The Glade 4.0
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Confession
https://gladerebooted.net/viewtopic.php?f=7&t=5710		 Page 1 of 1
Author:  Kirra [ Tue Mar 15, 2011 9:22 am ]
Post subject:  Confession
Just when you think things couldn't get any worse..you hit a new low and someone tells you something that hits home. You try to explain/blame it away...but in the end, it's still there. So, I'm trying to take ownership of my traits and the person I have become because of things I've been through. It doesn't excuse them, not by far. But I have to start somewhere. It's hard to admit and face some of the things, but I figured I have to face my fears and try and do something about it or just continue down the path I am of unhappiness. I have PTSD and it's started to make life a little more difficult, I started taking some med's that hopefully will help. It's been easy to hide from people, but getting harder and it has made me not so fun to be around, to put it mildly. I'm becoming someone I loath. I am also passive/aggressive..I'm starting to see those traits in myself when I have taken a cold hard look at things Ive done and how I have acted. I have good days..when things seem wonderful..then the smallest thing will hit me wrong...remind me of my ex...and all the feelings flood in and overwhelm me. This is the first time I've totally evaluated myself and I don't like the person I see. Today is an up day..so I figured I would put this in writing so I can't push it away and act like it's not me.

I'm trying to keep myself honest about my actions. Hopefully the "up" days will be more and the "down" days will be recognizable so I can work through them and not rationalize them away. It's so easy to not be truthful with myself..


Thanks for letting me get this off my chest.
Sorry to ramble..I just needed to put this in writing so I am accountable to myself.
Author:  Hopwin [ Tue Mar 15, 2011 9:41 am ]
Post subject: 
I'm sorry to hear that you're having such a difficult time with it. It sounds like you're doing everything you can, sought help, self-evaluation, all you are missing is time and distance which have to come on their own.
Author:  LadyKate [ Tue Mar 15, 2011 9:46 am ]
Post subject: 
I can relate to a lot of those thoughts and feelings, Kirra. Considering what you have been through, I hope you realize that what you are going through now in the aftermath are perfectly normal emotional, psychological, and behavioral reactions. Sounds like you are taking a very healthy approach to healing your wounds, and I'm proud of you for facing it even though its not always glamorous and pretty and most definitely not easy.
Keep doing what you are doing and you will be doing much better before you know it! *huggzies!* :)
Author:  Aizle [ Tue Mar 15, 2011 9:51 am ]
Post subject: 
Good for you for recognizing this about yourself and taking positive steps.

Like anything that requires change, don't obsess about the slip ups or "down" days. Acknowledge them, and do what you can to prevent/minimize them and move on. The more you can look at them as learning opportunities instead of failures, the better you'll be able to overcome them.
Author:  Foamy [ Tue Mar 15, 2011 10:25 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Confession
Kirra, take good care of yourself. (Sounds like you already are)

We're always here to rant and ramble to anytime.

All the best to you.

/hugs
Author:  Oonagh [ Tue Mar 15, 2011 10:44 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Confession
Image
Author:  Colphax [ Tue Mar 15, 2011 10:46 am ]
Post subject: 
Awesome, Kirra, I'm proud of you for recognizing this and taking ownership of your life and what you want out of it. Good for you!
Author:  darksiege [ Tue Mar 15, 2011 10:52 am ]
Post subject: 
you can do it Kirra, we are here for you.
Author:  Elessar [ Tue Mar 15, 2011 11:18 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Confession
Image
Author:  Lonedar [ Tue Mar 15, 2011 11:33 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Confession
Elessar wrote:
Image


Rounlin???

Kirra, You're blessed to have good self-reflection. Keep working at it and don't beat yourself up over bad days. You will be in my prayers.
Author:  Killuas [ Tue Mar 15, 2011 8:28 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Confession
Your already farther along than most people that suffer from it by recognizing it and seek help. Stay strong and keep getting help.
Author:  Micheal [ Tue Mar 15, 2011 9:24 pm ]
Post subject: 
/agree Killuas
Author:  Rynar [ Tue Mar 15, 2011 9:28 pm ]
Post subject: 
I echo Colphax's sentiments. We're all proud of you Kirra.
Author:  Vindicarre [ Tue Mar 15, 2011 11:54 pm ]
Post subject: 
I'm going to go with Elessar's advice on this one.

J/k
We're here for you Kirra, and while we can only understand some of what you're feeling know that many of us are quite proud to have someone like you choose to hang around this place with us.
Author:  Jasmy [ Wed Mar 16, 2011 12:32 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Confession
Hang in there Kirra, it can only get better for you!! :D

As others have said, we are here for you...rant away as needed!

/hugs
Author:  Squirrel Girl [ Wed Mar 16, 2011 10:19 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Confession
You are doing the right thing. You recognize the problem and are getting treatment.

If possible you may want to consider therapy along with medication.
Author:  Diamondeye [ Wed Mar 16, 2011 10:30 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Confession
We're here for you Kirra, any time. I'm glad you're getting help.

/hugs
Author:  Taskiss [ Fri Mar 18, 2011 5:43 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Confession
I applaud your determination to change, Kirra...

but when I read the title and saw the author I was hoping for something a bit ... racier.

:P

Good luck!
Author:  Kirra [ Mon Mar 21, 2011 1:22 am ]
Post subject: 
Hugs and thanks so much for the encouragement, it does help me.


PS Tas...just what did you hope I would confess. O.o. :p
Author:  Micheal [ Mon Mar 21, 2011 1:54 am ]
Post subject: 
Your triangle affair with a bactrian and a llama.

Taskiss is predictable that way.
Author:  LadyKate [ Mon Mar 21, 2011 6:30 am ]
Post subject:  Re:
Kirra wrote:
Hugs and thanks so much for the encouragement, it does help me.


PS Tas...just what did you hope I would confess. O.o. :p


Probably "I kissed a girl and I liked it" hahaha!
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