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Women probably shouldnt click this thread
https://gladerebooted.net/viewtopic.php?f=7&t=3833		 Page 1 of 1
Author:  Wwen [ Fri Aug 13, 2010 7:16 pm ]
Post subject:  Women probably shouldnt click this thread
So, despite promises, lies were all she spoke. I don't know why I expected something different. I feel dumb for trusting another human being. No one is ever what they say they are. :cry:
Author:  Taskiss [ Fri Aug 13, 2010 7:21 pm ]
Post subject: 
Not again...

Wwen, use the head on top of your shoulders next time.
Author:  Wwen [ Fri Aug 13, 2010 7:34 pm ]
Post subject: 
With any luck, I'll only torture myself for a month.
Author:  Tolyn [ Fri Aug 13, 2010 11:31 pm ]
Post subject:  Re:
Taskiss wrote:
Not again...

Wwen, use the head on top of your shoulders next time.


God gave us two heads and only enough blood to run one at a time.

On a more supportive note, I have met plenty of women who were exactly what they said they were. They do exist bro.
Author:  Wwen [ Sat Aug 14, 2010 12:05 am ]
Post subject: 
Actually, I feel much better now. She's buying me dinner as an apology. I was a little hung over this morning and apparently so was she. It's probably for the best that nothing happened.
Author:  Nevandal [ Sat Aug 14, 2010 4:02 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Re:
Tolyn wrote:
Taskiss wrote:
Not again...

Wwen, use the head on top of your shoulders next time.


God gave us two heads and only enough blood to run one at a time.

On a more supportive note, I have met plenty of women who were exactly what they said they were. They do exist bro.


a quotable piece of genius, my friend.
Author:  Hopwin [ Sat Aug 14, 2010 8:01 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Women probably shouldnt click this thread
Wwen wrote:
So, despite promises, lies were all she spoke. I don't know why I expected something different. I feel dumb for trusting another human being. No one is ever what they say they are. :cry:

I still don't get the whole lying thing. Do people really intend to spend their entire lives pretending to be someone else? I need to be less naive/gullible.
Author:  Taskiss [ Sat Aug 14, 2010 9:42 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Women probably shouldnt click this thread
Hopwin wrote:
Wwen wrote:
So, despite promises, lies were all she spoke. I don't know why I expected something different. I feel dumb for trusting another human being. No one is ever what they say they are. :cry:

I still don't get the whole lying thing. Do people really intend to spend their entire lives pretending to be someone else? I need to be less naive/gullible.

I'd say it's not about pretending to be someone else as much as it is about hiding who they really are.

The most confidence one can show is to be who they really are.
Author:  Taamar [ Sat Aug 14, 2010 2:37 pm ]
Post subject: 
One of the things I've noticed is that a lot of liars are pretending to be the person the wish they were.
Author:  darksiege [ Sun Aug 15, 2010 3:32 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Re:
Nevandal wrote:
a quotable piece of genius, my friend.


Robin Williams I believe.
Author:  Numbuk [ Sun Aug 15, 2010 1:49 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Women probably shouldnt click this thread
It's really simple. Never listen to their words, only look at their actions. Actions are what tell you what's REALLY going on.

If they say one thing, but do something that's contradictory to what they said, then you go by the action. If she lives 30 minutes away and says she really likes being with you.... yet never wants to make the drive to come and see you (you being the person who continually comes to see her)... guess what? She really doesn't enjoy being with you as much as she claims.

One of the biggest secrets I can reveal, grasshopper.
Author:  Taamar [ Sun Aug 15, 2010 4:08 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Women probably shouldnt click this thread
Numbuk wrote:
It's really simple. Never listen to their words, only look at their actions. Actions are what tell you what's REALLY going on.


This is some of the best advice you will ever get... applied in all areas of your life it will give you better understanding of people you thought you knew. Also remember that the best people to surround yourself with are the ones whose words and actions match. Try to be one of those people.
Author:  Monte [ Sun Aug 15, 2010 11:14 pm ]
Post subject: 
People communicate in all kinds of ways. We communicate even when we don't say anything. We communicate with how we say things. But we also communicate with what we say.

I think more important than watching actions is checking your own biases. Let me give you an example -

After the gal before my current soon-to-be wife and I split up, I got into a phase where I was fine with dating, but *definitely* didn't want anything serious or committed. For all kinds of reasons. So I made it a policy to state that, up front, and as clearly as humanly possible. I dated someone that got very attached, despite repeated reminders that I didn't want anything serious.

Phrases like -

"I do not see us being together long term"

"I don't want anything different than casual dating"

And finally

"As of this moment we are no longer in a romantic relationship. I am comfortable being friends, but I no longer wish to be anything more intimate than that."

There was nothing vague about what I said, nor how I said it. I looked her in the eyes, and said it as clearly as I was able.

Her own biases got in the way. When I said "I don't want this to be serious" she heard "I'm afraid this might be more serious than I'm comfortable with". When I said "I don't want to be romantically involved" she heard "I'm reeling from a major life change and if you just wait a bit I'll come around".

Our own biases get us more than the other person's words. So, listen to what they say, but check your own notions and biases at the door. Really listen to what she's saying, and if you aren't sure, ask her to be more clear. Saying "I'm sorry, I don't quite understand what you're getting at" can go a long way.
Author:  Wwen [ Sun Aug 29, 2010 2:15 pm ]
Post subject: 
It's been a while since the original reason behind this thread. That turned out to be not what it seemed at first, although eventaully she did manage to not do right by me anyhow. It's not a huge deal, as I knew the relationship was very temporary.

What sucks is now that I'm about to leave, I realize I spent my time with the wrong woman. I figured that it would be a bad idea to get too close to the good one, since I would leave anyway. Now I feel like I was wasting my time. Even a short period of time with the right person would have been better. I totally made a mistake. Now that I'm about to get on the bus, I realize how much I'm going to miss her... :(
Author:  Kaffis Mark V [ Sun Aug 29, 2010 6:05 pm ]
Post subject: 
Over the past 7 months, I've pondered something similar off and on. The conclusion I've come to grips with is that it's a losing proposition to wonder whether I'd be better off having not spent a limited amount of time with the right girl. I don't think I'd be happier, though I would hurt less now that it's gone.

That said, I've never regretted a minute of my time with the right girl.

Sucks to hear you let your (well-intentioned) head get in the way of something good, Wwen. Maybe the way to pull a positive out of this is that next time, you'll know better?
Author:  Hopwin [ Sun Aug 29, 2010 9:08 pm ]
Post subject: 
Sorry to hijack but I didn't want to start a new thread but since the spirit seems to be spending time with the wrong person...

Tonight I have received a phone call from my most recent ex's ex and from the girl I was married to. The only person missing from my personal trifecta from hell is my most recent ex. I wonder what the odds of her giving me a ring are?

(PS: Only reason I answered is the ex's ex has a private number so I didn't know who it was and I don't have my ex-wife's number anymore so I didn't know who that was either)
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