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Hellraiser: Revelations - my review
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Author:  darksiege [ Wed Jan 02, 2013 7:32 pm ]
Post subject:  Hellraiser: Revelations - my review

This movie has been out for a while.. but I would like to share the review I just gave it on amazon:

Watching a pile of head cheese warm up in the sun would be more entertaining.

The only thing of quality about Hellraiser: Revelations is the material Amazon used to ship it to me. This was obviously an attempt to get any pile of offal released so they did not lose the Hellraiser license.

A dead goldfish would have been more convincing as Pinhead. They could not even use his voice for his character. The acting is performed with all of the talent of a cardboard box an hour after being submerged into a swimming pool. it was one step below having a Betamax player stuck on infinite loop between Buckaroo Banzai, Vibes and Battlefield Earth.

I bought this simply because I already have the other 8 Hellraiser movies. But if you can avoid going OCD with a movie collection (I cannot) do yourself a favor and avoid this movie like it could give you the plague.

Author:  Micheal [ Wed Jan 02, 2013 9:04 pm ]
Post subject: 

Off topic, I have a friend who claims to have CDO, its like OCD, just in alphabetical order like it belongs.

Never watched the Hellraiser movies. They just don't appeal to me.

Author:  FarSky [ Wed Jan 02, 2013 9:11 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Hellraiser: Revelations - my review

'Revelations' was made solely for one purpose: for the company to retain the 'Hellraiser' film rights, as another studio was trying to put together a remake (film rights are granted on a 'use-it-or-lose-it' basis, to prevent a studio with a rival property from simply buying up the rights and sitting on them in order to keep the property out of play). This is the express reason the legendarily bad Roger Corman 'Fantastic Four' film was made.

To quote Clive Barker:
“Hello, my friends. I want to put on record that the flick out there using the word Hellraiser IS NO ****’ CHILD OF MINE! I have NOTHING to do with the ****’ thing. If they claim it's from the mind of Clive Barker, it’s a lie. It’s not even from my butt-hole.”

Author:  darksiege [ Wed Jan 02, 2013 9:33 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Hellraiser: Revelations - my review

I remember reading that Farsky. I just need it for the sake of completion

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Author:  Numbuk [ Thu Jan 03, 2013 12:39 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Hellraiser: Revelations - my review

Only hellraiser sequel I ever liked was Bloodlines. Especially if it had been the last one.

Author:  Darkroland [ Thu Jan 03, 2013 12:37 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Hellraiser: Revelations - my review

Yeah, after bloodlines they started taking non-hellraiser movies and slapping the name on them to give them some name recognition. They'd film one or two scenes with the cenobytes and that was that. Pretty disappointing. I actually thought V: inferno, was a decent film even without the Hellraiser stuff. The rest have been pretty throwaway. We did a marathon of the first 4 one night, and while the 3rd one was pretty silly (DEATH BY CD!), the first 4 manage to have a really tight continuity.

Author:  darksiege [ Thu Jan 03, 2013 12:57 pm ]
Post subject: 

honestly... I bought them all just to have the collection. I am perfectly willing to look at 5,6 & 7 as non hellraiser bonus footage they threw in.

8... would have been a cool plot if they had not tacked on the Hellraiser in the real world crap.

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