The Glade 4.0

Why oh why can't I get sick during the workweek like a normal human being? Why does my body decide that weekends and special occasions are the only acceptable time to succumb to illness? So it's a nice three-day weekend, which also happens to be our second anniversary...and that's when Phe's con crud from last week's anime convention decides to strike me down? Bah. When we purchase a new house up here, I want to install a decontamination room.

Also, Mr. Gamestop salesguy? Shut. the ****. up. First of all, the only reason we wandered into your overpriced pawn store is because it had the good fortune of being a conflux of the following: A) in the mall in which we were killing time until we got ready to eat dinner, B) right across from the MacAuthority, which we'd already exhausted, and C) not a women's clothing store. Let me edumacate you on something that apparently no one ever bothered to tell you. You, as a salesperson, greet customers with "Hey, welcome to Gamestop, is there anything I can help you find today?" This is fine. But when the customer replies "No, we're just looking, thanks," SHUT. THE ****. UP. That is universal customer-ese for "SHUT. THE ****. UP." That is not an invitation to open discussion. That is not an opportunity for you to ask "Well, what game system do you have?" But for your information, I have an Xbox 360, a PlayStation 3, a Nintendo Wii, a Sony PSP, a Nintendo DSi XL, the PS3 is a backward-compatible model so I effectively have a PS2 and PS1 as well, I have an original Xbox, and the Wii is backward compatible too, so I've still technically got a Gamecube. "Oh, so you've got most of 'em." Well, no, ****, I have all of them, in point of fact. But you're apparently going on, so what matters specificity? "What kind of games do you have for them?" /facepalm I have a lot of games I enjoy. And now I'm going to move away from you, which I was already trying to do, but the damn store was crowded.

OH **** YOU STOP FOLLOWING ME. "I see, I see...so have you played this game? It's awesome, brah! It's called Red Dead Redemption, and I'm going to natter on for another five minutes about how it's the most awesomest of all games because it's like Grand Theft Auto 4, so it's like so awesome, and it's set the in wild west, and..." That's nice. I don't want that game. Thank you anyway. "Well, let me go on for another five minutes about why it's so awesome, even though you just explicitly stated that you aren't interested..."

OMFG. SHUT UP. SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP.

Listen, I don't want to pull some "original gamer" card on you. I really don't. Just because you're newer to my hobby than I am doesn't make your experiences with it any less valid. But dammit, just stop. Stop trying to tell me my tastes. Stop trying to act like you know the first damn thing about gaming. I hate to employ stereotypes, but in most cases, they're grounded in probability. So based on my experience, you're some college dropout/frat boy who found one of the thousand iterations of Halo and decided that playing a shooter on a console somehow granted you the ability to know the first **** thing about video games, and therefore entitled you to a job in a GameStop. You're the kind of ******* who can't figure out if the controllers I brought in to trade were for the Xbox or the Playstation. You're the kind of idiot who thinks gaming began with Madden and the high point of your gaming experiences was running over hookers in Grand Theft Auto III.

There's not a damn thing wrong with any of the games I've mentioned above, but dammit...I've been doing this since I was a little brat playing on a borrowed Atari. I've owned the SEGA Master System, the SEGA Genesis, the original spinach-colored, brick-sized GameBoy, the Game Gear, and the Nomad. I have known true hatred for a dog who finds it funny that you missed your shot at a flying duck. I was there for the Nintendo 64's revolutionary and incredibly **** controller. I shook my head and tried to clear my vision from hours of play on the Virtual Boy. I've seen Dream(cast)s shattered, Jaguars poached, and Mario and Sonic go from being the bitterest of rivals to co-starring in crappy Winter Olympic games. I know a hell of a lot more about my tastes than you do, and I'd be willing to bet I know a hell of a lot more about video games in general.

So stop trying to push on me your Rockstar games, your generic shooters, and anything whose title begins with "Tom Clancy." I. will not. like them. To each his own, and these games are simply not my cup of tea. And when I tell you this, and you persist, you should know that you've just lost a sale. For as soon as I am able to extricate myself from this conversation, I am leaving your store and purchasing whatever I want online. It's not as fast, but it's cheaper, and I don't have to deal with douchebags like you.

Look, I'm a geek. I know I'm a geek, and I'm proud of that fact. And I wear it pretty openly. When I walk into your store wearing a vintage Gremlins T-shirt, it should be pretty apparent that I'm not someone dipping my toes in geek waters. Treat me with a little **** respect, please...it'll go a long way toward your bottom line.

But...

Dude...

Have you SEEN this game?!

Just don't end up in the ICU during the weekend...
http://www.reuters.com/article/idUSTRE6 ... 22&sp=true

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It's been indicated that stress and illness are linked.

Your problem, Farskee, is that you love your job too much. The reason all the rest of us succumb over the work week is because we loathe our jobs and our jobs drain that little drop of energy that was the last thing holding off the looming illness.

Your job, however, doesn't, and so you hang on just that little bit longer to make it to the weekend.

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"Aaaah! Emotions are weird!" - Amdee
"... Mirrorshades prevent the forces of normalcy from realizing that one is crazed and possibly dangerous. They are the symbol of the sun-staring visionary, the biker, the rocker, the policeman, and similar outlaws." - Bruce Sterling, preface to Mirrorshades

Murphy's Law, FarSky...my friend can always tell when it's time to go back to work, because they will be having sunshine and blue skies the whole 7 days he's at work!

By the way...Happy Anniversary to you and Pheona!!

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"Said I never had much use for one, never said I didn't know how to use one!"~ Matthew Quigley

"nothing like a little meow in bed at night" ~ Bruskey

"I gotta float my stick same as you" Hondo Lane

"Fill your hand you son of a *****!"

I don't loathe my job, but I do loathe my squadron, wing, the organization I've been loaned to and this incredibly shitty Army base I've been stuck at. Over the 14 years I've been in the AF I've missed 1.5 days total to illness because I only get sick on leave or weekends so I can feel your pain.

This is so full of win it's bursting at the seams.

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"There's a family with kids. Do the kids and make the mother watch. Tell her you'll stop if she can hold back her tears. I *owe* her that."
--Grace Margaret Mulligan

"WELL GO GET IT!"
--Malcolm McDowell to me, in what was the most terrifying experience of my life

Don't retail stores instruct their employees to shadow customers who are "just looking" in order to prevent shoplifting? I could have sworn reading about that at some point.

At Gamestop that is pointless; even on a brand **** new game the douchebags have the case empty and behind the counter. This point of contention has led to the Great Video Game Schism on the Glade here before, in regards to the asshattery which is Gamestop selling even a brand new game unsealed.

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Darksiege
Traveller, Calé, Whisperer
Lead me not into temptation; for I know a shortcut

Mr. Sky:

I feel your pain.

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oh.. thanks for that walk down memory lane Farsky.. it was awesome.