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| To the family in the ER https://gladerebooted.net/viewtopic.php?f=7&t=9486 |
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| Author: | Uncle Fester [ Thu Dec 13, 2012 9:12 pm ] |
| Post subject: | To the family in the ER |
On behalf of the entire medical staff, **** you, **** you, you selfish **** ****. Your mother is 106, dementia, alzh, and apparently now diagnosed with cancer. So keeping with your **** selfish wishes as apparently discussing end of life issues amoung yourselves, two of you in your 80's, we have now intubated your mother, shoved lines in her twigs of arms, preformed a bronchosopy, and are consulting the oncology department (who will hopefully tell you to **** the hell off). We get it you love your mother, love her enough to not put her through this you selfish **** pigs. None of the above was said, rational arguments were tried, instead had "children" in their late 70's and 80's cry about saving momy. I hope your children put you through this one day. |
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| Author: | Elmarnieh [ Thu Dec 13, 2012 10:00 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
May they get what they give. |
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| Author: | Rorinthas [ Thu Dec 13, 2012 11:04 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: To the family in the ER |
Living wills ftw? |
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| Author: | Uncle Fester [ Thu Dec 13, 2012 11:58 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: To the family in the ER |
Mom has mental issues, apparently for a good long while, so nothing she would have been able to say would have any legal weight. her "children" will not let her go. |
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| Author: | Rorinthas [ Sat Dec 15, 2012 4:33 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
I think that would be one of the first things I would want to cover before getting married/ having childern. On the other hand, I'm trying not to be too hard on them. I don't know what my parents would want. It's not a subject I can actually broach with them. I'd want to do the right thing for them but It'd be hard especially given their spiritual condition. |
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| Author: | Diamondeye [ Sat Dec 15, 2012 5:21 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: To the family in the ER |
When you're 80 years old and mom has been there all your life, letting her go is as fundamentally hard as any other major change for an elderly person. This sort of problem is likely to become more common as lifespans increase. |
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| Author: | Aizle [ Sun Dec 16, 2012 10:50 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: To the family in the ER |
Diamondeye wrote: When you're 80 years old and mom has been there all your life, letting her go is as fundamentally hard as any other major change for an elderly person. This sort of problem is likely to become more common as lifespans increase. Only if you're a **** coward. And letting go of my Dad was no **** easier at 40. |
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| Author: | Diamondeye [ Sun Dec 16, 2012 1:44 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: To the family in the ER |
The fact is that neuroscience disagrees with you. There's a reason old people get "set in their ways" and young children pick up new languages so easily: The brain becomes less and less able to accept changes and new ways of doing things as you age, just like developing "muscle memory" for repetative actions. Furthermore, you're not in any position to be calling anyone a **** coward, nor do you have any basis to say whether letting your father go at 40 was "just as hard" as it would have been if you were 80. You're not 80 yet and you don't know. |
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| Author: | Aizle [ Sun Dec 16, 2012 2:12 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
All the means is that they have been cowards all their life DE. If you grow up actually understanding the way of the world and cycle of life accepting that it's someone's time to go doesn't require accepting a new change. I'll remember to tell you how you should feel when your parents die *******. |
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| Author: | shuyung [ Sun Dec 16, 2012 2:19 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
Apparently, the things that we remember about each other don't extend all that far. |
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| Author: | Diamondeye [ Sun Dec 16, 2012 4:07 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: |
Aizle wrote: All the means is that they have been cowards all their life DE. If you grow up actually understanding the way of the world and cycle of life accepting that it's someone's time to go doesn't require accepting a new change. No, it doesn't mean that at all. the measure of "cowardice" is not "lack of ability to understand the cycle of life". I'm also interested to know that calling someone a coward overrides scientific reality. Good to know. Quote: I'll remember to tell you how you should feel when your parents die *******. 1. My father already DID die, so shut the **** up. 2. I didn't tell you how you SHOULD feel, I told you you can't possibly known how you WOULD have felt if you were decades older than you are. You aren't walking in their shoes, mine, or even those of an older you. Don't be getting all irate that someone told you how you "should feel" when A) no one said that and B) you aren't in their shoes. You don't want to be told how to feel? Don't be calling people "cowards". You're the judgmental one here, not me. |
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| Author: | Micheal [ Sun Dec 16, 2012 6:55 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
It was relatively easy to let my Dad go when I was 54. He was very ill, had been for awhile. He was not going to get better and his mind was pretty much elsewhere. I saw his passing as the release of the shell, my Dad wasn't really there anymore. He was 81. It wasn't my choice, and the doctors could not save him. When my Grandmother died (I was 36) it was again an easy letting go. She was 89, had terminal cancer and was just starting to be in great pain. She had a stroke, she died a couple days later. Again, the doctors could not save her and with the massive stroke she would have become the one thing she feared more than anything else in life, helpless, dependent upon others. Yes, she was still taking care of herself at 89. I don't think she wanted to survive like that. When I go, I would much rather follow my Grandmother's example. Actually, I would prefer to die suddenly and in my sleep. Least bother for anyone else. |
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| Author: | Lydiaa [ Sun Dec 16, 2012 7:28 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: To the family in the ER |
I just went through this all, and it's never easy. No matter what decision is made. In the end all you can do for the person is to make sure they are as comfortable as possible. As a child or grandchild, you should understand and respect your parent or grandparents personality regarding such problems. It's never easy, but if it's one thing I have learnt through losing someone, it's that the formalities and good intentions are to make the living feel better, not the suffering or the dead. |
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| Author: | Aegnor [ Tue Dec 18, 2012 9:47 am ] |
| Post subject: | |
My grandmother died when she was 88 and it seemed like a blessing, as she was suffering from dementia and had just been diagnosed with what would have been a very painful, and eventually fatal, cancer. When my grandfather died at 102 it sucked because it felt like he still had a lot of living to do. |
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