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| 2 days now... https://gladerebooted.net/viewtopic.php?f=7&t=6374 |
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| Author: | TheRiov [ Wed May 25, 2011 10:36 pm ] |
| Post subject: | 2 days now... |
*sigh* Its still May 25.... for another 30 minutes. In less than 48 hours my daughter will be winging her way to El Paso to spend the next 2.5 months with my Ex-wife. This is now the second time I've had to do this--I hate it. I hate my ex-wife for causing this situation. On one hand, I get to have her for pretty much the other 9.5 months of the year (minus a week here and there for Christmas, thanksgiving, Spring break, etc) But I hate having her so far away. On one hand I'm grateful to my ex for moving so far away. It means I get to be the 'real' parent--not the holiday parent. I'm the one who gets to raise her, and I know my daughter needs her mother too (my ex never would harm my daughter... and she always takes care of the 'necessary' stuff, but she doesn't get affection. She doesn't understand that taking care of a child is about more than making sure they're fashionably dressed and well fed and get to things on time. ) I just wish she didn't have to be so damn far away. I have this gut feeling that my daughter is relatively safe if she's in the same town as me. (Yes, I'm fully aware its not rational) but 1.6k+ miles away is another story entirely. I feel like there is nothing I could do for her in a crisis. Of course being a parent I always go to a worst case scenario-- I couldn't even get to the hospital to donate blood to her if she needed it if she was hurt. (not that I have the right type, but that's not the point) |
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| Author: | darksiege [ Wed May 25, 2011 10:47 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
1- When it comes to your children... irrational is perfectly acceptable 2- I am sorry you have to go through this. Stampi and I do not get along all the time, but she is a good kid and I do not think I would be a very good person (I really am ya know) if she were not around. |
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| Author: | Rynar [ Wed May 25, 2011 11:31 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
Tough situation. My heart is with you in this. You guys will be in my prayers. |
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| Author: | Micheal [ Wed May 25, 2011 11:38 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
Make a schedule to call her. Keep it. |
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| Author: | TheRiov [ Thu May 26, 2011 6:19 am ] |
| Post subject: | |
I do. In 2.5 months I didn't miss a day |
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| Author: | LadyKate [ Thu May 26, 2011 7:05 am ] |
| Post subject: | |
Riov, we're going through something similar...the ex just moved to TX and we get one of the kids for the summer (the teenager has decided not to stay, sadly) and then they will be gone all year. I wish we could be the full-time parents instead of the holiday parents. Any tips for the long-distance parenting thing? |
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| Author: | TheRiov [ Thu May 26, 2011 8:36 am ] |
| Post subject: | |
Call Daily. Don't try to challenge the other parent's authority unless the child is in legitimate danger. If you have a concern talk to your Ex. Offer your ex the same conditions you want --actively encourage the child to talk on the phone outside your earshot when you're the custodial parent. Never let the child play you. Kids love to 'tattle' to the other parent--refuse to accept anything like this unless again, possibility of harm. Grant your ex the benefit of the doubt when possible. You're not the one with boots on the ground. Make a point of once a week trying to talk to your ex about the one thing you still have in common--your kid. Children are notoriously tight lipped or just have odd priorities--let the other parent fill you in if you can, for the sake of the child if nothing else. (I realize not everyone is as amiable with their ex as I am) (My daughter would much rather tell me about the 3 new video games that came out than the fact she has to be on antibiotics for the next 3 weeks.) Take any and all chances to be with your child. Failure to show up for scheduled visitation or not taking offered visitation could be viewed by the court as abdication of responsibility. |
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| Author: | Taskiss [ Thu Jun 02, 2011 7:38 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: 2 days now... |
Having been married 3 times, the lesson I've learned is: Any problem you have with your Ex is actually a self inflicted injury. You may not like what's happening, but what you need to do is put on your game face and don't let the kids have any idea of the issue you have with the situation. It sucks, but it's your own fault and any display of emotion over the issue is just dumping the problem on the kids. Anything they may say that indicates they're not happy with the situation should be met with "This is what your other parent and I worked out. It's not necessarily something you like, but it's the best we've been able to do for you given the circumstances". |
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