Aizle wrote:
Paging Taamar and her hilarious story of toilet etiquette, stairs, unconciousness and German polizei.
By request, copied and pasted:
Once, long ago in a faraway land (Germany) I got up in the middle of the night to use the bathroom. I didn't turn the light on because I didn't want wake the baby, and I don't need glasses to pee, so I didn't see that the seat was up. Ever been to Germany? They like to examine their poop, so the toilets have these weird ledges that seem perfect for whacking a tailbone. Of course, I pissed myself at that point, but that's not the end of my suffering. The bathroom was an old converted closet with a sloped roof, which is fine when you are sitting normally, but caused me to whack my head standing up from the plunge. So now my butt bone hurts, and I've whacked my head and I'm wet... and I'm going to go kill my husband. I head back to the room and (remember no glasses?) run into the door edge-on. this splits my forehead, which bleeds profusely, but more importantly it causes me to stumble backwards and fall down the stairs. Mercifully, this knocks me out (and my husband slept right through it). A few hours later the trash guy comes along and finds a bloody bruised woman naked and unconscious/dead in front of a picture window and calls the polizei. German police don't have any hassles like warrants or Miranda rights, they bust down the door, which DOES wake Eric. He stumbles downstairs only to be grabbed and cuffed by shouting Germans. It's about at this point that I wake up. Neither of us speaks German, and they didn't think to bring a translator (we're off base but in an area dedicated to military housing), so while I'm dazed and hurting I'm trying to explain that this isn't an issue of domestic violence, just domestic stupidity. I ended up getting a robe and pantomiming the whole thing. They laughed at me, and the one woman officer there whacked Eric upside the head. Amazingly, the baby slept through the whole thing.
Eric never again left the seat up while we were married (though it was less than a year before I left him). I did see a facebook entry from his current wife saying that he's such a wonderful man he never forgets. I wonder if she's heard how he learned? You're welcome, Carmen!
As far as my position on the seat issue in general, women have smaller bladders and use the loo more. Also, because of our shorter urethra and childbearing duties we often have some control issues; half the time I can barely get my pants down in time. If I have to check the seat and possibly reposition it every time I'm going to be changing clothes several times a day.