|
So, to my left is Rick S. 30something fella who is the laziest, no workin goober in here. Likes Jesus a little too much, doesn't like to pay for things(moocher is too kind a word). Doesn't like dogs. Supports conservative politics. Is currently feeling the affects of Bells Palsy? Looks like a pirate because his eye closes and one side of his mouth is crooked. Can be a very nice guy but his negatives seem to get in the way of that. Fun fact, A few months ago he was riding his hog(some cheap scooter he bought a while back when gas was like 4 bucks a gallon) and a "dog" ran out in front of him and he had to lay it down. Broke his leg. The dog was never found nor seen by anyone else so the running joke was that it was invisible. He still walks with a limp. For whatever reason, the local newspaper wanted to do a right up about the accident. His wife, similar to his mindset, gave them the false name of Richard Paul Shelton because she didn't trust the media. We frequently refer to him by that name.
Directly across from me is Chris Z. Hard working, anti social outside the office. The strangest fella I think I've ever met but who makes me laugh at least 8 times a day. Does thing like announce when he will make a noise. When he has an itch, will say "itch, itch, itch" when he scratches. Gets stuck on a song and then sings it throughout the day. Currently he likes to shout "Pretty Hitchhiker" from the CCR song Sweet Hitchhiker. When told that Pretty Hitchhiker isn't the right lyric, stated that it rolls off the tongue better than Sweet Hitchhiker. He and I have a running feud about which peanut butter is better. He's on the Skippy side while I go with Jif. Has THE loudest sneeze known to man. It would be like someone sitting 15 ft away from you yelling at the top of their lungs all of a sudden. Is in his early 40's but looks and definitely acts younger than that. Is married to an English woman he met while stationed overseas in the AF. Has large breeds of dogs as pets, all named after some sort of beer. While very friendly and hilarious in the office, doesn't really do much when he gets off work. Never orders out for lunch. And to finish, he likes to hide the remote for my iHome somewhere on my desk every day.
Across from me and to my right is Shelly F. Youngest in the office in the late 20s. Very good friend of mine. She is of Phillipino and American decent but we all call her the Mexican and we randomly play Spanish music from time to time. Is married to a pasty white guy and they created the cutest little boy that should be a heart throb when he is older. Dark skin with light blue eyes, smart as a whip at 4 years old. Shel likes to wear perriwinkle combat boots that have white daises painted on them while wearing a dress. This last Halloween, it was authorized for people to dress up but you could only dress up as a witch or zombie(don't as me why). While the folks who dressed as witches all went with the classic black outfit, warty nose and broom, she dressed as Glinda the good witch from the Wizard of Oz. She scowls a lot. Is in the process of deciding whether to take a job offer in Pensacola. Very good worker. She and Chris do the bulk of work(they are data analyst) and try to fix the screw ups that Rick usually has. Conservative when it comes to politics and national defense, moderate on most social issues.
In the separate room that he gets to himself because he likes to be that way is Thom G. You'd probably think he was a SOB when you first meet him but he's one of those guys that once you get to know him, can be the nicest guy around. Very gruff, doesn't trust the government. Very politically active. If there is something going on in Columbus, he is going to know about it. Is Jewish but you wouldn't know it. Doesn't have any toes on his left foot after an industrial roller accident at a job a number of years back. We call him the No Toed Jew Boy with love. His gruff demeanor cannot be stressed enough. You think he is a real ******* until you found out that he bought 20 bikes for the children's home or donated 10 computers that he fixed up himself or that he never charges anyone for doing computer work on the side. Doesn't like to brag about it. Can go off at the drop of the hat. Gives management a hard time and the term Gieger Bomb is commonly used. Fun Fact, has a step daughter that was my very first girlfriend.
In the top dogs office is Ken. F. He's the boss. Tall. Is mostly a computer guy but does a duel role as manager for the data folks as well. Highest hourly wage earner in the company here. Has his own official side computer business that he does rather well with. Has a daughter that just got of jail for drug issues. Has been raising her two sons and his own for a number of years now. Loves them to death. Good boss but doesn't really drop the hammer on anyone which can lead to problems. Has worked out here in different capacities for 20+ years. When I got laid off in Oct of 08, gave me a hundred bucks when I found out. Has some cajun in him and can get riled up though it's pretty rare.
Common themes in the office
The color Goldenrod
SNL Celebrity Jeopardy
Common dislike of Obama
I'm really gay(see: The color Goldenrod)
People are knuckleheads
Movies
Shelly's son's huge head
Dale and his bulging eyes
More cowbell
Before I was laid off, spades and hearts was played at lunch every day. Extremely competitively at that.
Rick's children only eating once a week(running joke)
Toenail pizza
That's my office. I have way too much fun here.
_________________
"It is true that democracy undermines freedom when voters believe they can live off of others' productivity, when they modify the commandment: 'Thou shalt not steal, except by majority vote.' The politics of plunder is no doubt destructive of both morality and the division of labor."
|
Login
Register
FAQ
Search
