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Whatever
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Author:  Taamar [ Fri Sep 11, 2009 12:19 am ]
Post subject:  Whatever
My ex-husband called me today... we separated in November '98 and finalized in February '01, so it's all old news between us. After a bit of chat he asks me if I mind signing paperwork for an annulment in the Catholic church so he could remarry (He and I never married in the church to begin with). I laughed a little and told him to go ahead and sign it for me and he said 'that would be dishonest'.

WTF? The way I see it he's telling me that a german dude in a funny hat and a dress who speaks for an invisible guy in the sky says that I have to sign something saying we were never really married (despite a civil ceremony and a child) or else his marriage to someone else doesn't count (despite a civil ceremony and two children), yet him signing my name with my permission is dishonest? The church essentially requires that he LIE about something that happened in order to move forward, making our son illegitimate in the eyes of the church in the process. Doesn't matter to ME (the Church says my kid is a bastard, and the tooth fairy says these jeans make my *** look fat. Meh.) but HE might care. The system just seems totally broken.
Author:  Lex Luthor [ Fri Sep 11, 2009 12:28 am ]
Post subject: 
The whole system is insane, Taamar. And I agree with you.
Author:  darksiege [ Fri Sep 11, 2009 12:31 am ]
Post subject: 
1- Fire the tooth fairy that visits your house.*

2- everything else.

*having never met you I cannot comment on physical appearance, but any tooth fairy who would insult a person when they are there to pick up teeth from little kids (is the ***** building a house from them?) has got to go.
Author:  Micheal [ Fri Sep 11, 2009 4:13 am ]
Post subject: 
This is one of those times where WIIFM might be worth pursuing.

If he wants to officially lie to the church to make a marriage that was never recognized by it anyway disappear and your mutual son be declared a bastard, what is in it for you? If it makes you feel weird agreeing to it, take whatever payment he agrees to and dump it into a college fund for your son, the bastard who now comes after any kids he might have in a marriage sanctioned by the church.

This is one of the areas of my church I truly despise. Selling indulgences to make the members feel better and raise funds. Moneychangers in the temple.

Bah.
Author:  Monte [ Fri Sep 11, 2009 11:36 am ]
Post subject: 
My gradfather tried to encourage my mother to do this some time ago, worried about her burning in eternal torment for the crime of being a fantastic mom left behind by a jerkwad.

I think I helped convince her otherwise.
Author:  Corolinth [ Fri Sep 11, 2009 11:54 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Whatever
This reminds me of a story my mother told me about her grandmother. Apparently my great-grandmother was once Catholic before she eloped. As she lay dying, a priest came to her and told her that if she signed these annulment papers that said her marriage to my great-grandfather never happened, she could be allowed into Heaven. She told the priest she'd rather burn in Hell with her husband, and invited the priest to join.
Author:  Squirrel Girl [ Fri Sep 11, 2009 12:13 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Whatever
The Roman Catholic church is epically messed up.

Depending on where one lives one can buy a dispensation. Just lie before God and community and pay your gold.

I was raised RC, have seen this, and had this particular stupidity cause damage in my life.
Author:  Talya [ Fri Sep 11, 2009 12:36 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Whatever
Taamar wrote:
My ex-husband called me today... we separated in November '98 and finalized in February '01, so it's all old news between us. After a bit of chat he asks me if I mind signing paperwork for an annulment in the Catholic church so he could remarry (He and I never married in the church to begin with). I laughed a little and told him to go ahead and sign it for me and he said 'that would be dishonest'.

WTF? The way I see it he's telling me that a german dude in a funny hat and a dress who speaks for an invisible guy in the sky says that I have to sign something saying we were never really married (despite a civil ceremony and a child) or else his marriage to someone else doesn't count (despite a civil ceremony and two children), yet him signing my name with my permission is dishonest? The church essentially requires that he LIE about something that happened in order to move forward, making our son illegitimate in the eyes of the church in the process. Doesn't matter to ME (the Church says my kid is a bastard, and the tooth fairy says these jeans make my *** look fat. Meh.) but HE might care. The system just seems totally broken.


Not to belittle your frustration, but this made my day. It's at truly wonderful story...
Author:  LadyKate [ Fri Sep 11, 2009 12:39 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Whatever
I wouldn't sign a damn thing.
Author:  Taamar [ Fri Sep 11, 2009 12:44 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Whatever
LadyKate wrote:
I wouldn't sign a damn thing.


Why not? I plan to have a chat with my son about it, but in general I can't see why signing it harms me in any way, and it's not like I have any desire to make Eric suffer (any more than he already does just by being Eric).
Author:  LadyKate [ Fri Sep 11, 2009 12:48 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Whatever
Because this
Quote:
The church essentially requires that he LIE about something that happened in order to move forward, making our son illegitimate in the eyes of the church in the process.
Would bother me.

You seem to have a very healthy attitude about it though, whereas I tend to let things like that get to me. I would write it off as not my problem anymore and they would have to figure out a way to go forward with their wedding without making me nullify our past.

Or maybe I need to mature a lil bit more? ;)
Author:  Taamar [ Fri Sep 11, 2009 12:52 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Whatever
LadyKate wrote:
Because this
Quote:
The church essentially requires that he LIE about something that happened in order to move forward, making our son illegitimate in the eyes of the church in the process.
Would bother me.

You seem to have a very healthy attitude about it though, whereas I tend to let things like that get to me. I would write it off as not my problem anymore and they would have to figure out a way to go forward with their wedding without making me nullify our past.


Ah, I see. I'd probably be bothered by it if I had any belief in the church at all... but the fact is that I consider it all a fictional construct, and so anything I sign is no more than cosplay to me. Hey, I'll sign this thing and we were never married! Can I sign one saying I'm an intergalactic bunny spy? How about Queen of the Universe, is there a form for that?
Author:  LadyKate [ Fri Sep 11, 2009 12:56 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Whatever
Hahahaha! Ok, see that makes more sense. I had a very religious upbringing and I guess I take those things a lil more seriously.
Author:  Müs [ Fri Sep 11, 2009 1:19 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Whatever
Taamar wrote:
How about Queen of the Universe, is there a form for that?


Ask Taly.
Author:  Stathol [ Fri Sep 11, 2009 1:28 pm ]
Post subject: 
Taamar wrote:
Hey, I'll sign this thing and we were never married! Can I sign one saying I'm an intergalactic bunny spy? How about Queen of the Universe, is there a form for that?


Image
Author:  darksiege [ Fri Sep 11, 2009 2:58 pm ]
Post subject: 
I know you seem cool with it. But I am sorry he is being such a cock when it comes to your little one.
Author:  Gorse [ Fri Sep 11, 2009 4:34 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Whatever
Taamar wrote:
Can I sign one saying I'm an intergalactic bunny spy? How about Queen of the Universe, is there a form for that?


Nothing about:

"All your pantz belong to me?"
"Emporer Queen of Pants."
"Owner of all things pants?"


I can't think of any more quick and silly ones. The intergalactic bunny spy made me laugh. Nice to see you are keeping your sense of humor. I'm sure it would be easy to do otherwise given the situation.
Author:  Tinimir [ Fri Sep 11, 2009 10:44 pm ]
Post subject: 
Let me clear up some misinformation. A Catholic annulment does not mean the marriage never existed it just means the marriage was not a sacramental marriage. The civil marrage is recognized by the Catholic church and children of an annuled marriage aren't fatherless or motherless. It only means the marriage wasn't a sacramental marriage.
Author:  Monte [ Fri Sep 11, 2009 11:33 pm ]
Post subject: 
I always suspected that you were an intergalactic bunny spy.
Author:  Taamar [ Sat Sep 12, 2009 12:59 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Whatever
Tinimir wrote:
Let me clear up some misinformation. A Catholic annulment does not mean the marriage never existed it just means the marriage was not a sacramental marriage. The civil marrage is recognized by the Catholic church and children of an annuled marriage aren't fatherless or motherless. It only means the marriage wasn't a sacramental marriage.


AHA! That makes a lot more sense!
Author:  Corolinth [ Sat Sep 12, 2009 9:35 am ]
Post subject: 
So it means your son was conceived in sin. You'll probably burn in Hell, but I think you were going to do that anyway. The important thing is, your ex-husband can be forgiven for remarrying, because he's not really remarrying in the eyes of God.
Author:  Taamar [ Sat Sep 12, 2009 12:44 pm ]
Post subject:  Re:
Corolinth wrote:
So it means your son was conceived in sin.


Oh yes. But I always knew that the Church wouldn't approve of THAT.
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