The Glade 4.0 :: View topic - WTF is wrong with me!? (prolly nsfw)

I reeeeallly cannot afford alimony.

Hop, you've only been married what 6 months? There's no reason that a judge should award her any kind of alimony at all. There's no kids involved, and she's the one that's committed the infidelity and whatnot.

Have a consult with a lawyer, I'm sure there are free legal aid people where you are. The best thing you can do is to talk with one in your area. Whether you end up on her **** list or not, you need to get her out of your life. Seriously.

Also can anyone explain to me why she won't just leave me alone??

Every time she calls you she is high. This is not a Hollywood movie with a semi-happy ending. Odds are she is still using and is mentally ill in ways you don't understand. I assume she is a drama queen on a regular basis?

What Lydiaa, Raell, and Taamar said. All good, well accurate thoughts.

What Mus and Darkseige said too.

Stop with the rebounding stuff. Use this experience. Learn this lesson.

Go see a doctor, get checked for everything you can think of. Tell him exactly what she is and what she has done.

Are you still in nursing? You can move anywhere and get a job. Get some training in gerontology and you're set until you retire.

Anullement. Drop her stuff and cats off at mom's place. Relocate.

The principal grounds for annulment are bigamy, marrying before the legal age of marriage, and the mental incapacity of one or both persons at the time of their marriage, or that the consent of either spouse to the marriage was obtained by fraud or force.

Sorry, let me be explicit. I cannot afford an attorney and she has many at her disposal who would do it... ah... "Pro-Bono"...

Quote:

The principal grounds for annulment are bigamy, marrying before the legal age of marriage, and the mental incapacity of one or both persons at the time of their marriage, or that the consent of either spouse to the marriage was obtained by fraud or force.

Hopwin wrote:

Quote:

The principal grounds for annulment are bigamy, marrying before the legal age of marriage, and the mental incapacity of one or both persons at the time of their marriage, or that the consent of either spouse to the marriage was obtained by fraud or force.

Fraud can include dishonesty about ones past (sexual history, crime, illness, drug use), demonstrated lack of intent to remain faithful, or a secondary relationship that was never terminated. So... a druggie former prostitute who hadn't/couldn't break of with her ex and kept sleeping around and lying, married at a time when you were still bereaved. I'm pretty sure a case can be made for anullment. It's cheaper than divorce and means she can never have any legal claim on you.

Author:	Hopwin [ Thu Dec 03, 2009 10:56 pm ]
Post subject:	WTF is wrong with me!? (prolly nsfw)
Ok I have a confession to make. After Amy passed I kind of went crazy and ended up at a strip club with some friends wasted out of my mind. That night I met a stripper named "Serina" who gave me her number. The next day I called her and we set up a date. Our first date she told me she was seeing someone who was physically and emotionally abusive and that she wanted more than anything to quit dancing and live a normal life but can't get away from her bf because she is terrified of him. We see each other while she's living with him when she's supposed to be working for a couple weeks. One night she calls me from her friends' house because he beat her and she ran away. I go over and lo and behold he has an outstanding warrant for domestic abuse from the last time he beat her. After some discussion I call the police and turn him in. The next day we grab all of her stuff and move her into my place. Her ex gets out of jail after 30 days, finds the place deserted and packs up his ** and moves to Texas. In the meantime we've been dating for 3 months and living together for about 2.5. She's confided in me that she used to be a herion addict, prostitute and literally a crackwhore. Oh well, she's passed that says self to self. Being the genius that you can clearly see I am by this point in the story I ask her to marry me. Surprise she says yes. So we elope without telling anyone in either of our families. Things are great, she doesn't dance anymore, we laugh, we have fun, all is well. Then her ex starts calling her and cursing her out all day long because he found out we got hitched. Her response is to start drinking and stop taking her medication. Things start to slip. For a time though he stops calling and she starts to get better. We go on vacation and all is well again, except she is still drinking and not taking her meds. We get back and he starts calling non-stop again. We get into a big fight about her talking to him and she packs up half her stuff and moves back home with her mother at month 4.5. Cliche anyone? At this point because we rushed so quickly we decide to slow down and start over with dating. Things are good, her family loves me, we are having fun. Then her best friend from childhood crashes at her moms one night and she does him in her mom's bathroom. I find out and flip out on her. I tell her I want a divorce and she says she wants to work things out. At this point her mom pulls me aside and tells me she's been talking to her ex, they fight a lot but they are talking. I confront her about this and she tells me he is a weirdo who keeps telling her he wants her to use a large strap-on toy on him (pegging) and she is just laughing at him. I again tell her I want a divorce and she relents. At this point her ex is coming home for Thanksgiving. I am helping her load more of her crap up to get out of my house and lo I find a giant strap on in the box in her trunk. Whatever. He comes back, screws her or gets screwed by her, beats her up and goes back to Texas. So at this point half her stuff is in my house along with her cats. We both agree a divorce is the way to go and we'll do a dissolution (no dividing of assets and no alimony which I really can't afford at this point). She tells me not to call her, text her, email her etc. I agree and abide. Now out of the blue she has been texting and calling me. Tonight she calls me and tells me how she got a call from a guy who stiffed her on a "job" she performed for him (see paragraph 4). He wanted to go out and she decides to go because her other "friend" will be there. Surprise she gets roofied and swears nothing happened but he is telling everyone something did. So I have to be polite and civil and listen to this in the hopes that I can keep her on the dissolution course. But why the is she talking to me about this crap? How can I make her stop? How do I get her ** and cats out of my damn house?

Author:	Müs [ Thu Dec 03, 2009 11:00 pm ]
Post subject:
Talk to her parents, tell them you are bringing the remainder of her stuff to them as well as her cats. Hop, you're too good a person to get treated like that. I can't imagine the pain and crap you've gone through.

Author:	Raell [ Thu Dec 03, 2009 11:01 pm ]
Post subject:
Lots of garbage bags my friend. Take the cats to a local shelter. Call her one last time to tell her where they are. Then change your phone number. You do not need this stuff.

Author:	Lydiaa [ Thu Dec 03, 2009 11:04 pm ]
Post subject:
The problem I assume is that she has not yet signed the papers? Is there a law in the US which says if you do not live with your partner for 2 years, you're officially divorced? If not, get her to sign something, or record something just incase she changes her mind later on. Also cats are easy to lose, especially if you have a slightly broken hinge on your door, or open windows. I know you don't have the money right now, but look into getting some free legal council so you'll at least know what your other options are.

Author:	Hopwin [ Thu Dec 03, 2009 11:05 pm ]
Post subject:
Good suggestions but she has the divorce over my head. Since her mom doesn't know we were living together or married she doesn't know I have her stuff and cats and if I tell her I obviously end up on "Serina's" **** list. Until I get paid I can't afford to file it then there will be the delay until the hearing. I reeeeallly cannot afford alimony.

The Glade 4.0 https://gladerebooted.net/

WTF is wrong with me!? (prolly nsfw) https://gladerebooted.net/viewtopic.php?f=7&t=1035	Page 1 of 6

Author:	DFK! [ Thu Dec 03, 2009 11:07 pm ]
Post subject:	Re:
Hopwin wrote: I reeeeallly cannot afford alimony. This is why I advocate all couples to get a pre-nup. I intend to.

Author:	shuyung [ Thu Dec 03, 2009 11:07 pm ]
Post subject:

Author:	Müs [ Thu Dec 03, 2009 11:14 pm ]
Post subject:
Hop, you've only been married what 6 months? There's no reason that a judge should award her any kind of alimony at all. There's no kids involved, and she's the one that's committed the infidelity and whatnot. Have a consult with a lawyer, I'm sure there are free legal aid people where you are. The best thing you can do is to talk with one in your area. Whether you end up on her **** list or not, you need to get her out of your life. Seriously.

Author:	Raell [ Thu Dec 03, 2009 11:20 pm ]
Post subject:
You tried to help her, I get it. Some people just can't live a normal life.

Author:	Hopwin [ Thu Dec 03, 2009 11:27 pm ]
Post subject:	Re:
Müs wrote: Hop, you've only been married what 6 months? There's no reason that a judge should award her any kind of alimony at all. There's no kids involved, and she's the one that's committed the infidelity and whatnot. Have a consult with a lawyer, I'm sure there are free legal aid people where you are. The best thing you can do is to talk with one in your area. Whether you end up on her **** list or not, you need to get her out of your life. Seriously. Some of her former "clients" are attornies. Also can anyone explain to me why she won't just leave me alone??

Author:	darksiege [ Thu Dec 03, 2009 11:29 pm ]
Post subject:
If you have proof of the infidelity, take it to the judge. Have your texts ready and have your cell phone company get you the transcripts of the phone conversations. Let that be the leverage over her. Those may not only be enough proof to get you out of any monetary payments to be made to her, but may also be enough to get the whole shebang anulled.

Author:	Lydiaa [ Thu Dec 03, 2009 11:41 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: WTF is wrong with me!? (prolly nsfw)
The below is a personal take on her intentions and should be taken without a grain of salt. Hop, first of all I'm going to assume that you're a decent guy who's sane. Based on that assumption and from what you've said in your post, the girl in question is needy, lacking self control and imho personal standards. You are prob the first beacon of light/warmth in her life for a long time. When she first saw this she clung to it like a leach, and that’s what she eventually become. You were her ticket out of everything she loathed. She was weak and she took what she initially valued for granted, you. She thought you were a push over (partially due to the quick marriage) and that you would never leave her seriously (this is usually exhibited by people who hit their spouse) like her ex. Of course she was wrong. Thinking that she wanted someone who would never leave her no matter what (even with the abuse) she went back to her ex, this was familiar territory she could deal with, rather than learning to deal with real relationship issues. (Usually those being dominated lose the ability to think for themselves even after they are released due to conditionings done by the abuser.) Now that she’s back in familiar territory, she once again realises how stupid she has being and wants you back. Thus the phone calls using the very same method she got you suckered in, in the first place… sympathy. Humans (especially males) tend to fall for those they can try to ‘fix’, it’s the whole damsel in distress thing which so many people (not limited to guys) find attractive. That is my take on her actions from my female point of view. <personal rant> While girls like that will find plenty of guys willing to take care of their baggage. I have problems finding a guy that would put up with half that crap sigh sulk whinge. </personal rant>

Author:	Raell [ Fri Dec 04, 2009 12:33 am ]
Post subject:	Re: Re:
Hopwin wrote: Also can anyone explain to me why she won't just leave me alone?? She thinks she can use you. That is all it is.

Author:	Taamar [ Fri Dec 04, 2009 12:47 am ]
Post subject:
Anullement. Drop her stuff and cats off at mom's place. Relocate.

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Author:	Micheal [ Fri Dec 04, 2009 1:07 am ]
Post subject:
Every time she calls you she is high. This is not a Hollywood movie with a semi-happy ending. Odds are she is still using and is mentally ill in ways you don't understand. I assume she is a drama queen on a regular basis? What Lydiaa, Raell, and Taamar said. All good, well accurate thoughts. What Mus and Darkseige said too. Stop with the rebounding stuff. Use this experience. Learn this lesson. Go see a doctor, get checked for everything you can think of. Tell him exactly what she is and what she has done. Are you still in nursing? You can move anywhere and get a job. Get some training in gerontology and you're set until you retire.

Author:	Raltar [ Fri Dec 04, 2009 2:59 am ]
Post subject:
I have this bad feeling you are going to get ** in the * hard before this is all over. It is a really, really shitty situation. I hope things turn out for the best, but I don't see this woman allowing that to happen.

Author:	Colphax [ Fri Dec 04, 2009 3:48 am ]
Post subject:
OK, so she has some former clients who are lawyers. All the more reason to talk to an attorney yourself BEFORE you file for anything...divorce/annullment/whatever. Find out what your options are first, then act on what you learn. Love yourself enough to do what you gotta do to be happy.

Author:	Hopwin [ Fri Dec 04, 2009 7:14 am ]
Post subject:	Re:
Micheal wrote: Every time she calls you she is high. This is not a Hollywood movie with a semi-happy ending. Odds are she is still using and is mentally ill in ways you don't understand. I assume she is a drama queen on a regular basis? What Lydiaa, Raell, and Taamar said. All good, well accurate thoughts. What Mus and Darkseige said too. Stop with the rebounding stuff. Use this experience. Learn this lesson. Go see a doctor, get checked for everything you can think of. Tell him exactly what she is and what she has done. Are you still in nursing? You can move anywhere and get a job. Get some training in gerontology and you're set until you retire. Thanks Michael, I got tested twice. Once when I found out she used to be a prostitute and once more when I found out what she was doing behind my back. I will follow-up again in six-months since sometimes it takes a while to become symptomatic. And yes she is the mother of all drama queens, but the sad thing is her drama is real and soul-withering and I am sick of dealing with the fall-out of her terrible terrible decisions. I was never a nurse, Amy was.

Author:	Hopwin [ Fri Dec 04, 2009 7:15 am ]
Post subject:	Re:
Taamar wrote: Anullement. Drop her stuff and cats off at mom's place. Relocate. In Ohio there are four grounds for annulment: Quote: The principal grounds for annulment are bigamy, marrying before the legal age of marriage, and the mental incapacity of one or both persons at the time of their marriage, or that the consent of either spouse to the marriage was obtained by fraud or force.

Author:	Ladas [ Fri Dec 04, 2009 9:28 am ]
Post subject:
That some of her former "clients" are attorneys means nothing, except that you could not hire one of those attorney's to represent you (conflict of interest). Whats more, not all attorneys have the background or practice to support the kinds of issues that will be addressed in this case. Just because those acquaintances are lawyers doesn't mean they know anything about family court or divorce. So that little tidbit should not influence your decision to get one yourself, and you need one. Secondly, divorce law varies greatly from state to state, and you need to know what the options and repercussions of each decision will be. Plus, your attorney will tell you to start documenting the content/time/etc these phone calls to build your case.

Author:	Hopwin [ Fri Dec 04, 2009 11:17 am ]
Post subject:
Sorry, let me be explicit. I cannot afford an attorney and she has many at her disposal who would do it... ah... "Pro-Bono"... At this point we both agree a dissolution is best which is where we both just walk away with no awards to either party. We retain the same propery, assets, etc. that we had coming in.

Author:	FarSky [ Fri Dec 04, 2009 11:19 am ]
Post subject:	Re:
Hopwin wrote: Sorry, let me be explicit. I cannot afford an attorney and she has many at her disposal who would do it... ah... "Pro-Bono"...

Author:	Screeling [ Fri Dec 04, 2009 12:44 pm ]
Post subject:
Out of curiosity, did you have any male friends trying to knock sense into you? We're all weak at some point or another. I'm thankful that God and friends have given me clarity at various times to see reason.

Author:	Taamar [ Fri Dec 04, 2009 12:58 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Re:
Hopwin wrote: Quote: The principal grounds for annulment are bigamy, marrying before the legal age of marriage, and the mental incapacity of one or both persons at the time of their marriage, or that the consent of either spouse to the marriage was obtained by fraud or force. Fraud can include dishonesty about ones past (sexual history, crime, illness, drug use), demonstrated lack of intent to remain faithful, or a secondary relationship that was never terminated. So... a druggie former prostitute who hadn't/couldn't break of with her ex and kept sleeping around and lying, married at a time when you were still bereaved. I'm pretty sure a case can be made for anullment. It's cheaper than divorce and means she can never have any legal claim on you.

Author:	Müs [ Fri Dec 04, 2009 1:16 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Re:
Taamar wrote: Hopwin wrote: Quote: The principal grounds for annulment are bigamy, marrying before the legal age of marriage, and the mental incapacity of one or both persons at the time of their marriage, or that the consent of either spouse to the marriage was obtained by fraud or force. Fraud can include dishonesty about ones past (sexual history, crime, illness, drug use), demonstrated lack of intent to remain faithful, or a secondary relationship that was never terminated. So... a druggie former prostitute who hadn't/couldn't break of with her ex and kept sleeping around and lying, married at a time when you were still bereaved. I'm pretty sure a case can be made for anullment. It's cheaper than divorce and means she can never have any legal claim on you. Taamar is wise.