The Glade 4.0

So, I'm with the wife again + our adorable son. But, I don't think it'll last. I wanted it to work, but she's totally impossible to get along with. She's not violent at least, but she's still a crazy ******* with a touch of nice that only lasts a few days at a time before something rubs her the wrong way that confirms he belief that I am bipolar and "scary to be with" (!?!) She says she doesn't love me anymore and is just around for Isaac, but it's clear she's just around because I'm the one paying the bills. I believe her lack of love is true, and anything that seems otherwise is just an act of sorts.

I've been low on money since moving back to the US, but I will hopefully be in a more comfortable situation in a few weeks. She wants to wait a few years until he can walk, because she thinks a toddler is easier to handle than a crawling baby (?!) She though a crawling baby would be easier than a wiggling baby too though. She has weird thoughts. She's physically weak and I doubt her ability to take care of him alone.

My immediate concerns are that we've started paperwork to get her daughter... She's puppy-dog eye'd me on wanting her daughter to go to college, but there's no way we can make that happen with our funds. She needs a good scholarship. I'll also suggest a trade school. College is overrated.

Same for herself, though she wouldn't try to work until he gets older, her caregiver course in the Philippines doesn't count for **** here. I don't want to spend money on her only for her to get all flakey. I helped pay for the other course and she's not using it. I hear complaints that I don't support her, but she doesn't have a passion for anything that I can see. Can she get paid posting pictures on facebook?

Right now I think I'd be willing to just get the divorce with no lawyers. They'd make me pay for her representation, and I don't want to blow all our savings, such as they are. I haven't even been able to contribute to my IRA in the last 3 years since we've been stuck together. I kinda just want and end to this chapter of my life. I'd hate to end up being away from my son, but it's better to do it before he can have memories of the unhappy union his parents share.

_________________
"...the line dividing good and evil cuts through the heart of every human being. And who is willing to destroy a piece of his own heart?" -Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn

I agree - take care of it soon. Like NOW. It's only going to get more complicated with her daughter stuff, and as your son starts figuring out what's going on. Besides, the time to get divorced is when you're broke.

Just protect your relationship with your son. Don't let that go.

Truth

_________________

Recognize that you were only ever a ticket to the United Stats to her.

_________________
Buckle your pants or they might fall down.

I don't know if that's true, but it doesn't matter anymore. Her ire ramps up steadily. This morning she flipped out because I didn't make her breakfast and forgot the ring. Forget that I'm trying to get myself ready for work and take care of him while she's still trying to sleep. She said I wouldn't see him again when I got back home and beat on me as I left.

I've already looked into what to do if she tried to run off with him, so I'm already prepared for that.

We stayed with my mother and step-father for a couple months while I searched for a jerb. During that time she decided that our culture sucks and it's weird that strangers smile at you and say good morning. She also hates my family, despite how nice they are to her. She's a bit paranoid. Example:
My step father was talking to me about the KY, Wildcats game on TV (I guess they were in the playoffs or something, whatever) He says "Eric, I know you don't care, but you came just in time" Later, when we're about to sleep she is upset, because she thought she was talking about her... "I know you don't care (about her) but you came (as in semen) just in time" WTF?! Context isn't something she recognizes I guess? She often thought they were thinking bad about her or something. It was ridiculous.

_________________
"...the line dividing good and evil cuts through the heart of every human being. And who is willing to destroy a piece of his own heart?" -Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn

I don't really know the back story here, but if it's this awful, why are you assuming custody of her daughter? I hate to say it, but she's not your problem.

Get you and your kid out of the crazy radius as soon as you can. Document everything, if you feel threatened by her call the police and make the first report.

_________________
"...but there exists also in the human heart a depraved taste for equality, which impels the weak to attempt to lower the powerful to their own level and reduces men to prefer equality in slavery to inequality with freedom." - De Tocqueville

I've been trying to talk to an attorney or two and get some free consultations. It's just slow going when I have to work at the same time. I'm not ready for her to know, so I don't want to take calls at the house. I have to have been living in CA for 6 months to file the divorce, so I contacted the attorney from TX when I was trying to get a divorce from Japan. (I canceled it after we were separated, she convinced me to try and work it out for the baby) It might be worth it to have to show up in a TX court so I don't have to wait as long, but we'll see what they have to say.

I think she may be more hesitant to violence, since I've shown I'll call the cops a year ago. When I did, she told me it was one of the worst things a husband could do to a wife. I can't imagine she'd hurt him, but I'd take him out of the house with me if I could. It was unsettling for me to have him crying in the back ground Monday with her screaming at me and chasing me out of the house.

_________________
"...the line dividing good and evil cuts through the heart of every human being. And who is willing to destroy a piece of his own heart?" -Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn

Jesus, man. Solve it right away.

AKA the "cradius".

Get yourself and your son out as fast as you can. That is not healthy, and it will destroy your own self belief eventually. It will be hard in the medium term, but it will only get harder the longer you let it wail on you.