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How do you house train a guy?
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Author:  Lydiaa [ Sun Sep 04, 2011 10:34 pm ]
Post subject:  How do you house train a guy?
I know it's possible, I have seen the results myself, but when it comes to actually doing it, it just seems impossible.

Couple of things which really annoys me include:

Having dirty clothes everywhere around the clothes basket, except inside the clothes basket.
Not rincing dishes before placing them in the dish washer.
The inability to seperate delicates from normal clothes when doing the washing.
Leaving the toilet seat up (Especially at night).
Not eating left overs, but would chomp down freshly cooked stuff.

I have tried nagging, ignoring him, giving him a reminder list, posting signs around the house (e.g. there's one above the toilet that says, put seat down after use) and I'm running out of ideas >.<

Help! Living with the opposite sex is so much harder than I thought it would be... :(
Author:  Raltar [ Sun Sep 04, 2011 10:55 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
Having dirty clothes everywhere around the clothes basket, except inside the clothes basket.


I don't really see the issue here.

Quote:
Not rincing dishes before placing them in the dish washer.


What kind of ghetto *** dish washer do you have that you even have to rinse the dishes before running them through the dishwasher? What's the **** point of having a dishwasher if you are going to do this first?

Quote:
The inability to seperate delicates from normal clothes when doing the washing.


People actually do this? I don't think I have any delicates, so it's not really an issue for me. But I suppose you could always do it your self.

Quote:
Leaving the toilet seat up (Especially at night).


I've never liked this custom. If you want the seat down, put it down your damn self.

Quote:
Not eating left overs, but would chomp down freshly cooked stuff.


This seems like the only legitimate complaint. The only thing I can think of is not making anything if there are leftovers or don't make as much so there aren't as many left overs.
Author:  Micheal [ Sun Sep 04, 2011 11:27 pm ]
Post subject: 
Typical guy behavior, oh and guys resist training, we're people, not pets.

Short form, send him off to the service for a term of enlistment. Let the Sergeants train him.

First, guys don't understand clothes baskets. No, really. It is a foreign concept. Clothes on a pile on the floor in one area, okay, we deal with that, but in the basket? Why?

Second, Raltar has a point. Our dishwashers here handle pretty caked on awful stuff. Unless you're only running it once or twice a month and the stuff in there becomes a science experiment, it isn't a big deal.

Third, why is he doing your laundry? We don't consider our undies as delicates, we lump them in with towels and sheets.

Fourth, you are spoiled. Do you leave the toilet seat up for him? If you want him to leave it down for you why can't you leave it up for him?

Fifth, pretty much, no wholly agree with Raltar on this one.

Lastly, you are spoiled. You have lived long enough by yourself you are used to having things a certain way, your way. Your list contains mostly the typical female complaints about living with guys.

You have three choices,

1) learn to live with it and see yourself as a pathetic wimp.
2) kick him out, which is the same answer as sending him into the military really, will you see him after his term?
3) sit him down seriously, talk it over, and reach a compromise.

Really, I would suggest three, and if you're serious enough about the guy (since you let him move in I assume you are) you might want to consider couples counseling. He's probably having a hard time with the changes in living with the opposite sex too.

However, most guys will balk at counseling, and if he isn't willing to compromise, do some things your way, he's an egotistical male chauvinist and isn't good enough for you, boot him.
Author:  Rynar [ Mon Sep 05, 2011 1:27 am ]
Post subject: 
These aren't a big deal. Learn to deal with it, or start dating women exclusively. If these are your only complaints he has already made a ton of concessions that you don't even know about. Men are not women.
Author:  bale [ Mon Sep 05, 2011 5:01 am ]
Post subject: 
2 and 4 seem like common courtesy when sharing a living space with a member of the opposite sex, though

1 and 3 are a bit more personal. guy mentality is to just throw everything into a pile and deal with it later when the time arises. you may need to do some psychological warfare and stop being tidy. once the mess reaches critical mass, he'll start cleaning up. the hard part is going to be outlasting him :p but if he's taken the initiative to do your laundry with his, then that's actually him trying to be nice and help with chores. it may be a good idea to not throw delicates into the same pile as the rest of the dirty clothes. you're lucky if we can remember to separate colors most of the time :p

i'd like to add one more item to micheal's list of options
4) withhold sex. use it as incentive for good behavior :p
Author:  Müs [ Mon Sep 05, 2011 5:02 am ]
Post subject:  Re:
bale wrote:
i'd like to add one more item to micheal's list of options
4) withhold sex. use it as incentive for good behavior :p



No. no. no. no.

Never ever do this. It will only breed resentment.
Author:  bale [ Mon Sep 05, 2011 5:10 am ]
Post subject: 
i never said it was a good option, but it is an option nonetheless
Author:  Rorinthas [ Mon Sep 05, 2011 8:26 am ]
Post subject:  How do you house train a guy?
Maybe you need to invest in a dish washer that pre rinses for you.

Clothes is probably something that can be worked on. Guys probably need more organization than girls. If he's a handyman, let him build you something cool to help sort/store laundry.

Everything else you probably have to live with. Also though you shouldn't be getting involved with the guy you can live with: you should be living with the guy you can't live without. This will make the little faults easier to handle.
Author:  Lex Luthor [ Mon Sep 05, 2011 8:36 am ]
Post subject:  Re: How do you house train a guy?
Lydiaa wrote:
Having dirty clothes everywhere around the clothes basket, except inside the clothes basket.


My girl roommate does this in her room.

Quote:
Not rincing dishes before placing them in the dish washer.


See above. I do it too. Dishwashers do the washing, not me.

Quote:
The inability to seperate delicates from normal clothes when doing the washing.


Like Raltar asked, people really do this? I think it's an urban legend that it actually matters, although I could be proven wrong.

Quote:
Leaving the toilet seat up (Especially at night).


It takes effort to put it up, just like it does to put it down. Therefore it is fine to leave it how you want, it's fair.

Quote:
Not eating left overs, but would chomp down freshly cooked stuff.


My roommate does this. She throws out leftovers or leaves it in the fridge for ages for ages.

Quote:
I have tried nagging, ignoring him, giving him a reminder list, posting signs around the house (e.g. there's one above the toilet that says, put seat down after use) and I'm running out of ideas >.<


I honestly don't care that much what she does, as long as she pays rent and doesn't waste too much heat/electricity.

Quote:
Help! Living with the opposite sex is so much harder than I thought it would be... :(


Not to be rude, but your post is slightly sexist, since it presumes that men are more slobs than women.
Author:  Wwen [ Mon Sep 05, 2011 8:48 am ]
Post subject:  Re: How do you house train a guy?
Lex Luthor wrote:
Not to be rude, but your post is slightly sexist, since it presumes that men are more slobs than women.

Actually, I think it assumes there's nothing about living with her that is difficult. He just might not say anything...

Personally, I'd trade toilet seat lowering for women's suffrage. Welcome to equality of the sexes. You lost the toilet seat thing when we let you vote. :D
Author:  Lex Luthor [ Mon Sep 05, 2011 8:51 am ]
Post subject:  Re: How do you house train a guy?
Wwen wrote:
Lex Luthor wrote:
Not to be rude, but your post is slightly sexist, since it presumes that men are more slobs than women.

Actually, I think it assumes there's nothing about living with her that is difficult. He just might not say anything...

Personally, I'd trade toilet seat lowering for women's suffrage. Welcome to equality of the sexes. You lost the toilet seat thing when we let you vote. :D


Her post is about house training a guy (like he's some kind of pet or animal) as opposed to a general person who has incongruent living behavior.
Author:  shuyung [ Mon Sep 05, 2011 9:08 am ]
Post subject: 
Prevailing opinion is that positive reinforcement works better than negative. Have you considered providing sex when he does something right? And I don't mean sometime later, I mean immediately after.
Author:  Kirra [ Mon Sep 05, 2011 9:43 am ]
Post subject: 
Probably not the best place to get ideas on how to train your guy, Lydiaa....
Author:  Elmarnieh [ Mon Sep 05, 2011 9:44 am ]
Post subject:  Re: How do you house train a guy?
Maybe you need training to live with a guy? Having always had the toilet seat down for yourself you now expect him to move it to your preferred location instead of remembering to check it before you sit down?

Seriously why is your lack of memory an issue for someone else?

Try moving the clothes basket to the place where he normally throws his clothes then slowly start moving it to where you want it...might not get all the way.

Find out what you do that drives him nutty and then exchange crazy driving behaviors on a 1 for 1 level.
Author:  Serienya [ Mon Sep 05, 2011 9:51 am ]
Post subject:  Re:
shuyung wrote:
Prevailing opinion is that positive reinforcement works better than negative. Have you considered providing sex when he does something right? And I don't mean sometime later, I mean immediately after.


Oh god, doing that gives women a bad name, and perpetuates the stereotype that we can only get by with our feminine wiles. It's like saying, "I'm sorry, I'm not competent to resolve conflict or motivate someone any other way. Tee hee!"

I have to say that I usually have clothes piled somewhere they shouldn't be. It's not exclusive to men. :)

As for sorting of laundry, try using multiple hampers. Use one only for delicates, and wash those yourself rather than risking them being handled incorrectly. (My now-ex once helpfully threw a wool skirt in the dryer...) Or just split the laundry so you do yours, he does his, and either of you can do towels, sheets, and other linens.

Now back to playing with tools. (I now know how to pocket cut with a circular saw. I'd previously only used them for ripping. Yay!)
Author:  Rynar [ Mon Sep 05, 2011 9:59 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Re:
Serienya wrote:
shuyung wrote:
Prevailing opinion is that positive reinforcement works better than negative. Have you considered providing sex when he does something right? And I don't mean sometime later, I mean immediately after.


Oh god, doing that gives women a bad name, and perpetuates the stereotype that we can only get by with our feminine wiles. It's like saying, "I'm sorry, I'm not competent to resolve conflict or motivate someone any other way. Tee hee!"


Which is totally different than the stereotype that Lydiaa is clinging to? Good for the goose, good for the gander.
Author:  Taskiss [ Mon Sep 05, 2011 10:32 am ]
Post subject: 
I took this thread as sort of an introduction that Lydiaa was in a committed relationship.

Good for you, girl!

As far as the minor issues, my wife has very similar problems. She announces, loudly, "Why are there clothes in the floor RIGHT NEXT TO THE HAMPER?

And I say, "Cause you're a lucky lady!"

Seriously, the only thing worse than living with the ones we love is NOT living with them.
Author:  Shelgeyr [ Mon Sep 05, 2011 11:02 am ]
Post subject: 
You don't train guys, you fine-tune. Mothers do the initial training. If a guy isn't more or less well-trained when you get him, something went wrong in his childhood and it's too late to salvage anything. Throw him back and keep looking.
Author:  Serienya [ Mon Sep 05, 2011 11:13 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Re:
Rynar wrote:
Which is totally different than the stereotype that Lydiaa is clinging to? Good for the goose, good for the gander.


Who said it wasn't equally as wrong? I certainly never argued that point!
Author:  Taamar [ Mon Sep 05, 2011 11:37 am ]
Post subject: 
On the toilet seat thing:

It's like the adjustment on the drivers seat in the car: the person who uses it most should be the one to choose the default setting. In a home with 4 guys and a girl the default will be 'seat up' because most of the usage will be a guy standing to pee. Bust girls use the toilet every hour of so and we sit EVERY TIME. So if there's only one of each the seat will needs to be down for at least 80% of the usages. And the consequences of a guy forgetting to lift it are that he has to wipe the seat. The consequences of a girl not putting it down require a shower and bruise cream.

But if you default to 'everyone closes and opens the lid every time' it solves the problem completely. It creates a more sanitary bathroom, looks cleaner, and spreads the burden evenly.
Author:  Rynar [ Mon Sep 05, 2011 12:03 pm ]
Post subject: 
Do women blindfold themselves when entering the bathroom? Do you back in for some reason, refusing to look at the toilet, lest it's divine radience burn out your eyes? I'm not even sure how it's possible for a woman, who claims to notice every damn piece of lint her man misses with the vacuum, to not notice the damn seat being up.

In fact I don't believe it actually happens. I'm certain that you do notice it, and sit down anyway in order to martyr yourselves as if we should actually care. Nothing will convince me otherwise, and even less would make me care about your sopping wet, bruised ***.
Author:  Shelgeyr [ Mon Sep 05, 2011 12:13 pm ]
Post subject: 
Rynar - most girls I know tend to go to the bathroom in rather a hurry. You know, the "omg if I don't pee right now I'm gonna wet myself" kind of hurry. So they rush into the bathroom, close the door, whip down their pants and throw themselves onto the toilet as quickly as possible to avoid making a mess. This activity doesn't allow them time to assess the situation before committing themselves to the action plan. Then there are the night visits. Taamar doesn't turn on the bathroom light when peeing in the middle of the night because she wants to be able to go back to sleep as quickly and easily as possible.
Author:  Raltar [ Mon Sep 05, 2011 12:18 pm ]
Post subject:  Re:
Shelgeyr wrote:
Rynar - most girls I know tend to go to the bathroom in rather a hurry. You know, the "omg if I don't pee right now I'm gonna wet myself" kind of hurry. So they rush into the bathroom, close the door, whip down their pants and throw themselves onto the toilet as quickly as possible to avoid making a mess. This activity doesn't allow them time to assess the situation before committing themselves to the action plan. Then there are the night visits. Taamar doesn't turn on the bathroom light when peeing in the middle of the night because she wants to be able to go back to sleep as quickly and easily as possible.


None of this is the guy's fault. It is all 100% the girl's fault for not looking.
Author:  Shelgeyr [ Mon Sep 05, 2011 12:27 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Re:
Raltar wrote:
None of this is the guy's fault. It is all 100% the girl's fault for not looking.
And choosing to make "the girl's" life easier by leaving the seat down is just one of those things that makes "the guy" easier to live with. It's your choice, really. Do you want your girl to tell all her friends how wonderful you are for always leaving the seat down or do you want her to be constantly ***** to her friends about what an ******* you are for not doing so?
Author:  Raltar [ Mon Sep 05, 2011 12:29 pm ]
Post subject: 
I don't see why it's an issue in the first place. Why can't people just look before using the toilet? Is it really that hard? Is it that big of a **** deal that you are going to ***** to your friends about it? What a **** sad life you would have to live for this to even be an issue at all.
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