The Glade 4.0

Some things I heard in raid this week:

"Can I just run and get my ring real quick?"

Translation: "Can you guys all wait around doing nothing for 5 minutes. I know we're about to try the boss and everyone is ready to go now and we're not even at a teleporter so I have to physically run all the way there and back, but this upgrade cant wait til we're all at a break point!!!"

"Can I run and get this enchanted real quick?" (Yes same guy)

Translation: "Can you guys wait for me again, this one will probably take even longer! I feel that my personal needs warrant making the raid wait around for a good 20 minutes. I'm oblivious to the fact that if everyone did the same thing raids would take 4 days."

"4 of 5 Paladins in buff range for my Pally Power"

Translation: Person X is not here yet. Person X is always dead last to get back after a wipe. He or she arrives a good 5 minutes after the first of us do.

"*Random admonition about game mechanics here* i.e. stay out of this, or make sure you do that"

Translation: I know I repeatedly train various slimes, oozes and such into the raid and botch mechanics myself but I'm still going to talk to you all like you're the dopes doing it.


I dont mind people reminding the raid to watch out for things and we ALL screw up to some degree myself included... but if you're the one screwing up regularly at least be humble about it. This person usually is NOT humble.

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“Strong people are harder to kill than weak people, and more useful in general”. - Mark Rippetoe

I really don't get the Paladin one.

These sound similar to the things commonly heard in BGs

"Protect Glaives you noobs!"

Translation: I'm driving a glaive (or whatever depending on the BG) and want everyone to focus on keeping my vehicle safe. Forget defense, capturing nodes, carrying seaforium charge or anything else, if I die it's because "no one protected me" even if there were 3 glaives together with 6 other people protecting them

"We have no defense"

Translation: I'm on offense and don't want to play defense, but I don't want to suffer the consequences if not enough people do want to play defense

"You guys all suck. Don't come to BGs if you're not here to win"

Tanslation: I either have no idea what to do here or couldn't express it coherently if I did. I'll therefore pretend I'm the only one here doing anything useful.

"You guys are getting farmed"

Translation: There aren't enough of you to stop the enemy but you're doing your best. Rather than help out, however, I'll pretend that we're either going to lose despite the fact that we're winning or ignore the fact that 7 of you are trying to hold off 25 of them. I'd rather lose the battle and complain about it that suffer the indignity of playing defense

"We're turtling"

Translation: 3 possible

1: We're winning, and if we hold what we got, we can't lose. This would deny me the opportunity to get more HKs or capture more codes or whatever though, so I'll pretend it's a problem even if we're going to win 30 seconds from now

2: We didn't capture enough graveyards so we've been forced back into a turtle because people don't get that if they respawn 1/3 of the distance we have to run to an objective we.. can't easily take it. In this case I'm technically right, but complaining because I made no effort to capture GYs becuase I didn't feel like it

3: We actually have a good balance of offense and defense and will probably win, but I still think an all-out blitzkrieg is always the way to go, despite the fact that it allows the enemy to do the same damn thing to us. I'll therefore complain that the 1/3 or so of us on defense are "turtling" despite the fact that we're kicking their ***.

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"Hysterical children shrieking about right-wing anything need to go sit in the corner and be quiet while the adults are talking."

Ha yeah battlegrounds are even more frustrating than raids but I expect it I guess.

I find like most things in these games it's infinitely more enjoyable and successful with pre-made groups. So far I've just been going it alone to learn them but I hear the same things. At least your BG groups go for the docks and get glaives in the first place!

The paladin thing is my own little pet peeve. When we are attempting a new boss and wipe a lot, you have to wait for everyone to release... fly to the instance and run back to the staging area. This one dude was consistently the last one there by a good margin and it holds up everyone. It's just annoying.

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“Strong people are harder to kill than weak people, and more useful in general”. - Mark Rippetoe

This brought up memories of learning Ragnaros.... being one of 3 priests in a 40 man raid and having to do the mind control thing to buff the entire raid with the NPC in blackrock spire... and getting complaints that I was last to get there. D'oh!

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Memento Vivere

I have local knowledge.
That sandbar was not there yesterday!