The Glade 4.0 :: View topic - Mortality and the recklessness of Youth

I realized something just now: I have a huge ego. Bigger than I ever knew. The story:

Spoiler:

I went snowboarding again this weekend. It was my fourth trip. I bought my own board because I got into so much. I am to the point where I'm comfortable on single blacks. Anyway, the last run of the night, I was going down one of the faster single blacks and got through it fine. I was to the part where it merges and becomes a blue. I have one of those reverse camber boards that are the new greatest thing. Basically, the board is bends slightly downward in the center rather than up like traditional boards and skis. This makes it easy to flick back and forth to turn, but it seems to reduce riding stability at speed and makes the thing "wander". What this results in is requiring full concentration to make sure you are tracking straight or that you are riding one edge of the other. Just like a traditional board, but with exaggerated effect.

I got lazy coming down the blue and dug the leading edge in (heels, I ride standard and was turning right). The next moment is lost to me but it consists of the a very fast snapping sensation, a loss of consciousness for an instant, replaced by the sensation of tumbling very violently and quickly along with a loud ringing in my ears that went on for about 10 seconds. As soon as my vision cleared and the feeling of being tossed in a dryer replaced my black out, my mind immediately became swirling morass of thoughts and memories, much like a confusing early waking phase after coming out of anesthesia or a very deep sleep. I have no clue how fast I was going ... maybe 30 or 40. No helmet. i r teh smarts

I got up after a moment and finished the last 50-100 yards. I went to the medics and was given an exam, told I had a mild grade I concussion. My ribs felt like someone kicked me. I was fine, headwise. Today, I went to the gym, despite the growing pain in my abs (right about the same rib I bruised two years prior taking a charge in the lane playing basketball) and started my leg day workout. Curiously about the extent of my pain, I did a pull-up. Positive was smooth and normal.

I lowered myself quickly.

Pop. Crunch. And rip. Wow, I felt that in my teeth.

I think I separated my rib the rest of the way. Being even more bullheaded, I finished my box jumps and did some leg press, skipping squats and dead lift for fear of further damage.

I just sat there in immobilized pain and realized that I'm going to have to nurse myself through about 10 days of training around the rib injury. Then I made an even more ghastly realization:

The reason I am so unhappy with myself is not that I got to walk away from an injury where I could have killed or paralyzed myself, but that I have to wait until the next time I get to do something stupid and reckless. I'm coming off a near hand fracture from punching someone in the forehead about 20 times and before that, a shoulder injury from crashing a motorcycle at 70 mph that I walked away from.

Why am I so selfish? The only things I could think about were my to-do list of reckless adventures for the rest of the year: skydiving, go to Australia to learn too surf, ride dirtbikes through treacherous no-mans land, another snowboard trip to Vermont in about a month, one at the end of the year in Colorado, getting on the mats a few times a week to do BJJ, racing waverunners in the Chesapeake.

There's no end to my recklessness. I'm swear, I'm not going to be happy until I meet die crashing a car or base jumping off an exploding bridge.

Author:	Rafael [ Sun Feb 21, 2010 7:31 pm ]
Post subject:	Mortality and the recklessness of Youth
I realized something just now: I have a huge ego. Bigger than I ever knew. The story: Spoiler: I went snowboarding again this weekend. It was my fourth trip. I bought my own board because I got into so much. I am to the point where I'm comfortable on single blacks. Anyway, the last run of the night, I was going down one of the faster single blacks and got through it fine. I was to the part where it merges and becomes a blue. I have one of those reverse camber boards that are the new greatest thing. Basically, the board is bends slightly downward in the center rather than up like traditional boards and skis. This makes it easy to flick back and forth to turn, but it seems to reduce riding stability at speed and makes the thing "wander". What this results in is requiring full concentration to make sure you are tracking straight or that you are riding one edge of the other. Just like a traditional board, but with exaggerated effect. I got lazy coming down the blue and dug the leading edge in (heels, I ride standard and was turning right). The next moment is lost to me but it consists of the a very fast snapping sensation, a loss of consciousness for an instant, replaced by the sensation of tumbling very violently and quickly along with a loud ringing in my ears that went on for about 10 seconds. As soon as my vision cleared and the feeling of being tossed in a dryer replaced my black out, my mind immediately became swirling morass of thoughts and memories, much like a confusing early waking phase after coming out of anesthesia or a very deep sleep. I have no clue how fast I was going ... maybe 30 or 40. No helmet. i r teh smarts I got up after a moment and finished the last 50-100 yards. I went to the medics and was given an exam, told I had a mild grade I concussion. My ribs felt like someone kicked me. I was fine, headwise. Today, I went to the gym, despite the growing pain in my abs (right about the same rib I bruised two years prior taking a charge in the lane playing basketball) and started my leg day workout. Curiously about the extent of my pain, I did a pull-up. Positive was smooth and normal. I lowered myself quickly. Pop. Crunch. And rip. Wow, I felt that in my teeth. I think I separated my rib the rest of the way. Being even more bullheaded, I finished my box jumps and did some leg press, skipping squats and dead lift for fear of further damage. I just sat there in immobilized pain and realized that I'm going to have to nurse myself through about 10 days of training around the rib injury. Then I made an even more ghastly realization: The reason I am so unhappy with myself is not that I got to walk away from an injury where I could have killed or paralyzed myself, but that I have to wait until the next time I get to do something stupid and reckless. I'm coming off a near hand fracture from punching someone in the forehead about 20 times and before that, a shoulder injury from crashing a motorcycle at 70 mph that I walked away from. Why am I so selfish? The only things I could think about were my to-do list of reckless adventures for the rest of the year: skydiving, go to Australia to learn too surf, ride dirtbikes through treacherous no-mans land, another snowboard trip to Vermont in about a month, one at the end of the year in Colorado, getting on the mats a few times a week to do BJJ, racing waverunners in the Chesapeake. There's no end to my recklessness. I'm swear, I'm not going to be happy until I meet die crashing a car or base jumping off an exploding bridge.

Author:	Lydiaa [ Sun Feb 21, 2010 8:17 pm ]
Post subject:
Dont worry Quote: go to Australia That alone will kill ya with all the snakes and spiders and drop bears... not to mention lazer sighted sharks... I know just the place hehe

Author:	Kirra [ Sun Feb 21, 2010 10:59 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Mortality and the recklessness of Youth
Raf....please don't wait to be lying in a hospital bed alive, yet paralyzed so you can't do anything for yourself. Take care of yourself so you can finish your bucket list! PS. I am a huge nag on this subject..

Author:	Micheal [ Sun Feb 21, 2010 11:11 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Mortality and the recklessness of Youth
Rafael wrote: I realized something just now: I have a huge ego. Bigger than I ever knew. The story: Spoiler: I went snowboarding again this weekend. It was my fourth trip. I bought my own board because I got into so much. I am to the point where I'm comfortable on single blacks. Anyway, the last run of the night, I was going down one of the faster single blacks and got through it fine. I was to the part where it merges and becomes a blue. I have one of those reverse camber boards that are the new greatest thing. Basically, the board is bends slightly downward in the center rather than up like traditional boards and skis. This makes it easy to flick back and forth to turn, but it seems to reduce riding stability at speed and makes the thing "wander". What this results in is requiring full concentration to make sure you are tracking straight or that you are riding one edge of the other. Just like a traditional board, but with exaggerated effect. I got lazy coming down the blue and dug the leading edge in (heels, I ride standard and was turning right). The next moment is lost to me but it consists of the a very fast snapping sensation, a loss of consciousness for an instant, replaced by the sensation of tumbling very violently and quickly along with a loud ringing in my ears that went on for about 10 seconds. As soon as my vision cleared and the feeling of being tossed in a dryer replaced my black out, my mind immediately became swirling morass of thoughts and memories, much like a confusing early waking phase after coming out of anesthesia or a very deep sleep. I have no clue how fast I was going ... maybe 30 or 40. No helmet. i r teh smarts I got up after a moment and finished the last 50-100 yards. I went to the medics and was given an exam, told I had a mild grade I concussion. My ribs felt like someone kicked me. I was fine, headwise. Today, I went to the gym, despite the growing pain in my abs (right about the same rib I bruised two years prior taking a charge in the lane playing basketball) and started my leg day workout. Curiously about the extent of my pain, I did a pull-up. Positive was smooth and normal. I lowered myself quickly. Pop. Crunch. And rip. Wow, I felt that in my teeth. I think I separated my rib the rest of the way. Being even more bullheaded, I finished my box jumps and did some leg press, skipping squats and dead lift for fear of further damage. I just sat there in immobilized pain and realized that I'm going to have to nurse myself through about 10 days of training around the rib injury. Then I made an even more ghastly realization: The reason I am so unhappy with myself is not that I got to walk away from an injury where I could have killed or paralyzed myself, but that I have to wait until the next time I get to do something stupid and reckless. I'm coming off a near hand fracture from punching someone in the forehead about 20 times and before that, a shoulder injury from crashing a motorcycle at 70 mph that I walked away from. Why am I so selfish? The only things I could think about were my to-do list of reckless adventures for the rest of the year: skydiving, go to Australia to learn too surf, ride dirtbikes through treacherous no-mans land, another snowboard trip to Vermont in about a month, one at the end of the year in Colorado, getting on the mats a few times a week to do BJJ, racing waverunners in the Chesapeake. There's no end to my recklessness. I'm swear, I'm not going to be happy until I meet die crashing a car or base jumping off an exploding bridge. Rafael, you aren't the first nor will you be the last egotistical and selfish young man. When I was your age I was attending the funerals of young and stupid idiots at least twice a year. I was truly surprised when my brothers both survived their twenties. Please, learn from other people's mistakes. I learned that you could break your hand by hitting someone in the jaw. My jaw ached for a week. This happened more than once. Both bartenders watching these events, in different years, laughed, then 86'd the guy that hit me and bought me a drink. You don't have to go to Australia to learn to surf, in fact I would recommend learning in California, maybe down in the Carolinas or Florida. If you come to California to learn to surf, don't do it at the Mavericks. Save that for when you can back up that ego. Wear all your safety gear while dashing recklessly around on dirt bikes, please. Make a rule that just one more snow boarding run when know you are already tired is one run too many. Live to make many more runs rather than die on that one.

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