnacks!

This thread reminds me of The **** List.

_________________
Go back to zero, take a pill, and get well ~ Lemmy Kilmister

Everyone does it. Most people try to ignore it. Good people joke about it. Great list!