The Glade 4.0

Okay, so we need to come up with a list of Achievements for various professional and not-so-professional actions at work. Promotions/pay-raises should be seen as gaining a level, not an achievement point.

Proceed.

Black Hole - Had 10 cups of coffee at work.
Confirmed Kill - Let one go and it was acknowledged by a co-worker.
Nuked From Orbit - Crop-dusted a co-worker you don't like.

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The Dude abides.

The Switcheroo - Blasted *** and made a nearby co-worker take the blame.

Manager Material - Fell asleep during a meeting and nobody noticed.

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Ron Paul 2012

Dedicated Slacker: Successfully bypassed IT lockdowns on Internet usage.
Straight Shooter: Informed customer/colleague/boss why something isn't working/done using only the truth.

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That Oughta Fix Em! - Convince a customer that their problem really is on their end within the first 30 seconds of a call.
Fair Game! - Eat the last doughnut in the breakroom.
Waterboy - After emptying the water cooler, replace the bottle without being asked to.

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Holy shitsnacks!

The Kashi Stands Alone - Kashi bomb everyone in your cube area out.

sPETAcular - Eat a meal where all the dishes consist of animal flesh at the table of the outspoken Vegan.

So what did you get done today? - Post 100 messages on the Glade while at the office.

Solitude of Golden Throne - Complete at least 5 games of Solitaire while on the can.

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"It's real, grew up in trife life, the times of white lines
The hype vice, murderous nighttimes and knife fights invite crimes" - Nasir Jones

That Guy - Finish off the coffee pot, without refilling, ten consecutive times.

Cloudkill - Drop a rank deuce in a common bathroom, and get out before anybody knows it was you.

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“The duty of a patriot is to protect his country from its government.” - Thomas Paine

No, really, what did you do all day? - Post 500 messages to the Glade while at work.

C'mon man, will you do some freaking work already? - Post 1000 messages to the Glade while at work.

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Holy shitsnacks!

I think this board software needs badges. I mean, it's the honor system, but it'd be funny to put this stuff as badges.

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“The duty of a patriot is to protect his country from its government.” - Thomas Paine

haha

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Ron Paul 2012

This thread is full of win!

Silent Scream - IM a coworker about an idiotic caller while still on the call.

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This must be Thursday. I could never get the hang of Thursdays.

Fraternization - Sex with a coworker.

Naked Teleworking - spend a day at home, 'teleworking', never getting dressed and playing computer games at least as often as actually working.

She did WHAT? - Refuse to start a rumor about a coworker, just no, I'm sure it will hit the grapevine, but I'm not going to gossip material. Then see what gets told about whom.

Documentation Drill - Earn more by being on the clock documenting your expense claim than you are asking for in reimbursement.

Living in Wally's Shoes - Claim success on a project you never started, and complete efficiency because it cost the company nothing (except your salary). Bonus achievement for having the boss sign off on it as completed.

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The U. S. Constitution doesn't guarantee happiness, only the pursuit of it. You have to catch up with it yourself. B. Franklin

"A mind needs books like a sword needs a whetstone." -- Tyrion Lannister, A Game of Thrones

Gettin paid to play - Sex with a coworker while on the clock.

On the Road Again - Sex with a coworker in a company vehicle.

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Holy shitsnacks!

Infamy: Get caught on security camera performing a disgusting/disturbing act.

Santa Claus: Bring back schwag for your coworkers from a conference.

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Timewaster - Code and play a game using VBA, while on the clock.


Acknowledged Timewaster - and have your supervisor ask for copies of your games.

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Go back to zero, take a pill, and get well ~ Lemmy Kilmister

Big Brother is watching - Have a site that was unblocked yesterday get re-categorized and blocked by the firewall.

Super Mariowned - Have the call monitoring software record you playing a game.

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This must be Thursday. I could never get the hang of Thursdays.

Machine - Work 60 hours in a week
Olympiad - Work 72 hours in a week
You just broke labor laws - Work 84 hours in a week

The Fourty Year Old Bachelor - Go out for lunch all week, attend at least 3 happy hours and get rejected trying to make an advance on a co-worker.

I put in my two week notice - Watch an entire season of any TV show at work.

Milton's Revenge - Get the first slice of cake for an entire year.

Fade to Black - Eat all of the secretaries candy before anyone else can.

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"It's real, grew up in trife life, the times of white lines
The hype vice, murderous nighttimes and knife fights invite crimes" - Nasir Jones

Rip Van Winkle - Successfully fall asleep at your desk without anyone noticing.

Hmm, its a bit nutty - Rub a coworkers phone handset on your taint after they piss you off.

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Holy shitsnacks!

Where's Waldo? - Manage to take more time off than you're technically allotted.

I'm Just Not Gonna Go anymore. - Manage to take more than twice as much time off than you're technically allotted.

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“The duty of a patriot is to protect his country from its government.” - Thomas Paine

I swear it didn't do that before I called you... - Client's problem disappears when you ask them to try to recreate the error.

Reboot! And then no more - Fix a problem by having the user reboot their PC 100 separate times.

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This must be Thursday. I could never get the hang of Thursdays.

They Mostly Come out at Night. Mostly. - Be at work before the night cleaning crew. Still be there when the leave.
Why Yes, I Expensed a sleeping bag. - have to spend the night in your workplace. Just in case
Working Smarter, Not Harder - Convince managment that a task is better suited to someone else 'so they can get experience'
Company Loyalist - do something at personal cost you COULD have charged to the company
Use it or Lose It - have your company pay to fly you to a remote location, put you up for training for a week all expenses paid, for a class you could take 2 miles down the road.

Beer Thirty: Share a beer with coworkers when it's gettin' to quittin' time.
Potluck Roulette: Put interesting additives in the dish you bring to the office party.
YouTube FTW!: Post footage of the results to the video sharing site of your choice.

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Magic box - Steal 20 sodas from the break room fridge

These aren't the sodas you're looking for - Get caught stealing a soda from the break room fridge.

Better off Ted - Catch someone stealing your soda from the break room fridge.

Take Five! - Convince your boss you should be allowed to take smoke breaks with the other smokers.

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Holy shitsnacks!

I gotta eat, goddammit! - Be the first to feed yourself at a department potluck lunch.

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This must be Thursday. I could never get the hang of Thursdays.