Heh...on a similar note, this was the winner in yesterday's Cracked contest (for "If Movie Titles Were Honest..."):
| The Glade 4.0 https://gladerebooted.net/ |
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| Tom Cruise is an *******. https://gladerebooted.net/viewtopic.php?f=7&t=3485 |
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| Author: | Nevandal [ Thu Jul 15, 2010 1:28 am ] |
| Post subject: | Tom Cruise is an *******. |
I just saw "The Last Samurai" for the first time. I'll be in the bathroom for a week showering with lye and gargling with bleach to get the bad taste out... |
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| Author: | Screeling [ Thu Jul 15, 2010 8:19 am ] |
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I dug that movie. Probably not so historically accurate but was still enjoyable. |
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| Author: | Lex Luthor [ Thu Jul 15, 2010 8:37 am ] |
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In all seriousness, Tom Cruise is one of my favorite actors. |
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| Author: | Rynar [ Thu Jul 15, 2010 8:39 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Tom Cruise is an *******. |
Nevandal wrote: I'll be in the bathroom for a week showering with lye and gargling with bleach to get the bad taste out... You probably just have an abnormally high thetan count. Have you gone for an audit recently? |
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| Author: | Lex Luthor [ Thu Jul 15, 2010 8:49 am ] |
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When I was in the psychiatric hospital, I thought that lots of thetans were in my head and I could hear them talking. |
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| Author: | Diamondeye [ Thu Jul 15, 2010 9:34 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Tom Cruise is an *******. |
I don't care much for Tom Cruise, but I did like that movie. Of course, I didn't go to it expecting that a movie with a white guy as the Last Samurai would be anything but absurd. |
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| Author: | FarSky [ Thu Jul 15, 2010 9:52 am ] |
| Post subject: | |
Heh...on a similar note, this was the winner in yesterday's Cracked contest (for "If Movie Titles Were Honest..."):
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| Author: | Nevandal [ Thu Jul 15, 2010 10:23 am ] |
| Post subject: | |
Say what you will about Tom Cruise, but he is a great actor...in fact, I love a lot of his movies. Minority Report kicks ***. But he was the wrong choice for this movie. Way wrong. At first, I was a little concerned because only Japanese can be Samurai, but they made it work in the story and I quickly forgave them....but then I realized he's too cocky to play a character that should be honorable. I also thought the relationship between him and the wife was tacky, and the line at the end about the perfect flower was way too heavy handed and cheesy. Ugh. EDIT: not to mention I already heard that soundtrack before, in Gladiator, and Pirates of the Carribean. Hans Zimmer is a jackass. |
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| Author: | Müs [ Thu Jul 15, 2010 11:18 am ] |
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The Last Samurai was epic. And so was the soundtrack. Hans Zimmer is a god. |
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| Author: | Nevandal [ Thu Jul 15, 2010 11:39 am ] |
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It looks like he knows how to press your easy button. Lol. |
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| Author: | Taamar [ Thu Jul 15, 2010 11:51 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: |
Nevandal wrote: Say what you will about Tom Cruise, but he is a great actor...in fact, I love a lot of his movies. Minority Report kicks ***. I disagree... he does an amazing job of playing Tom Cruise and has done so in every movie he's ever been in, but I've never seen him immerse in a character enough to let go of his Tom Cruise-ness. "Tom Cruise as white man samurai", "Tom Cruise as Jerry Maguire", "Tom Cruise as Lestat". That doesn't mean he's not enjoyable, but it makes him something other than an actor. He's actually like the old move stars, John Wayne was the same way. Compare this to, say Gary Oldman who can convincingly play Sid Vicious, a vampire, a rogue wizard, or an evil futuristic overlord with a southern accent without being 'Gary Oldman' in every role. |
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| Author: | Nevandal [ Thu Jul 15, 2010 12:14 pm ] |
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I agree, though...but I still like Minority Report. War of the Worlds was pretty ok too. 
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| Author: | darksiege [ Thu Jul 15, 2010 12:15 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Re: |
Taamar wrote: I disagree... he does an amazing job of playing Tom Cruise and has done so in every movie he's ever been in, but I've never seen him immerse in a character enough to let go of his Tom Cruise-ness. "Tom Cruise as white man samurai", "Tom Cruise as Jerry Maguire", "Tom Cruise as Lestat". That doesn't mean he's not enjoyable, but it makes him something other than an actor. He's actually like the old move stars, John Wayne was the same way. Compare this to, say Gary Oldman who can convincingly play Sid Vicious, a vampire, a rogue wizard, or an evil futuristic overlord with a southern accent without being 'Gary Oldman' in every role. This. Very much this. The only role I have seen Tom Cruise play in that was not overtly Tom Cruise was his portrayal of Less Grossman. |
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| Author: | Micheal [ Thu Jul 15, 2010 1:05 pm ] |
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Actually, I thought Less Grossman reveals the deep inner Tom Cruise precisely. |
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| Author: | Lenas [ Thu Jul 15, 2010 1:17 pm ] |
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I loved The Last Samurai. Come on, man. If you were Tom Cruise, you'd be Tom Cruise crazy, too. |
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| Author: | DFK! [ Thu Jul 15, 2010 1:43 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: |
Micheal wrote: Actually, I thought Less Grossman reveals the deep inner Tom Cruise precisely. /sagenod |
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| Author: | Nevandal [ Thu Jul 15, 2010 2:03 pm ] |
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Oh yeah, another Tom Cruise movie I really like is the one with Jamie Fox... Collateral. Tom has been in a lot of great movies and I don't mind that he gets typecast and/or a lot of his roles have a similar attitude. It's just that he seems way too out of place as a Samurai. It's not just the fact that the character is white, but he's too much of a chauvinistic retard to ever have taken the place of a Samurai he killed, he was way too provocative and out of line and unless you have a hard on for Tom Cruise this will ruin the movie for you. They should have given the role to Russell Crowe. Actually, lets just replace the Samurai costumes with Roman soldier armor and have the battle in the Colosseum. Every time Tom Cruise had a twitch in his eye or gave a slight smile to the wife he just made a widow I could just hear him screaming out "I got the neeeeeeeeeed for speeeeeeed." Thanks, Elmo. I am serious about Russell Crowe. He can pull off that type of character. Tom Cruise is better as an ******* bad guy. |
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| Author: | Screeling [ Thu Jul 15, 2010 2:20 pm ] |
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You cannot deny Tom Cruise was da bomb in Tropic Thunder, yo. |
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| Author: | Nevandal [ Thu Jul 15, 2010 2:43 pm ] |
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Never saw it....and what's Less Grossman? |
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| Author: | Kaffis Mark V [ Thu Jul 15, 2010 2:47 pm ] |
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Tom Cruise's character in Tropic Thunder. |
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| Author: | Nevandal [ Thu Jul 15, 2010 2:47 pm ] |
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Does this have anything to do with Days of Thunder? |
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| Author: | Psifonian2 [ Thu Jul 15, 2010 2:48 pm ] |
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Cruise is a character actor trapped in a leading man's body. He has delivered performances in the past that have blown me away ("Magnolia," "Collateral"). But because of his public persona and the scandals surrounding his behavior in the last few years, it's incredibly hard to see him as anything other than, well . . . Tom Cruise. |
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| Author: | Nevandal [ Thu Jul 15, 2010 2:49 pm ] |
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I think I am going to rewatch Collateral tonight. It will reinforce my belief that Tom Cruise is insane. |
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| Author: | Müs [ Thu Jul 15, 2010 2:57 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: |
Nevandal wrote: Does this have anything to do with Days of Thunder? No. Its about a billion times more awesome. |
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| Author: | Hopwin [ Thu Jul 15, 2010 3:21 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: |
Psifonian2 wrote: Cruise is a character actor trapped in a leading man's body. Isn't he like 5'2"? |
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