The Glade 4.0

A few years ago, when Senator Thurmond retired, a bunch of the senators on Capitol Hill decided to throw him a going away party. So, plans were made to have a fancy party with great entertainment and to top it all off, a 7 course banquet with each dish from a different region in the United States. In a rare display of bipartisanship, Senators Frist and Reid were in charge of the festivities, and they were both well aware of Senator Thurmond's likes, and dislikes. Furthermore, they were both well aware of Sen. Thurmond's violent shellfish allergy. He was in fact, so allergic, that he flew into a violent rage whenever someone mistakenly served him shellfish, claiming that they were out to assassinate him (after all, the man was almost a hundred years old...)
Unfortunately, being a very busy man, Senator reid left the task of planning the menu to the Deputy Undersecretary to the Vice Assistant for Lunch Affairs' intern. This harried individual was trying to juggle 43 different tasks and now had the honor of planning a 7 course meal for this going away party.

So, the night of the party rolls around, and for several hours, the Senators and their guests are treated to Senator Thurmond's favorite things. A light jazz quartet played while speeches and roasts exalting senator Thurmond were given. Distinguished visitor after distinguished visitor rose and spoke about the Senator's illustrious career. After several hours of speeches, it was finally time for dinner.

The first course came out, prepared by a renowned pastry chef from New Orleans. Crepes, light as a feather, topped with freshly picked strawberries and drizzled with a light chocolate glaze. The guests received this warmly, and were very pleased with the dish. The jazz quartet played a selection from Miles Davis while they ate, and soon, it was time for the second course. Cooked by a skilled barbecue chef, hailing from Texas, this course was a selection of meats from the wilds of America. Tender roasted venison, sliced thin with a light gravy. Baked wild pheasant with mashed potatoes. Smoked Bison filet, tender and juicy. Even a selection of rarer meats, cooked specially for this event by congressional order. Grilled Puma, deep fried spotted owl, and braised polar bear. Everyone was delighted at the succulent selection of meats, and reveled in the debauchery offered by this daring chef.

After some more light jazz, the third course came out. This was a selection of cheeses from Wisconsin. Handcrafted Colby, Brie, tangy cheddar, buffalo mozzarella, fresh cheese curds, and smooth finishing Monterey Jack. This dish went quite well with the meats from the previous course as many were still working to finish off those delicacies. After still more light jazz, it was time for the soup course. A chef from New England had been hand picked by the intern as an honor to Senator Kennedy to represent the Northeastern US. As soon as the carts were wheeled by Sens. Reid and Frist, they knew there was trouble. As the waiters handed out the entree, Reid and Frist were stunned to see a bowl of creamy white chowder, big chunks of clam and a whole clamshell poking up out of the chowder. They could only wach in horror as the waiters made their way up to the head table, where the guest of honor was sitting. A hush began to fall over the room as each senior senator realized the colossal faux-pas that was about to be made. The tension mounted as a bowl was set in front of Senator Thurmond...

A junior senator asked Senator Reid what all the fuss was about, just what was going on. Senator Reid replied... "That, my friend," as he pointed at the bowl of chowder...

"That, is the clam before the Strom."

Senator Thurmond didn't have the chowder, its a good thing too or else...

He would have needed Frist aid...

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Holy shitsnacks!