The Glade 4.0 :: View topic - Family Drama/Problems

Your concern should be for your mother's health and screw the family drama. In reality check mode your opinions or actions on your mother's share of the company means nothing to anyone unless your mom asks for advice.

So, when you visit your mom look for signs that she is drinking regularly, and to excess. Check the recyclable waste can, etc. Tell your mother, gently that you think she should see a grief counselor. Offer to take her. Spend some time with her, more than you usually would. If it is as bad as you think, perhaps she needs o be going to an alcohol recovery program. Check with your local city/county human services and see what is available.

There is a relatively new and growing in popularity kind of counseling called Screening, Brief Intervention, and Referral to Treatment (SBIRT) which may be helpful, if your mother could accept she has a problem. Basically, a trained substance abuse counselor does an assessment of what and how your mother is doing, with her, suggests a few things about how to stop or at least slow way down, and refers her to treatment if deemed necessary.

Be the good son. Alert your father if and when you think the problem is getting out of hand with her.

As for your aunts and uncles, let them do their drama among themselves and try to keep your mom out of it.

Oh, and yes, real people act that way and worse. Sitcoms actually keep it cleaned up so they can put it on TV. People can be pretty horrible.

Author:	Xequecal [ Tue Feb 12, 2013 10:24 am ]
Post subject:	Family Drama/Problems
So, my grandmother recently died. Me, personally, this did not affect much, as she lived in Germany and I've only met her like half a dozen times in my life that I can remember. My mom and her siblings, however, are not taking it well. My grandmother was fairly wealthy and owned a company, and her will left her assets to her kids equally. I don't really know much about German inheritance law, but the way I understand it is it tries to keep functioning businesses intact in cases like this, rather than liquidating it and splitting up the assets. So what's eventually going to happen is one of the siblings is going to receive a controlling interest in the company, and the rest will just control slightly smaller shares of it. Long story short, Mom doesn't care to run the company, since she lives in the US, and having her stake would greatly help whoever gets it in their bid to control the company. So they ALL want it, and the attempts to curry favor and undermine the others are just getting uglier, and uglier, and uglier, to a point that I'm seriously wondering if I'm living in a sitcom, because I did not believe real people acted like this. First off, one of my cousins has a little baby, and of course Grandma loved to play with the baby. Well the baby ended up getting a cold or the flu, and Grandma caught it, and because she was really old it was what eventually ended up killing her. Why is this relevant? Well I just visited my mother and she was already drinking at 9 in the morning. In addition to dealing with her mother dying, apparently one of my aunts has just called her and accused uncle of deliberately sending his son's sick kid to her to kill her in order to get the company. Immediately preceding this, the uncle had tried to convince her that HE should get the share, because aunt is a godless heathen living in sin with a boyfriend and a bastard daughter. (they're Catholic) So, I really don't know what to do here. Dad is always away on business leaving Mom at home by herself a lot, and if she's already getting drunk at 9 AM it's probably really bad. She assured me that she'll be fine and I should go home and sleep (I work nights) and basically shoved me out the door.

Author:	Micheal [ Tue Feb 12, 2013 10:51 am ]
Post subject:
Your concern should be for your mother's health and screw the family drama. In reality check mode your opinions or actions on your mother's share of the company means nothing to anyone unless your mom asks for advice. So, when you visit your mom look for signs that she is drinking regularly, and to excess. Check the recyclable waste can, etc. Tell your mother, gently that you think she should see a grief counselor. Offer to take her. Spend some time with her, more than you usually would. If it is as bad as you think, perhaps she needs o be going to an alcohol recovery program. Check with your local city/county human services and see what is available. There is a relatively new and growing in popularity kind of counseling called Screening, Brief Intervention, and Referral to Treatment (SBIRT) which may be helpful, if your mother could accept she has a problem. Basically, a trained substance abuse counselor does an assessment of what and how your mother is doing, with her, suggests a few things about how to stop or at least slow way down, and refers her to treatment if deemed necessary. Be the good son. Alert your father if and when you think the problem is getting out of hand with her. As for your aunts and uncles, let them do their drama among themselves and try to keep your mom out of it. Oh, and yes, real people act that way and worse. Sitcoms actually keep it cleaned up so they can put it on TV. People can be pretty horrible.

Author:	Lalaas [ Tue Feb 12, 2013 10:53 am ]
Post subject:	Re: Family Drama/Problems
Greedy Sounds like Wish-You-Didn't-See-TV. Sorry to hear about your RL imitating "art."

Author:	Xequecal [ Tue Feb 12, 2013 11:14 am ]
Post subject:	Re:
Micheal wrote: Your concern should be for your mother's health and screw the family drama. In reality check mode your opinions or actions on your mother's share of the company means nothing to anyone unless your mom asks for advice. So, when you visit your mom look for signs that she is drinking regularly, and to excess. Check the recyclable waste can, etc. Tell your mother, gently that you think she should see a grief counselor. Offer to take her. Spend some time with her, more than you usually would. If it is as bad as you think, perhaps she needs o be going to an alcohol recovery program. Check with your local city/county human services and see what is available. There is a relatively new and growing in popularity kind of counseling called Screening, Brief Intervention, and Referral to Treatment (SBIRT) which may be helpful, if your mother could accept she has a problem. Basically, a trained substance abuse counselor does an assessment of what and how your mother is doing, with her, suggests a few things about how to stop or at least slow way down, and refers her to treatment if deemed necessary. Be the good son. Alert your father if and when you think the problem is getting out of hand with her. As for your aunts and uncles, let them do their drama among themselves and try to keep your mom out of it. Oh, and yes, real people act that way and worse. Sitcoms actually keep it cleaned up so they can put it on TV. People can be pretty horrible. The alcohol thing hasn't been an ongoing problem, she rarely drank before this. It's just been the last few days that it's been an issue.

Author:	Diamondeye [ Tue Feb 12, 2013 11:22 am ]
Post subject:	Re: Family Drama/Problems
Then you need to talk to her about it, frankly, but calmly, before it becomes a problem. If your family wants to act like petty assholes, there's not a lot you can do about it. What you can do is support your mom. You can't help an alcoholic who doesn't want help, but you can help someone who isn't already an alcoholic not become one. If I had spoken to my father sooner, things might have been different. I used my most powerful, most persuasive arguments with him as to why he should help himself, and intellectually he agreed, but he was just too set in his ways by then, and too deep in denial. I used my arguments far, far too late. I'm not saying your mom is an alcoholic or will be one. This might last a week and then never happen again. Still, drinking at 9 a.m. is never a good sign. Express your concerns.

The Glade 4.0 https://gladerebooted.net/

Family Drama/Problems https://gladerebooted.net/viewtopic.php?f=7&t=9664	Page 1 of 1

Author:	Micheal [ Tue Feb 12, 2013 3:10 pm ]
Post subject:
What DE said is very true. A lot of alcoholics start that path because of some great personal trauma, like a parent's death among many other triggers. Grief counseling. Find some, get her to it. This is very important to her well being. Also, legal and financial counsel might be good to protect her interests.

Author:	Serienya [ Wed Feb 13, 2013 1:35 pm ]
Post subject:	Re:
Micheal wrote: What DE said is very true. A lot of alcoholics start that path because of some great personal trauma, like a parent's death among many other triggers. Grief counseling. Find some, get her to it. This is very important to her well being. Also, legal and financial counsel might be good to protect her interests. This. My condolences to you and your family. I'm glad that you are there for your mother.

Author:	Corolinth [ Wed Feb 13, 2013 1:47 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Family Drama/Problems
As I recall from previous incarnations of the Glade, Xeq's family has a history of alcohol problems. That does not bode well for his mother drinking at 9am.

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