The Glade 4.0 :: View topic - Another "I told you so" moment. Courtesy of... me

Spoiler:

Lisa and I had yet another fight, and this time... I do not know that I was entirely reasonable
it started with her being out all night again without telling us she was too tired to drive and crashing somewhere and eventually made its way to "well if we are not going to be having benefits anymore than we are just friends/roommates and I am going to start making changes to hold you responsible for your own expenses"

I get that I probably made her feel like a whore. But my issue is this... she tells me, if I want sex from her, just take sex. then every time I try I get shot down. I ask her if she is unwilling to do that anymore, and she says maybe later, just not right now; and then during our fight today she asks well is everything going to change if I take away the benefits because you want to be mean? We are living like a family.

So I told her, "No , I am living like a family, you are just living like you do not need help from anyone, regardless of whether you do or not. You just push people away, not be independent" instead she screamed at me about how I am not god, she does not need to bow down to me, and that making more money does not make me better than anyone else, and that not everyone has their jobs handed to them like I do.
And... that last part is only true of this one particular job. I have busted my *** to get where I am, and yeah I did have a hand up... because I have ambition, and so do my friends and all I can think is "no I am not better than you because of my job, I am better than you because I have made sacrifices to make sure I am educated, and I have made sacrifices to make sure you and your family is taken care of, and I am the one here with our kids. THAT is why I am better than you." but I cannot say it. I cannot tell her that I am better because I am smarter, or because I work harder when I do involve myself in a project.

The awesome part of this whole thing... consider this if you will... she does not take into account that I could only do so much when I was not working because we moved into the house and she had surgery all at the same time so I had to take care of her and the house... I have done how much for the kids, even when it was not to my benefit?

Author:	darksiege [ Wed Oct 17, 2012 2:22 pm ]
Post subject:	Another "I told you so" moment. Courtesy of... me
I had yet another fight with Lisa today... this is the complete oofa of what occurred. Spoilered for wall of text. Spoiler: Lisa and I had yet another fight, and this time... I do not know that I was entirely reasonable it started with her being out all night again without telling us she was too tired to drive and crashing somewhere and eventually made its way to "well if we are not going to be having benefits anymore than we are just friends/roommates and I am going to start making changes to hold you responsible for your own expenses" I get that I probably made her feel like a whore. But my issue is this... she tells me, if I want sex from her, just take sex. then every time I try I get shot down. I ask her if she is unwilling to do that anymore, and she says maybe later, just not right now; and then during our fight today she asks well is everything going to change if I take away the benefits because you want to be mean? We are living like a family. So I told her, "No , I am living like a family, you are just living like you do not need help from anyone, regardless of whether you do or not. You just push people away, not be independent" instead she screamed at me about how I am not god, she does not need to bow down to me, and that making more money does not make me better than anyone else, and that not everyone has their jobs handed to them like I do. And... that last part is only true of this one particular job. I have busted my * to get where I am, and yeah I did have a hand up... because I have ambition, and so do my friends and all I can think is "no I am not better than you because of my job, I am better than you because I have made sacrifices to make sure I am educated, and I have made sacrifices to make sure you and your family is taken care of, and I am the one here with our kids. THAT is why I am better than you." but I cannot say it. I cannot tell her that I am better because I am smarter, or because I work harder when I do involve myself in a project. The awesome part of this whole thing... consider this if you will... she does not take into account that I could only do so much when I was not working because we moved into the house and she had surgery all at the same time so I had to take care of her and the house... I have done how much for the kids, even when it was not to my benefit? Now for those of you who may (or may not) give a rats ... We split up roughly a year ago. We have still been living together, sharing the same bed, bills, etc. And I have still been with no one but her this entire time. Every now and then it feels like she throws me a bone. Picking me up and going our for lunch, randomly buying me some treat she found at work, etc. The kids still calling me dad, etc. We have even taken in and been support for more people in her family needing places to stay. I have finally had it, I have been used up, my hope has been replaced with realization and *** it. I dun care no more... well that is what I would like to think. But regardless of anything, deep down, I still love her, she is the mother of my chirren. I have had it impli

Author:	Arathain Kelvar [ Wed Oct 17, 2012 2:28 pm ]
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Dude, get out - that situation is terrible for your children anyway.

Author:	Lenas [ Wed Oct 17, 2012 2:30 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Another "I told you so" moment. Courtesy of... me
For real. **** needs to end. Do you honestly think this is better for anyone involved?

Author:	Hopwin [ Wed Oct 17, 2012 2:33 pm ]
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DS, you ok?

Author:	Rynar [ Wed Oct 17, 2012 2:42 pm ]
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Jesus, bud... That whole situation just sucks. I'm sorry you find yourself in that place, and I'll be praying for you. I have no specific advice other than to say that your situation sounds incredibly unhealthy for everyone involved and you should change it.

The Glade 4.0 https://gladerebooted.net/

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Author:	darksiege [ Wed Oct 17, 2012 2:51 pm ]
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The situation is changing. I have put up with too much. I am beginning to take steps to GTFO of this situation. We are separating all of our bills, and I am working to make proper arrangements for my pets (a lizard, a dog and potentially a cat) oh and coincidentally... the 20mg of Prozac I have been taking seems to be working less and less efficiently.

Author:	Müs [ Wed Oct 17, 2012 2:56 pm ]
Post subject:	Re:
darksiege wrote: The situation is changing. I have put up with too much. I am beginning to take steps to GTFO of this situation. We are separating all of our bills, and I am working to make proper arrangements for my pets (a lizard, a dog and potentially a cat) oh and coincidentally... the 20mg of Prozac I have been taking seems to be working less and less efficiently.

Author:	darksiege [ Wed Oct 17, 2012 3:02 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Another "I told you so" moment. Courtesy of... me
oh and here is why I say this is an "I told you so" moment... My Hiatus post

Author:	Jasmy [ Thu Oct 18, 2012 1:41 am ]
Post subject:	Re: Another "I told you so" moment. Courtesy of... me
I'm sorry you are going through this, I wish there was something I could do to help. As others have said, get out now and don't look back. I feel for the kids left behind but she has been using you for way too long and so has her family. You deserve so much better. /hugs

Author:	Corolinth [ Thu Oct 18, 2012 2:41 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Another "I told you so" moment. Courtesy of... me
She's a soul-crushing black emotional void. Get the **** out. Remember that murdering her is more trouble than it's worth. The husband or ex-husband is always the prime suspect, and they will catch you.

Author:	Foamy [ Thu Oct 18, 2012 3:51 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Another "I told you so" moment. Courtesy of... me
Corolinth wrote: She's a soul-crushing black emotional void. Get the **** out. Remember that murdering her is more trouble than it's worth. The husband or ex-husband is always the prime suspect, and they will catch you. But yeah...what he said. ^^^

Author:	darksiege [ Fri Oct 19, 2012 9:33 am ]
Post subject:	Re: Another "I told you so" moment. Courtesy of... me
Here is proof that I have grown as a person... I do not wish her demise. In fact my wish for her is the same... I wish she could have just been honest with me. No sex... fine, just be honest. Don't even want to be playful... Fine, just be honest. And to top it off, yesterday she gave away my daughters' kitten, she claims because she cannot afford it, but I think it was to hurt me the only way she can... Through Stampy. Sent from my SpringBoard using Tapatalk 2

Author:	FarSky [ Fri Oct 19, 2012 10:07 am ]
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Wait...what right does she have to give away your daughter's property?

Author:	Corolinth [ Fri Oct 19, 2012 10:32 am ]
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Probably because she has primary custody.

Author:	darksiege [ Sat Oct 20, 2012 12:01 pm ]
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so... I am starting to pack my stuff right now, it will take some time, and I am actually kind of feeling very lost right now. it is odd

Author:	shuyung [ Sun Oct 21, 2012 9:22 am ]
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Oh, rental? Make sure you get your name off of the lease immediately.

Author:	darksiege [ Sun Oct 21, 2012 5:31 pm ]
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yeah, I am not ready to buy a home.

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Author:	darksiege [ Fri Oct 19, 2012 12:46 pm ]
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my daughter did not pay for the cat, it was a cat brought into the house that Stampy decided was hers. The cat actually chose me as its staff though.

Author:	shuyung [ Sat Oct 20, 2012 8:22 pm ]
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Wait, why are you packing? Whose house is it?

Author:	darksiege [ Sun Oct 21, 2012 1:49 am ]
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both of our names are on the lease, but since I have much less stuff to move... I have decided that I am going to be the one departing.

Author:	darksiege [ Mon Oct 29, 2012 10:53 am ]
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I did it, I have moved out. This has to be the hardest thing to endure EVER. First time in five years I have not slept in the home my children live in.

Author:	Lenas [ Mon Oct 29, 2012 12:39 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Another "I told you so" moment. Courtesy of... me
First step, man. Good job.

Author:	Jasmy [ Tue Oct 30, 2012 3:05 am ]
Post subject:	Re: Another "I told you so" moment. Courtesy of... me
/hugs DS

Author:	Squirrel Girl [ Tue Oct 30, 2012 9:25 am ]
Post subject:	Re: Another "I told you so" moment. Courtesy of... me
(hugs)

Author:	Amanar [ Tue Oct 30, 2012 11:46 am ]
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Congratulations on getting out of that situation and overcoming the inertia that was keeping you there. I'm sure it wasn't easy.