Just tell them to go **** themselves, most people drop the "too nice" excuse after that.
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| Too Nice https://gladerebooted.net/viewtopic.php?f=7&t=197 |
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| Author: | Ienan [ Wed Sep 16, 2009 7:33 am ] |
| Post subject: | Too Nice |
I'm sick of being told this. You don't know me. And even if you made an effort to, you may find out that being "nice" has led me to a decent life. In addition, when a woman says this it's just another word for "weakness." It means you're a pushover, a non-alpha male. Ironically, it's this same guy who will marry you, because you'll find out "nice" and alpha male aren't necessarily mutually exclusive. I feel I'm becoming more misogynistic as I get older and learn more about woman, and I don't like it. |
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| Author: | Jeryn [ Wed Sep 16, 2009 8:35 am ] |
| Post subject: | |
In related news, my guess is that far too many people think that humility and confidence are mutually exclusive character traits. They're not. Stick to your guns. |
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| Author: | Monte [ Wed Sep 16, 2009 9:08 am ] |
| Post subject: | |
What Jeryn said. A man should be confident, even powerful in the way they carry themselves and interact with others. But humility is a virtue that is largely lost on our current society. Kindness should be done quietly, sincerely, and followed through on. It should not be trumpeted. A great example is the character of D'artangan as portrayed in The Man in the Iron Mask. Strong, confident, utterly kind, and loyal. |
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| Author: | Aizle [ Wed Sep 16, 2009 11:13 am ] |
| Post subject: | |
Ienan, remind yourself of this FACT. Women who say that you're too nice aren't women that you're going to want to associate with anyway. They are in fact doing you a favor by saying this and saving you the heartache of getting attached before figuring out they aren't for you. The right woman is out there, sometimes they just take a while to find. |
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| Author: | Monte [ Wed Sep 16, 2009 12:17 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
Or, she's just not that into you. Sometimes "you're too nice" is just her way of distancing herself in what she believes to be a kind way. And that doesn't mean there's something wrong with you, it just means it didn't click for her. |
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| Author: | damaged [ Wed Sep 16, 2009 1:05 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
Just tell them to go **** themselves, most people drop the "too nice" excuse after that.
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| Author: | LadyKate [ Wed Sep 16, 2009 1:17 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Too Nice |
Aizle and Monte are right on I think. Ienan, I dumped my husband twice before I agreed to marry him because I thought he was "too nice" and not the "alpha male" I was used to dating. Fortunately, he was persistent enough, and I was wise enough to realize how very very wrong I was! I had spent so many years dating pricks, I didn't know what a nice guy entailed. Essentially, I was looking for another jerk and brushing off a wonderful guy and I didn't even realize what I was doing. Why? Best way to put what I learned was its like going to only rock concerts and having a constant rush of adrenaline and your eardrums blown all the time with the loud music...well, maybe the first couple of times you go to a classical or jazz ensemble you may see it as "boring" and not be able to fully appreciate it for what it is. I guess what I'm trying to say is, there is probably nothing wrong with you so don't sweat it. The nice guy vs jerk "alpha" male thing is something that a lot of women need to learn the hard way. In the meantime, don't take it personally if someone says you are "too nice." She probably has some maturing to do. The right woman will come along eventually. Hang in there and be yourself. |
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| Author: | Ienan [ Wed Sep 16, 2009 2:14 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Too Nice |
I don't disagree with any of you. The problem I've had is I hear it from women in their low 30's all the way down to women in their low 20's. I hear it regularly, from all types of women. So you may say I don't want to meet those women, but it's a lot of women. It may be because they're not that into me, but after talking to many woman of all ages, they all claim they want a "man with edge." This is why my view of women was lowered recently. They're associating dominance with "edge." Well, that's just not who I am. It doesn't mean I'll take **** either, though. I'm not a pushover. I'm incredibly opinionated and stubborn (character flaws admittedly). Maybe I should take LadyKate's advice and push harder, but this is the part when I get too passive usually. And admittedly, passivity can be associated with weakness. |
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| Author: | Amdee [ Wed Sep 16, 2009 3:59 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
"Edgy" means they'll cheat on you and then blame you for it because you wouldn't cave into their alpha crap and they feel threatened. They being the guys. |
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| Author: | Screeling [ Wed Sep 16, 2009 4:03 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
I've always been cocky and it's always worked. When I'm in a relationship is when I tone it down. My advice: Don't listen to what chicks tell you because they don't know what the crap they want (as evidenced by LK's admission). Do what it takes to get the date. Then start showing them the real you. I never had a chick complain they wished I was more like the cocky guy that originally asked them out. Edit: I knew a couple nice guys in church that were "persistent." Chicks thought they were creepy. |
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| Author: | Elmarnieh [ Wed Sep 16, 2009 4:06 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
Chicks don't know what they want. Women do (but it changes each Plank time). |
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| Author: | Screeling [ Wed Sep 16, 2009 4:10 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: |
Elmarnieh wrote: Chicks don't know what they want. Women do (but it changes each Plank time). That's bullcrap too. |
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| Author: | Rafael [ Wed Sep 16, 2009 4:17 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
Neither chicks or women know **** about what they want. But this extends to men as well, so you can say people in general don't know **** about what they want. This is readily evident by the typical person you encounter who can be infatuated with results that demonstrate power and achievement, but no respect for the actual actions behind such achievement. In short, women want a rich man who doesn't have to sacrifice to get there, a talented man who didn't have to hone his gifts to get there, a guy who will treat them well, but isn't nice. It's the gross inability to respect the untold side of the story and see only the ending that causes this. My advice: win the lottery, live like a Rap Music video and try set a new world record for slinging facials on the most number of ***** on your yacht. Other than that, live with the bittersweet inevitability that this type entitled sense of personality is what our country has become overly proficient in breeding. |
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| Author: | Diamondeye [ Wed Sep 16, 2009 4:30 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Too Nice |
When they claim you're too nice, tell them to **** off. They aren't going to change their minds anyhow, so why not prove them wrong? In any case, there's 2 reasons women say this (disregarding completely disfunctional people): It's an excuse because they just aren't interested They want to date an ******* so they can feel they are in the right when they break up. Don't be persistent with a given woman, be persistent with women in general. Just accept that a woman who likes "nice" is like to to BE nice, possibly fairly old-fashioned. As for women thinking men are "creepy", that's usually a holdover from the teenage attitude of "any guy that likes me when I don't like him must be a wierdo". Some women think they have the right to turn another person's feelings on and off, as if "no means no" applies to your head too. |
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| Author: | Elmarnieh [ Wed Sep 16, 2009 4:31 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Re: |
Screeling wrote: Elmarnieh wrote: Chicks don't know what they want. Women do (but it changes each Plank time). That's bullcrap too. I've yet to see evidence to the contrary. |
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| Author: | Ienan [ Wed Sep 16, 2009 5:56 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Too Nice |
Okay, I think I vented today. I don't think I want to leave what I left up anymore. I've calmed down a bit. I'm just frustrated with parts of life recently. |
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| Author: | Lex Luthor [ Fri Sep 18, 2009 12:24 am ] |
| Post subject: | |
Just do whatever the **** you want. Live like a little kid. Treat other people like they're little kids. Say what comes to your mind. |
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| Author: | Lex Luthor [ Fri Sep 18, 2009 12:27 am ] |
| Post subject: | |
All evidence shows that you need to live in your own reality and not up to other people's expectations. You need to fully express yourself and that's what's attractive. |
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| Author: | Lex Luthor [ Fri Sep 18, 2009 12:31 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: |
Elmarnieh wrote: Chicks don't know what they want. Women do (but it changes each Plank time). Women don't know what they want at all. They need powerful people to pull their strings and lead them around... that's what turns them on. |
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| Author: | Lex Luthor [ Fri Sep 18, 2009 12:36 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Too Nice |
Diamondeye wrote: Don't be persistent with a given woman, be persistent with women in general. Just accept that a woman who likes "nice" is like to to BE nice, possibly fairly old-fashioned. I disagree. Be persistent with anyone you want to be persistent with... it's really that simple. Live and learn. Personal growth always results. I believe that there never is a too far. However, a difficult woman will always remain difficult, and you need to keep this in mind. Quote: As for women thinking men are "creepy", that's usually a holdover from the teenage attitude of "any guy that likes me when I don't like him must be a wierdo". Some women think they have the right to turn another person's feelings on and off, as if "no means no" applies to your head too. Very true. Women think that they get to define what is socially acceptable with the use of the word "creepy". Interestingly, the most successful guys at attracting girls simply... don't... care. |
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| Author: | Lex Luthor [ Fri Sep 18, 2009 12:39 am ] |
| Post subject: | |
Also... the best and truest advice... talk to lots and lots of women and you will happen upon the right one. |
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| Author: | Taamar [ Fri Sep 18, 2009 3:34 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Too Nice |
When considering relationship, please remember the source. The best advice you will get comes from those with experience and functional relationships. Who in this thread has that? |
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| Author: | Vindicarre [ Fri Sep 18, 2009 3:58 am ] |
| Post subject: | |
Ienan, keep being yourself with the women. |
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| Author: | Screeling [ Fri Sep 18, 2009 9:50 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Too Nice |
Taamar wrote: When considering relationship, please remember the source. The best advice you will get comes from those with experience and functional relationships. Who in this thread has that? /raises his hand. I also had a very active dating life. |
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| Author: | Lex Luthor [ Fri Sep 18, 2009 9:53 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: |
Vindicarre wrote: Ienan, keep being yourself with the women. QFT x 1000 I agree. Just be a really genuine person... as in be your true self. And don't be scared to talk to strangers. |
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