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Tired of other people bossing my son around
https://gladerebooted.net/viewtopic.php?f=7&t=2459		 Page 1 of 1
Author:  LadyKate [ Wed Mar 31, 2010 6:53 am ]
Post subject:  Tired of other people bossing my son around
Ok, trivial I know. Petty even. But its indicative of a larger problem and it bothers me.

My son was getting ready for school this morning and after his shower he started tying a do-rag on his head and I made him take it off. He said "but mom! The bus driver said that if my hair was wet then I HAVE to have a hat on!" and I replied that the bus driver was not his mother, its 60 degrees outside, and the do-rag would flatten his hair as it dried (he has ringlet-curly BEAUTIFUL blonde hair) now take it off! He said he would get in trouble and get written up. I told him that if that happens to tell the bus driver to talk to me.
When the bus pulled up I stood in the doorway waiting for him to get on the bus...watched him get on, the bus driver stop him to talk and then the bus driver leaned out of her window, and in that sickeningly sweet southern drawl that one only uses when they are trying to be stern and diplomatic at the same time, she hollers while smiling "you better PUT a hat on my baby head!" and I yell back in the same tone and smile "no, he doesn't need one!" and again she hollers "you better PUT a hat on my sweet baby head!" and again I tell her that he's fine. After the third time of her yelling this I tell her that the weather is warm, his hair will get flat, it needs to air dry and he doesn't need to wear a hat. Conceding in typical southern fashion, she politely mentions something about her nephew having the same type of hair and maybe thats why his hair is flat and smiles and waves and drives off.

If I want my son to wear a hat, he will wear a hat. I don't need everyone in the school system including the bus driver telling me what to do with my child.
Author:  Diamondeye [ Wed Mar 31, 2010 8:58 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Tired of other people bossing my son around
You need to call the school and speak to the principle. This "my baby head" ting indicates that the bus driver is just inventing her own rules, and most likely thinks that because you're a young-looking woman she can tell you what to do just by virtue of being older.
Author:  LadyKate [ Wed Mar 31, 2010 9:11 am ]
Post subject: 
Yeah, I'm not too happy about it. My son mentioned this morning that his teacher grabbed his arm the other day and when he said that it hurt, she said oh I hardly even touched you. His voice almost cracked he was about to cry just telling me about it.
I told him that if the teacher lays a hand on him again he needs to tell her to stop...he said he would get sent to the principals office "for being sassy." I told him that they have no right to touch him and he would not get in trouble, they would.
I called and talked to the principal about the arm thing....she was very concerned and asked me to talk to my son about it when he got home from school to find out the circumstances because she said teachers are allowed to grab a child in order to prevent them from hurting themselves or others and to get them back in line, but the intention is not to hurt them.
I know his teacher and I like her, but I don't think that when a child says you hurt them you should downplay that.
Author:  Rorinthas [ Wed Mar 31, 2010 11:49 am ]
Post subject: 
Be thankful for justification of your previous education related line of thinking.
Author:  Diamondeye [ Wed Mar 31, 2010 2:21 pm ]
Post subject:  Re:
LadyKate wrote:
Yeah, I'm not too happy about it. My son mentioned this morning that his teacher grabbed his arm the other day and when he said that it hurt, she said oh I hardly even touched you. His voice almost cracked he was about to cry just telling me about it.
I told him that if the teacher lays a hand on him again he needs to tell her to stop...he said he would get sent to the principals office "for being sassy." I told him that they have no right to touch him and he would not get in trouble, they would.
I called and talked to the principal about the arm thing....she was very concerned and asked me to talk to my son about it when he got home from school to find out the circumstances because she said teachers are allowed to grab a child in order to prevent them from hurting themselves or others and to get them back in line, but the intention is not to hurt them.
I know his teacher and I like her, but I don't think that when a child says you hurt them you should downplay that.


I'd be more careful with this one, since you weren't actually there. Kids like to give out only the facts that are favorable to them when relaying stories. As to "downplaying" it, your son already admitted hat all she did was grab his arm. Kids do like to pretend things hurt when they really don't. It's one of the main ways they manipulate adults into supporting them in arguments with other kids. Even adults do this all the time; screaming theatrically if they get handcuffed or something like that.
Author:  LadyKate [ Wed Mar 31, 2010 2:47 pm ]
Post subject: 
Ror, that was exactly what I was thinking. DE, I'm aware of that, but I wouldn't be a good parent if I didn't investigate my son's complaints.
Author:  Rynar [ Wed Mar 31, 2010 2:47 pm ]
Post subject: 
I went to a Catholic high school, and a good half of my teachers were Brothers and nuns, many from an older school of though when it came to parochial discipline. On several occasions I was actually hit by teachers. If I had gone home and told my parents that one of the teachers had hit me, I'd have gotten in even more trouble at home than I did in school for my infaction as I had done something bad enough to warrant being hit, and my parents likely would have called the teacher to thank them.
Author:  Diamondeye [ Wed Mar 31, 2010 3:17 pm ]
Post subject:  Re:
LadyKate wrote:
Ror, that was exactly what I was thinking. DE, I'm aware of that, but I wouldn't be a good parent if I didn't investigate my son's complaints.


That's my point. You should investigate, not take them at face value.
Author:  readd skarlett [ Wed Mar 31, 2010 3:37 pm ]
Post subject:  Re:
Rynar wrote:
I went to a Catholic high school, and a good half of my teachers were Brothers and nuns, many from an older school of though when it came to parochial discipline. On several occasions I was actually hit by teachers. If I had gone home and told my parents that one of the teachers had hit me, I'd have gotten in even more trouble at home than I did in school for my infaction as I had done something bad enough to warrant being hit, and my parents likely would have called the teacher to thank them.



I had similar experiences in school growing up and my parents would react the same way...personally, I think that's what's wrong with kids these days...parents not disciplining enough...not saying this is the case with your son Kate...

I'd investigate as well...I also know your son isn't very old so I doubt he's be embelishing or lying about what happened.

Now the bus driver, I'd be out there the next morning, and give her a piece of my mind when she picked your son up...but that's just me. I hate when people try to tell me how to handle my kids....like they know better or something.
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