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 Post subject: date raped?
PostPosted: Wed Mar 17, 2010 6:26 am 
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I was visiting a friend last night-- we talked for a few hours and then she left to go spend some time with a new friend of hers. She's not supposed to drink due to the meds she's on but did anyways. I advised her again and again to let me look out for her, but she demanded I leave.


I got a very confused text this morning at 5:45 Am stating that she woke up with no recollection of what happened last night for most of the night. She was clear she didn't want to have sex last night. She woke up nude in bed. She's 2 hours away right now, but I'm having a major freak out-- I should have stayed, she's too out of it to make rational decisions and her 2 drink max shouldn't have made her black out but she's not sure what all she drank. she's sleeping it off right now butI can't convince her to go to a clinic. She says there are no 'signs' she was raped but she obviously was concerned enough about it to go around checking for signs.

What do I do?????


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PostPosted: Wed Mar 17, 2010 6:31 am 
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TheRiov wrote:
...she demanded I leave.


...I should have stayed

What do I do?????

Go back to bed. She doesn't want help.

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Last edited by Taskiss on Wed Mar 17, 2010 6:33 am, edited 1 time in total.

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PostPosted: Wed Mar 17, 2010 6:33 am 
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Noli me calcare
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Tell your adult friend to talk to her adult friend with whom she spent the "unaccounted for" time.

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 Post subject: Re: date raped?
PostPosted: Wed Mar 17, 2010 6:43 am 
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of course

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It's not your problem, stay out of it and away from the issue. You did your part and got put in your place. Stay there.

If she thinks she was raped she should call the police immediately.

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 Post subject: Re: date raped?
PostPosted: Wed Mar 17, 2010 10:04 am 
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What Gorse said. She's got a lot of gall to tell you to leave and then call you to tell you she thinks it's possible she maybe got raped possibly. If she's really concerned about it she needs to go to the police. This "I want you to leave, but then I want to call you later and complain about how I might have been raped after you left but I don't really have a reason to think so, but I won't got to a clinic/police station" just reeks of bullshit to me.

Is it possible she got raped? Yes.

However, what you're telling us just has "agenda" written all over it. What do you mean, for example, when she says she "made it clear" she didn't want to have sex? Did she make it clear to him when you were there, or just tell you she did later? Does she have any memory of sex? Foreplay? Anything leading in that direction? You said she "blacked out for most of the night". What does that mean, exactly?

As for waking up naked.. ok. People sleep naked all the time, especially when they're too drunk to get into their pajamas, and while you claim she only had two drinks, you also said she's not supposed to be drinking at all.

It's a giant leap from "I woke up naked and don't remember anything" to "I must have been raped", but too many people are willing to make that leap, especially women who don't want to look like sluts. I've seen them do it and I've been there when they got caught at it.

I think you're being manipulated.

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Last edited by Diamondeye on Wed Mar 17, 2010 7:38 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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 Post subject: Re: date raped?
PostPosted: Wed Mar 17, 2010 10:22 am 
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Diamondeye wrote:

I think you're being manipulated.


This...

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 Post subject: Re: date raped?
PostPosted: Wed Mar 17, 2010 10:37 am 
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The Dancing Cat
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Squirrel Girl wrote:
Diamondeye wrote:

I think you're being manipulated.


This...

My ex did this to me shortly after our break-up. I think its in my NSFW thread in here.

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PostPosted: Wed Mar 17, 2010 3:01 pm 
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I wake up naked without recollection all the time. Doesn't mean I got boned, just that I got hammered.

In all cerealness, forget about it.


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PostPosted: Wed Mar 17, 2010 6:17 pm 
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something sounds really fishy about the situation.

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PostPosted: Wed Mar 17, 2010 8:04 pm 
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Bull Moose
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Manipulation sounds right.

You have a tendency to try to play the white knight TheRiov. Consider this, if she didn't want to get laid would she have asked you to leave?

It didn't go the way she wanted, now you are her go to guy.

You seem to be the back up plan.

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 Post subject: Re:
PostPosted: Thu Mar 18, 2010 2:07 am 
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Lenas wrote:
I wake up naked without recollection all the time. Doesn't mean I got boned

In your case, I think that's what that means.

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PostPosted: Thu Mar 18, 2010 3:13 am 
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TheRiov, your friend's made some poor decisions. That's not your fault, you gave some good advice which she didn't heed.

Poor Decision #1: Drinking while on meds that do not interact well with alcohol. There's two main reasons medications come with this sort of warning: One is that the medication is harder for the liver to metabolize the medication, and drinking alcohol while on the medication could damage liver function. The other is that the mixture of the medication and alcohol intensifies the effects of one or both drugs. It's entirely possible that your friend did nothing but get really drunk really fast on not much alcohol, which may have lead to drinking more than she intended (to the point of blacking out) and was not date-raped.

But it's also possible that she was, and the only way to tell is for her to go get examined, quickly. But you say she won't, and that's Poor Decision #2.

These are her decisions, and she's going to have to own them and their consequences. You cannot make her do anything. All you can do, if manipulation isn't the case (and I'm not all that sure that it isn't), is to be supportive of her as she deals with these consequences.

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 Post subject: Re: date raped?
PostPosted: Thu Mar 18, 2010 11:15 am 
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Squirrel Girl wrote:
Diamondeye wrote:

I think you're being manipulated.


This...


This.

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 Post subject: Re: Re:
PostPosted: Thu Mar 18, 2010 11:23 am 
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Screeling wrote:
Lenas wrote:
I wake up naked without recollection all the time. Doesn't mean I got boned

In your case, I think that's what that means.

Dammit!


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