The Glade 4.0

http://larrybrownsports.com/mma/fighter ... nis/166466

MMA is a pretty dangerous combat sport that can lead to some serious injuries. Who would figure that the most gruesome injury one fighter suffered actually happened out of the cage?

Ray Elbe, who competed on Season 9 of “The Ultimate Fighter,” announced on Saturday that he sustained one of the most horrifying injuries we can think of: a broken penis. No, the injury did not occur while he was fighting; it actually happened while he was having sex.

Elbe explained in a video posted on his website over the weekend that the injury occurred while he was having sex with his girlfriend in Malaysia on Dec. 3. He says his penis broke (ed note: there is no bone to break) when his girlfriend landed hard on him. Blood began spraying everywhere.

“I ended up fracturing my penis bone … I tore the urinary tract, tore some membrane — as it happened you can imagine the shock and the horror that was going on,” Elbe said in the video. “I jumped up from the intimate moment, blood shooting out of my groin. I immediately tried to run to the shower, felt myself losing consciousness, tried to walk back to the bed at which point I collapsed, knocking myself out. I gave myself 10 stitches and fractured a couple teeth.”

Elbe says he tried treating himself after coming to, and that his girlfriend was frantic. She called emergency while he was laying naked on the floor in a pool of blood.

Elbe says he spent 13 days — including his birthday — in the hospital, and that he’s still using a catheter to urinate. He says he’s going back for a checkup on Dec. 19 where the catheter should be removed.

Elbe was obviously embarrassed about the injury, but he says he went public about it to raise awareness for it.

“This is probably the worst nightmare you can think of,” he said. “The biggest problem people suffering from this medical emergency encounter…is not immediately seeking medical attention.

“I hope my story helps someone with a similar injury in some way…as this experience is truly something you would never wish on anyone..lol,” Elbe wrote on his blog.

Over Twitter, Elbe described the experience as coming “as close to death as you can come without dying.”

Doctors expect him to make a full recovery.

We’ve seen other athletes get hurt during sex, but this is the first time I’ve ever heard of someone breaking their penis. I honestly didn’t even know that was possible, so I really do thank Elbe for sharing his story to help educate the public.

And here I was thinking sex was supposed to be an enjoyable experience …

Here’s a photo of Elbe and his girlfriend (who he says will soon be his fiancee) in less horrifying times:





Ummm..ow?

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"It is true that democracy undermines freedom when voters believe they can live off of others' productivity, when they modify the commandment: 'Thou shalt not steal, except by majority vote.' The politics of plunder is no doubt destructive of both morality and the division of labor."

so if she says she is going to tear that **** up... she means it.

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Darksiege
Traveller, Calé, Whisperer
Lead me not into temptation; for I know a shortcut

When I worked surgery, we had some of these cases come in. Thankfully I wasn't required to help in those, as they are not perdy. I've been told they shorten the tool a smidge when they fix it, which for some dudes could be quite noticable!

When it got to "Blood began spraying everywhere" I stoped reading for a few seconds to go AAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH for a few seconds in my mind.

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"...the line dividing good and evil cuts through the heart of every human being. And who is willing to destroy a piece of his own heart?" -Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn

I can't cross my legs any harder. Thank goodness watching lots of anime has given me the ability to perfectly imagine this: “I jumped up from the intimate moment, blood shooting out of my groin."

Uh. Question...what does he actually mean? There's no literal bone there to break?

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Well Ali Baba had them forty thieves, Scheherezade had a thousand tales
But master you in luck 'cause up your sleeves you got a brand of magic never fails...
...Mister Aladdin, sir, What will your pleasure be?
Let me take your order, Jot it down -You ain't never had a friend like me
█ ♣ █

The medical diagnosis for his condition is "penile fracture," and I'll bet he's fixated on the "fracture" part. Most people think of "fracture" as only being for bone tissue, and "rupture" for soft tissues, but medically the proper term for a break in any tissue, soft or bone, is "fracture."

It's kinda rare for an open penile fracture with lots of blood though

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Women are from Hoboken, men are from Trenton. ~ Jimmy Kimmel

It's gonna be awkward getting people to sign his cast.

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The Dude abides.

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Grenade 3 Sports Drink. It's fire in the hole.. Your hole!

These seem to just...go together I guess?

Again...ow?

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"It is true that democracy undermines freedom when voters believe they can live off of others' productivity, when they modify the commandment: 'Thou shalt not steal, except by majority vote.' The politics of plunder is no doubt destructive of both morality and the division of labor."

Jumping Jesus...

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Raell Kromwell

Gives new meaning to "tear-assing around".

Really, if you're opening "random disgusting injuries" to professional wrestling, you've got a long way to go. It was common practice for a while for trainers to break the ankle of a new trainee in every class just to prove wrestling was real.

Truly the out-of-context quotation gods have smiled upon us this day.

Edit: Maybe he should stop horsing around.

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Sail forth! steer for the deep waters only!
Reckless, O soul, exploring, I with thee, and thou with me;
For we are bound where mariner has not yet dared to go,
And we will risk the ship, ourselves and all.

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Holy shitsnacks!

Yeah, the broken dick thing is often a result of man on bottom, slip-out, you get the idea.
The anus tearing.....I gotta call bullshit. This dude be taking a dildo up the chute or has a BF. He's just making **** up.

Kinda like those guys that would come into the ER with an object stuffed up their rectum......"I fell on it". Yeah buddy, sure you did..

If you fell on it bro, who lubed it up beforehand?

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Holy shitsnacks!