The Glade 4.0

I am ready for this semester to be over.

It will be the worst one I have ever had, academically. And I am accepting it, and preparing to keep moving forward instead of shutting down completely and preparing to withdraw from the world entirely. I am.. making plans to improve, looking at scheduling study hours, and actively choosing courses next semester that will theoretically make me a better student.

While I -am- still fantasizing about suicide, I am still stubbornly refusing to let it be the only thought I have; I am cutting my losses and focusing on the things I -can- pass instead of the things that I'm too far under to fix.

...this growing as a person thing scares me I do not like it

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Grenade 3 Sports Drink. It's fire in the hole.. Your hole!

Make sure you don't take on too much, but also keep things in perspective. College is important, but it's only one small part of life. Imagine the worst case scenario - you fail every class from here on out. That would suck, but you'd just move on to something else. You'd be fine. It's certainly not the end of the world.

I go to school - I write exams
If I pass, if I fail, does anyone give a damn?
And if they do, they'll soon forget
'cause it won't take much for me to show 'em my life ain't over yet.
-Barenaked Ladies

Also - there are tremendous resources for stressed out kids on college campuses. Look into it. They know what you are dealing with. As bad as things seem to you, it's temporary, and more importantly, they are common. People understand and can help.

Different classes won't make you a better student. You make you a better student through honest assessment of your successes and failures and then devising new strategies around that analysis. Make sure you are studying enough and studying effectively when you are.

Minimize distractions. Stop playing video games unless you are 100% caught up, including studying your notes. Yes, I see you logging into Borderlands 2, so I know you're doing it. I know this is hard (I still struggle with this), but you have to set boundaries. The games will still be waiting for you in the winter and summer.

Learn the important lessons (which have nothing to do with what you're studying).

Suck it up. Grit your teeth. Buckle down. Stop being a tool.

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The Dude abides.

I think the most important thing is to look at your performance in school as part of a larger picture.

You make choices every day about what to do, how much time and effort to devote to things, when to do different activities.

Look at them as choices, and make sure you're analyzing your life as a whole, and not just looking at a small part of it.

Also, grades are only so important. Sometimes keeping the rest of your life sane, balanced and in order is a lot more important, as is having fun and spending time with friends.

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Darksiege: You are not a god damned vulcan homie.