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Should kids be allowed to say 4 letter words?
https://gladerebooted.net/viewtopic.php?f=2&t=7205		 Page 1 of 2
Author:  LadyKate [ Wed Sep 21, 2011 7:30 am ]
Post subject:  Should kids be allowed to say 4 letter words?
Should kids be allowed to cuss/curse/swear?

Like, is it ok for a 14 year old to swear but not a 5 year old? Is it ok to let them swear if they've injured themselves but no other time? Is it ok for them to say "d***!" or "s***!" in certain circumstances but not in others? Is it ok as long as they stay away from saying the F word, GD, or the C or P word?
Are you annoyed that I didn't actually type out those words? ;)
Author:  Müs [ Wed Sep 21, 2011 7:42 am ]
Post subject: 
As long as they're taught when to, and more importantly, *not* to cuss.

Words are words. They only have the power that you allow them.

But then, I'm a **** ******* ;)
Author:  Lex Luthor [ Wed Sep 21, 2011 7:45 am ]
Post subject: 
It depends on the environment they are in. Generally speaking though, yes, they should be allowed to. If kids cursed around me I would still tell them to stop but only because it's annoying.
Author:  Foamy [ Wed Sep 21, 2011 8:38 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Should kids be allowed to say 4 letter words?
I will teach my children that "bad" words are not to be used as a part of everyday speech. They are not appropriate to use when speaking with certain people. Oonagh and I endeavor to not use any foul language in front of our son as he now is repeating just about everything he hears.

He will likely hear a swear word now and then from occasional slips of the tongue, but I will make sure he knows that such words are not appropriate for use as a regular part of speech. I don't plan on yelling at him and telling him that "That is a bad word! Don't let me ever hear that out of your mouth ever again!" rather that it is inappropriate and offensive (to some) language and should not be used so freely.

I think that by stigmatizing a word and forbidding your children from ever saying it makes them more willing to keep using them; pressing their parent's buttons and testing limits. By teaching them what is proper language and what is unacceptable in most circumstances, they will learn and be less likely to "abuse" such language.
Author:  NephyrS [ Wed Sep 21, 2011 8:42 am ]
Post subject: 
/\ I agree with Foamy.

And, none of the options in the poll really fit.
Author:  LadyKate [ Wed Sep 21, 2011 8:45 am ]
Post subject: 
Eh, I didn't really know how the poll should go, but I wanted it there so I could post this in general instead of hellfire....just wanted a gauge of how other people here viewed the subject.
Author:  Aizle [ Wed Sep 21, 2011 9:18 am ]
Post subject: 
NSFW audio

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4QHiAZMKG5Q

Müs has the right of it.
Author:  Hopwin [ Wed Sep 21, 2011 9:30 am ]
Post subject: 
I'm going with a time and place. I think a rule that serves very well in life is to never swear in front of an "authority figure" (as children this means adults, as adults this means the boss) but feel free with friends and peers.
Author:  Darkroland [ Wed Sep 21, 2011 9:37 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Should kids be allowed to say 4 letter words?
As it has been commonly said, the average jr. high school lunch room is filthier than the dirtiest R rated movie. While I don't think children should be allowed to curse in front of their parents/mixed company, it's a relatively impossible task to "keep them from cursing" elsewhere.
Author:  Dash [ Wed Sep 21, 2011 10:11 am ]
Post subject: 
So long as it's in the proper context no problem. Probably would take to long to define "proper context"

Little kids running around swearing in public is low class to me.
Author:  Vindicarre [ Wed Sep 21, 2011 10:14 am ]
Post subject: 
Out of respect for my children, I don't swear in front of them. I hope they have the same respect for me.
Author:  Foamy [ Wed Sep 21, 2011 10:20 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Should kids be allowed to say 4 letter words?
Hopwin, Darkroland, Dash, Vindicarre:

Agreed. All good points.
Author:  Talya [ Wed Sep 21, 2011 10:35 am ]
Post subject: 
Children have less than stellar judgement about appropriate times to say various things. Even without using obscenities, they will innocently comment on people being overweight, or old (and going to die soon!) or similar. I remember my daughter shouting, on seeing a couple afflicted by dwarfism in a walmart... "Mommy! They look funny!" They will find ways to say things to embarass you.

Until they learn judgement and tact in speech, why would you allow four-letter words? I have nothing against the words themselves, but if you allow them at all, younger children will use them at the worst possible times.
Author:  Rorinthas [ Wed Sep 21, 2011 11:57 am ]
Post subject:  Should kids be allowed to say 4 letter words?
If it's wrong to swear, then age isn't an issue. I don't want to do it, let alone my kids. I still mess up some times.
Author:  Talya [ Wed Sep 21, 2011 11:58 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Should kids be allowed to say 4 letter words?
Rorinthas wrote:
If it's wrong to swear, then age isn't an issue. I don't want to do it, let alone my kids. I still mess up some times.

If it's not wrong to swear, then it can still be wrong to swear at the wrong time, and children have a hard time choosing when is appropriate. So we do not swear in front of our children and they are not allowed to use obscene language. This is where I stand.
Author:  Lenas [ Wed Sep 21, 2011 12:36 pm ]
Post subject: 
The biggest thing kids need a grasp is how to recognize when things are appropriate. Once I realize my kid can do that, I don't give a **** what words he chooses.
Author:  Aizle [ Wed Sep 21, 2011 1:12 pm ]
Post subject: 
This thread has me thinking of 7 words.
Author:  Corolinth [ Wed Sep 21, 2011 1:43 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Should kids be allowed to say 4 letter words?
There is a serious problem with the phrasing of the question that inhibits rational discussion of the topic, and renders the poll largely meaningless. The word "kid" has a very large range. To a crusty old curmudgeon like Khross, a 25 year-old man could be a kid. Kate herself does not appear to really know what she means by "kid" as given by her example of a 5 year-old as compared to a 14 year-old - and make no mistake, there is a vast gulf of difference between the two. Taly seems to be answering that it is not okay for kids to use profanities, yet Taly herself was **** at 14.

Somewhere in the middle, the rules have to change. There is a lot of growth and development between 5 and 14, and it's not just physical development. The mind grows and expands. I remember my mother jamming a bar of soap into my mouth when I was 6 years old. I also remember sitting with my mother watching South Park when i was 15, and reciting the lines to one another to make each other laugh. The same woman who used to punish me for using those words was laughing to hear me say them, but that didn't mean I got to say them whenever I wanted.

Interestingly enough, it would be the setting where I had the most freedom to speak where I learned to exercise restraint and determine when it was appropriate to use foul language and when it was not: Boy Scouts. We all thought that, like in school, we'd get yelled at for cursing. Then, one of the adults made a mistake and swore, except unlike every other time an adult had used a naughty word, he didn't dance around it with any cute apologies like, "Pardon my French." He didn't even acknowledge that he'd said anything improper. These men had mouths as clean as any other adult we knew - we never heard them use such language during any of the meetings. It wasn't until we were camping, and they would cut themselves, burn themselves, hit their heads on tree branches, or any other of a variety of minor campsite accidents that we'd hear those words come out. They didn't chew us out when we used them ourselves. They didn't flinch or bat an eye to hear one of us saying the seven words you're not supposed to say - unless we were in charge of the younger kids. When it was just us by ourselves, we could say whatever we wanted. When we were supposed to be teaching the younger kids how to start their cooking fire, we had to watch our mouths. Nobody told us we couldn't let the language fly, but we knew. We knew the adults cursed and swore, but that they didn't do it when they were running a meeting. We had our example to follow, and learned that there was a time and place.
Author:  darksiege [ Wed Sep 21, 2011 4:33 pm ]
Post subject:  Re:
Müs wrote:
As long as they're taught when to, and more importantly, *not* to cuss.

Words are words. They only have the power that you allow them.

But then, I'm a **** ******* ;)


This
Author:  Talya [ Wed Sep 21, 2011 5:44 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Should kids be allowed to say 4 letter words?
Corolinth wrote:
Taly seems to be answering that it is not okay for kids to use profanities, yet Taly herself was **** at 14.


Someone didn't read.

I am arguing that it's not okay to use profanity until one can reliably determine the appropriateness of it in various social situations. I did not specify a particular age when this happens.

One interesting thought is that perhaps it is our forbidding of children to use profanity that helps teach them when it is appropriate. We know, of course, they still end up using profanity...with their friends, in informal situations, where adults are not there to condemn them. And in so doing, they learn tact. Eventually of course, they realize adults use those words too (some earlier than others), but they've already learned that there are inappropriate times and places to use such language.
Author:  Raltar [ Wed Sep 21, 2011 7:45 pm ]
Post subject: 
I'd say if they are over 10, it's probably not going to be a problem as long as you teach your children when to use them and when not to. At school in class? Probably not a good idea, but that's only because you can get in trouble for some stupid **** reason. Out on the playground? Sure, why the **** not?

Younger than 10...well, Taly has the best point here. Most children just blurt out whatever the **** comes to mind without thinking about it. That could potentially be bad.
Author:  Micheal [ Wed Sep 21, 2011 7:53 pm ]
Post subject: 
It i a complicated situation, and the answer is therefore also complicated. Some of it is inherent in how the question is phrased. Should kids be allowed to cuss?

Preferably, I would say no. I don't cuss very often myself, don't care for it in general, and don't see a need for it in everyday common speech.

Realistically, you can't stop kids from learning the words unless you lock them up in a tower and allow them no access to media and other children. That isn't going to happen.

So, assuming that it is inevitable they learn the cuss words, the majority of your responsibility as a parent is teaching them the proper meaning of the words, the different classes of cuss words, and how they affect other people. Without this training they think it is okay and cool to cuss. This follows into a lesson on appropriate use of cuss words. This can easily be mistaken as a Carte Blanche permission to use them whenever you can fit them in. It needs to be explained carefully that when you use them casually you rapidly lose the power they hold.

An "oh ****" from someone who peppers their speech with it every five minutes or less has no power other than annoyance. The same phrase from someone who never swears can move people quickly in an emergency situation. If the kids want to keep the power of foul language, they need to learn to use it sparingly and for maximum effect.

Language is a tool, knowing when and how to speak, even the bad words, is a sign of leadership. Anybody can be a **** ******* and overuse the vulgar and profane to the point where they mean nothing.

This is in effect, a subset of the third commandment. If you use God's name constantly and trivially, it becomes meaningless to those who hear it, at least from your lips.
Author:  Raell [ Thu Sep 22, 2011 5:37 am ]
Post subject: 
My son is 16...I can't stop him now.
Author:  Diamondeye [ Thu Sep 22, 2011 8:41 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Should kids be allowed to say 4 letter words?
Small children, no. With kids of age 12 or so, and up, it's more like they need to know when it's ok. If they cut themselves or break something and it slips out, fine. If they're hanging out with their friends, and you overhear it, fine. Even hanging out with dad, I let my older daughter use whatever kind of language she wanted once she got into high school because I wanted her to feel comfortable talking to me and not like she was going to get yelled at, which helped in that I could eventually coax almost anything she did or anything that was bothering her, out of her. I didn't allow any JC'ing or GD'ing but other than that it was fine.

What I didn't allow was for her to go in her room with her friends and then cuss up a blue streak so the whole house could hear it, or generally any cussing in front of her mom, grandmom, or (most importantly) little sister. One time she had a band concert at school and when we were leaving she and I were walking about 10 feet ahead of mom, grandma, and sissy. First thing out of her mouth (this was January) "It's **** cold" as soon as we step outside.

"WHACK!"

"What'd I do?"

"I don't care if you talk like that in front of me, but your mom, grandma, and sister are right back there."

"Oh, sorry."
Author:  Taskiss [ Thu Sep 22, 2011 10:54 am ]
Post subject: 
Give kids all the rules of life up front and never let an opportunity go by where you can enforce them. Thing is, if there's an important rule and you don't teach it to them, some stranger later in life will, and probably with much less compassion than you would.

They'll learn when they can safely ignore rules without any lessons from you at all.
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