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| To other parents https://gladerebooted.net/viewtopic.php?f=7&t=9859 |
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| Author: | Serienya [ Thu Apr 18, 2013 8:08 am ] |
| Post subject: | To other parents |
My daughter is in 3rd grade (will be 9 years old next month). When your kids of that age are/were overtired, do they still totally melt down on you? I've been getting screamed at the last few days, usually close to bedtime. (Got kicked in the face too, but I don't think she intended that...) Last week was all standardized testing, and they put a lot of pressure on the kids for it. Amusing moment while trying to get her homework done: "Mom! You don't understand math!!!" (We were just doing a subtraction problem.) Then she decided she was going to run away because "she always makes things worse". I solved that with a big hug and some hot chocolate, and she finally settled down. She's also bringing up that I "don't want what's best for her" because her father doesn't live here. (We divorced in 2008.) We still cooperatively parent, and back each other up, and she splits her time with both of us. She wants both of us under the same roof, which obviously just isn't going to happen. But, is this typical? |
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| Author: | TheRiov [ Thu Apr 18, 2013 8:27 am ] |
| Post subject: | |
It can be. PM me if you want to commiserate. Not sure I have much wisdom, but I do have plenty of experience with this sort of thing. |
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| Author: | Nitefox [ Thu Apr 18, 2013 8:33 am ] |
| Post subject: | |
Yes. |
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| Author: | Diamondeye [ Thu Apr 18, 2013 8:46 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: To other parents |
It stays that way too. My oldest didn't really melt down, but even in high school any time there was standardized testing going on she was miserable for a week. |
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| Author: | Serienya [ Thu Apr 18, 2013 10:15 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: To other parents |
Diamondeye wrote: It stays that way too. My oldest didn't really melt down, but even in high school any time there was standardized testing going on she was miserable for a week. I expect an outburst now and then, but this month has been far worse than usual. It's stressful and draining, esp. with no one else here to tag in and help. |
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| Author: | Micheal [ Thu Apr 18, 2013 2:00 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
Yes. Very much so. Testing limits, expressing her displeasure and her independence (as she sees it) playing control games, and being very aware of her power over you. You also aren't perfect anymore, and never will be again. She knows you and her father aren't getting back together but it is a useful distraction. She loves both of you and doesn't understand why you don't love each other. As I remember your ex husband is rather manipulative. Remember that your daughter is also his daughter and if you let those behaviors continue she will keep and refine any techniques that work. She's learning, experimenting, and developing her coping and control skills. Love her, but teach her that the bad behavior is not going to work on you. She may also benefit from some counseling, if you have the benefits available to afford that, fewer and fewer people do these days. Treat it like a fencing match. Just don't riposte without thinking first. She is at the stage where she will take anything you say in the worst possible way. Be loving and supportive, but also strong, fearless, and consistent. She is young and quick and learns from her peers, both talking to them and watching them. She will continue to experiment to see what works and what doesn't. Hugs. |
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| Author: | Aethien [ Thu Apr 18, 2013 3:08 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
I will fifth that, or whatever. Standardized testing last week, and this. Micheal is wise, as usual. My kids' meltdowns (especially my son's) gravitate toward wanted attention from me, which usually means wrestling for a half-hour before he'll go to bed. That's usually when I get kicked in the face  Good luck. |
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| Author: | Lonedar [ Mon Apr 22, 2013 12:19 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
For more misery loving company, with my oldest turning 10 in a few months: Am there, doing that. |
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| Author: | Serienya [ Tue Apr 23, 2013 7:16 am ] |
| Post subject: | |
Thanks all. Sometimes it's hard to gauge if it's just me dealing with this, or if it's just typical for the age. |
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| Author: | Micheal [ Tue Apr 23, 2013 9:50 am ] |
| Post subject: | |
Wondering that is also very normal. |
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