The Glade 4.0
https://gladerebooted.net/

In Soviet Oregon, Bacon Eats You!
https://gladerebooted.net/viewtopic.php?f=2&t=9198		 Page 1 of 1
Author:  FarSky [ Wed Oct 03, 2012 11:27 am ]
Post subject:  In Soviet Oregon, Bacon Eats You!
http://now.msn.com/terry-garner-farmer- ... d=ansnow11

Quote:
Farmer eaten by his 700-pound homicidal hogs

We were unfamiliar with the idea of pigs being carnivorous until we watched “Deadwood.” It was terrifying to learn, and further justified our consumption of pork products. Alas, nature is a cruel mistress with a twisted sense of humor. One day you’re a man feeding his pigs, the next you’re a man whose pigs feed on you. Such was the awful fate apparently suffered by Terry Garner, a 70-year-old Oregon farmer. Last week, Garner left his house to feed his animals. When he failed to return after several hours, family members discovered his dentures and “few uneaten body parts” in the enclosure containing his 700-pound hogs.
Author:  Rynar [ Wed Oct 03, 2012 11:37 am ]
Post subject: 
Got to feed them if we want to avert the global bacon shortage.
Author:  Arathain Kelvar [ Wed Oct 03, 2012 11:55 am ]
Post subject: 
Yes, this is well known by pretty much any farmer, and I guarantee known by this poor unfortunate fellow.

Pigs eat anything. Well, everything. They are also hunters - they don't graze - and they are very intelligent.

Think of them like 700 lb dogs that consider you a potential, if not ideal, food source.

It's only a matter of time until someone gets eaten.

Growing up, my mother kept a ~400-600 pound sow (nothing cuter than piglets). One day, she decided to break out and into the chicken pen, and ate ALL the chickens.

My mother, who had small children, and now a large animal with thoughts of breaking out and eating fresh meat, had her butchered immediately.
Author:  Diamondeye [ Wed Oct 03, 2012 1:05 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: In Soviet Oregon, Bacon Eats You!
Image

Have one, when dealing with any animal that weighs 700 pounds.
Author:  Foamy [ Wed Oct 03, 2012 1:46 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: In Soviet Oregon, Bacon Eats You!
Read about this story yesterday and as soon as I saw Farskie's title, I knew what to expect.

Plus, this immediately reminded me of the following exchange from one of Oonagh and my favorite movies:

Spoiler:
Snatch wrote:
Brick Top: You're always gonna have problems lifting a body in one piece. Apparently the best thing to do is cut up a corpse into six pieces and pile it all together.

Sol: Would someone mind telling me, who are you?

Brick Top: And when you got your six pieces, you gotta get rid of them, because it's no good leaving it in the deep freeze for your mum to discover, now is it? Then I hear the best thing to do is feed them to pigs. You got to starve the pigs for a few days, then the sight of a chopped-up body will look like curry to a pisshead. You gotta shave the heads of your victims, and pull the teeth out for the sake of the piggies' digestion. You could do this afterwards, of course, but you don't want to go sievin' through pig ****, now do you? They will go through bone like butter. You need at least sixteen pigs to finish the job in one sitting, so be wary of any man who keeps a pig farm. They will go through a body that weighs 200 pounds in about eight minutes. That means that a single pig can consume two pounds of uncooked flesh every minute. Hence the expression, "as greedy as a pig".

Vinny: Well, thank you for that. That's a great weight off me mind. Now, if you wouldn't mind telling me who the **** you are, apart from someone who feeds people to pigs of course?
Author:  Nitefox [ Wed Oct 03, 2012 1:49 pm ]
Post subject: 
Snatch! Love that movie.
Page 1 of 1 All times are UTC - 6 hours [ DST ]
Powered by phpBB® Forum Software © phpBB Group
https://www.phpbb.com/