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Parents vs Grandparents - I'm sure no one cares anymore.
https://gladerebooted.net/viewtopic.php?f=7&t=10746		 Page 1 of 1
Author:  Foamy [ Wed Feb 05, 2014 8:21 pm ]
Post subject:  Parents vs Grandparents - I'm sure no one cares anymore.
...But I thought I'd throw out an update anyway.

Christmas has come and passed marking the 1 year of my brother attacking me that morning. This event, Oonagh and I mark as the beginning of what has panned out since then.

I had ZERO communication with them for the great majority of the past year. I ignored each and every phone call from them and got out all of my feelings and frustrations to our Doctor who has helped me greatly. Her phone calls would consist of the same phrases:

"How long will this go on" "Your father can't handle this" "He's been in three car accidents (my fault, of course)" "We want to stop over and see the kids, or you can just drop them off or we can pick them up"

My birthday, Jan 15th, they show up at my door as we are on our way out shopping. I had little to say, but finally managed to try and tell them that I am indeed a happier person without them in my life, to which her response to me was "No, that can't be"

What I have realized this boils down to is one simple fact. I have never been able to feel as I do without them deciding against it. I have been told by them how to feel and my feeling of hate, sorrow, betrayal, have always been ignored.

Honestly, there is TONS more that I'd love to go on about here but trying to get it all out on the typed page is just too much for me. I have the benefit of a good wife who is now, and always has been there through the worst of this and we are able to share this with each other so we don't go mad with all of our thoughts on this. My Doctor has been invaluable as well as both a venting source and someone who has been able to validate how I have felt about them all my life.

They are now dead to me. I have no parents any longer and this changes my life in almost no way at all. They have been nothing to me for years and now it is all but official in Oonagh and my minds. The phone calls have trailed off significantly and unless the very hand of God touches her, there will be no reconciliation with my "mother" in my lifetime.

This is the end for now.

Thanks again for all of the support here through the years.
Author:  Micheal [ Wed Feb 05, 2014 8:59 pm ]
Post subject: 
While wishing for that miracle for your folks, it almost certainly will not happen in this life

I am happy you have moved forward, that you and Laura keep growing stronger together, and that your doctor has truly helped you get last the problems.

Hugs to all of you. If the future allows I would love to come visit you again someday.
Author:  Lenas [ Thu Feb 06, 2014 12:34 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Parents vs Grandparents - I'm sure no one cares anymore.
You guys should post more.
Author:  Jasmy [ Thu Feb 06, 2014 1:15 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Parents vs Grandparents - I'm sure no one cares anymore.
Keep hanging in there Foamy! It's too bad your mother and father can't come to grips with their shortcomings, but you and Oonagh and your children are better off without them in your life. I am so glad my parents weren't like yours.
Author:  Raell [ Thu Feb 06, 2014 2:37 am ]
Post subject: 
I would have moved away. Even if I just moved across town so they couldn't find me.
Author:  Corolinth [ Thu Feb 06, 2014 2:46 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Parents vs Grandparents - I'm sure no one cares anymore.
Leaving an abusive relationship with a parent is a difficult thing, because we're indoctrinated from birth to think our parents want what's best for us. Sometimes parents are genuinely malicious, and sometimes parents are simply mentally deranged. It is uncommon, but it does happen. I'm glad you've changed your life for the better, and are finding yourself happier. I know it hasn't been easy.
Author:  Elmarnieh [ Thu Feb 06, 2014 9:16 am ]
Post subject: 
Late is better than never man.
Author:  Squirrel Girl [ Thu Feb 06, 2014 10:01 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Parents vs Grandparents - I'm sure no one cares anymore.
Well done and congratulations.

This is difficult to do and I am quite impressed with you.
Author:  Aizle [ Thu Feb 06, 2014 10:46 am ]
Post subject: 
I'm glad that you've been able to find some peace in an overall crappy situation. Best of luck to you and your family.
Author:  Talya [ Thu Feb 06, 2014 3:40 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Parents vs Grandparents - I'm sure no one cares anymore.
Corolinth wrote:
Sometimes parents are genuinely malicious, and sometimes parents are simply mentally deranged.



I would argue that any parent who is genuinely malicious toward their children is already mentally deranged.

Seriously -- I don't have a choice how I feel about my children. It's a biological hardwired imperative to want what is best for your kids. Now, some parents will drive their children batty based on conflicting ideas of "what is best,", but any parent who is genuinely malicious, who does not automatically prioritize the wellbeing of their children, isn't wired the same way as the rest of our species. Hence, "Mentally derranged."
Author:  Lonedar [ Thu Feb 06, 2014 4:08 pm ]
Post subject: 
I'm sorry you have had, and continue to have, to deal with this at all, but am glad that you have been able to get yourself to a healthy place.
Author:  Diamondeye [ Fri Feb 07, 2014 7:30 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Parents vs Grandparents - I'm sure no one cares anymore.
Lenas wrote:
You guys should post more.


This! We miss you!
Author:  FarSky [ Sat Feb 22, 2014 9:43 am ]
Post subject: 
Glad to hear it, Foamy. Best.
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