Not sure what to say, except I'm sorry this happened to you. I just don't understand some women.
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| 18 years comes to an end https://gladerebooted.net/viewtopic.php?f=7&t=10814 |
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| Author: | Leshani [ Tue Mar 11, 2014 10:47 pm ] |
| Post subject: | 18 years comes to an end |
I don't have many places or ears to rant, Today 18 years of marriage came to end, I tried to to my best to keep it together to communicate to be part of everything that goes on, I don't know where the problems started money was up and down for many years, then things broke free, so It wasn't money at the end I know that. My work and hours and the dangerous projects I take on, maybe that was it I don't know, I was doing things far more dangerous when we met. if it's was time I wish I could answer that Vacations are always difficult for someone who runs there own company, I did the best I could. I know you don't care for one of my employees, but she's damn good at her job, She has project coordination and scheduling down to a fine science. yes I pay her well as I do everybody who works for me. I don't know where the fault started or what finally caused the fracture. Not sure where life leads from here |
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| Author: | Aethien [ Wed Mar 12, 2014 1:11 am ] |
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Wow, sorry, man. Best wishes for getting through this. Rant here all you like. |
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| Author: | Leshani [ Wed Mar 12, 2014 1:20 am ] |
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It's hard to do i never Stopped loving a wonderful woman I just don't understand what happened. forgive if my typing /grammar is jaccked up maybe a few too many tonight |
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| Author: | Aethien [ Wed Mar 12, 2014 1:24 am ] |
| Post subject: | |
That's hard, man. You do private security or something, right? Maybe from her perspective, it was like being married to a cop. Long hours, uncertainty, danger ... Just a thought. |
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| Author: | Jasmy [ Wed Mar 12, 2014 1:26 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: 18 years comes to an end |
Not sure what to say, except I'm sorry this happened to you. I just don't understand some women.
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| Author: | Jasmy [ Wed Mar 12, 2014 1:53 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: |
Aethien wrote: That's hard, man. You do private security or something, right? Maybe from her perspective, it was like being married to a cop. Long hours, uncertainty, danger ... Just a thought. I can't fathom a woman leaving her husband because of his job. My husband was on call for many, many years when he was a maintenance man at a school district. It could be very dangerous at times because he never knew what awaited him onsight when he was called out. There were a few times over the years when he had to open a school so the police could use it as a staging area in a hostage situation. You usually know what you are getting into when you marry and if you don't know you need to find out...if you can't handle it don't commit to a life-long marriage! /hugs Leshani |
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| Author: | Leshani [ Wed Mar 12, 2014 2:10 am ] |
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Aethien wrote: That's hard, man. You do private security or something, right? Maybe from her perspective, it was like being married to a cop. Long hours, uncertainty, danger ... Just a thought. I've done private security, not my forte, I'm an a rigger, I have have an EE , and strucraul engineering certs. I could sit behind a desk and draw blue prints and and plans all day long, but when I take a project I take personal involvement I turn wrenches I get just as dirty as any other man on my projects, I only like the weird and can this even be done type projects She always knew what I faced even the years I was walking and working high steel I built my own company that specializes in rigging and structural rigging it took 13 years to get where I'm at today, ups and downs in the process. I just don't know where things went wrong |
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| Author: | Raell [ Wed Mar 12, 2014 4:28 am ] |
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Some people, you just can't please. No matter what you do. I am sorry man. Stay out of the bottle, there are no answers there. Take care of yourself. |
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| Author: | Hopwin [ Wed Mar 12, 2014 7:55 am ] |
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/hugs man |
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| Author: | Elmarnieh [ Wed Mar 12, 2014 7:58 am ] |
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*hug* |
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| Author: | Serienya [ Wed Mar 12, 2014 9:31 am ] |
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Rant away. I'm sorry. We care. |
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| Author: | TheRiov [ Wed Mar 12, 2014 10:10 am ] |
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The best lessons I learned that kept my head above water during my divorce, I learned from martial arts. Rule 1: Just keep breathing. The first time I stepped into a sparring ring I did what everyone does-- I tensed. I held my breath. But that is, of course, the worst thing to do. I had to learn to force myself to breathe, to relax and let the things that are necessary for life happen--keep doing them even if it seems like the 'autopilot' they normally run on is disrupted. The same applies to divorce. Keep going to work. Keep breathing. Keep eating. Keep going to the grocery store. Make it through the next day. Then worry about the day after. Keep breathing. Rule 2: The first part the fight is defense. You're already hurt. Until you can assess what your limitations are, you can't strike out. That means keep yourself in check, resist striking out for an easy target, hoping the fight will end. That goes for relationships too. Myself included, its easy to go for a relationship with the wrong person because you want the pain to stop. Rebound relationships are incredibly intense, but ultimately destructive and sometimes harder to get over than the marriage itself. I have many more obviously but those two were the most immediate for me. |
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| Author: | Micheal [ Wed Mar 12, 2014 11:36 am ] |
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Condolences. Rant away, ask questions, talk to your lawyer. Try to make it as reasonable a parting as possible. Try not to lose your company in the process. Too many divorces end up enriching the lawyers and leaving the people getting divorced penniless or deep in debt. Hugs. |
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| Author: | Foamy [ Wed Mar 12, 2014 11:41 am ] |
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All the best to you. We're here for all your ranting needs. |
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| Author: | Leshani [ Wed Mar 12, 2014 3:01 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: 18 years comes to an end |
Well Met with my lawyer this morning (not fun when hung over) overall she's not asking for much, I get the house, cabin, rv and boat. She gets the vacation house in Rio Rico, her car, 50% of the retirement account, and 25% of the investment accounts no alimony, child support or anything like that. simple personal property split she wants 50/50 custody of my daughter equal parenting time. I have to maintain my daughters college fund but joint management of it(no big deal it's fully funded and she's an 4.0 advanced Honors student so she' probably going to get a free ride scholarship) Overall nothing really worth fighting about some money and such my daughter is gets to choose her course of residence as she see fit, both parents must maintain suitable residences in the school district for the duration. Any disputes over education or upbringing of my Daughter will be arbitrated by My Sister (works for me I trust her to do whats right) I'm still not sure what went wrong or why this is what she wants. sort of lost and confused, |
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| Author: | Lenas [ Wed Mar 12, 2014 5:23 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: 18 years comes to an end |
That honestly sounds like a pretty amicable breakup after so long. |
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| Author: | Squirrel Girl [ Wed Mar 12, 2014 7:51 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: 18 years comes to an end |
*hugs* Like people have said, come here to rant, vent or cry. We care. Open only if you are ready. Spoiler: |
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| Author: | Talya [ Wed Mar 12, 2014 8:46 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
Wow. I'm sorry. |
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| Author: | Leshani [ Wed Mar 12, 2014 10:10 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: 18 years comes to an end |
Squirrel Girl wrote: *hugs* Like people have said, come here to rant, vent or cry. We care. Open only if you are ready. Spoiler: I thought I heard her, she wanted my support, I gave it unconditionally, my heart my soul and yes my opinions. I spent many a night just listening to her issues at at work or what not that was on her mind. I could only offer my support and suggestions for those things. So I don't know did, I miss something? she would get on me about health minor health issues, and such luck that but I would go to the doctor if she wanted. Granted I have substantial hearing loss after prodding I did get it checked and did what I needed to do. She recently got promoted and transferred to a better position and location that is more suited to her skills. She no idiot she is very good at her Job she has a clientele that have followed her between companies and locations for years. So I don't know at this time what was missing or Wrong |
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| Author: | Leshani [ Wed Mar 12, 2014 10:18 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: 18 years comes to an end |
Lenas wrote: That honestly sounds like a pretty amicable breakup after so long. I guess it is, it's only money and a house that we own, and I've only been down there for a couple weekends in the past year. She was going down about every other month. Hell I've only been to the cabin twice in the last year None of that really matters I just don't understand |
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| Author: | Ulfynn [ Wed Mar 12, 2014 11:21 pm ] |
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ugh, hits close to home, as my life exploded thusly on Monday night. I have no words of wisdom. Only condolences. |
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| Author: | Leshani [ Thu Mar 13, 2014 2:59 am ] |
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I wish I could say something hopeful for you, but I can't. I look but back on my situation married for 18 years, partners for for 12 years before that. We been through hell and back over those years I have 2 daughters one 30 one 15, 2 grandsons. I'm lost and confused. I've never turned my back on any of them, There have been problems and issues over the years. but we always got through them. That's what makes this really hard for me, I love her. she knows everything there is to know about me. She supported every career move I made, and I supported her choices as well yes I do dangerous work quite frequently, not as much as I used to, Hell My Ad&d policy pays twice as much as my regular life. We had some rough times in many ways but always stood together through it all. I just don't understand the past 6 years have been great for both of us money wasn't an issue, My business has been building every year, her career has skyrocketed. She's offered no explanation to me as to why. I Just don't know |
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| Author: | Emer [ Thu Mar 13, 2014 1:25 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
Wow. I'm sorry to hear about this. I can't offer much than support and well wishes for the future. At least it sounds better than most divorces begin to proceed. |
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| Author: | Aizle [ Thu Mar 13, 2014 1:38 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: 18 years comes to an end |
Leshani wrote: I spent many a night just listening to her issues at at work or what not that was on her mind. I could only offer my support and suggestions for those things. It's only a gut feeling, but I suspect this might be it. The key part in the above sentence is "at work". My suspicion is that she's decided that she needs someone who is physically around more often. My condolences man, sorry things haven't worked out. |
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| Author: | Lenas [ Thu Mar 13, 2014 2:14 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: 18 years comes to an end |
I thought he was talking about issues she had with people at her work. |
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