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PostPosted: Wed Sep 30, 2009 7:48 am 
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Obama announce's $5 billion in research funding

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The money, which comes from Recovery Act funds, is aimed at supporting "12,000 critical research projects -- and tens of thousands of jobs associated with them, ranging from teachers and lab technicians to database managers and scientists," the official wrote in an e-mail.


Follows closely with...

NIH Spends Millions on Wasteful Research Studies

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Lawmakers in Washington are calling on the National Institutes of Health to explain why millions of taxpayer dollars are being spent on seemingly ridiculous research projects, including:

-- how dragon boating can help cancer survivors;
-- how canoes can help cultural identity;
-- how snorting cocaine creates anxiety.

In a letter to NIH director Francis Collins, Rep. Greg Walden (R-OR), the ranking member of the House Subcommittee on Oversight and Investigations, and Rep. Joe Barton (R-TX) on Thursday demanded to know the screening procedures and review criteria used to approve $1.6 billion in stimulus grants and another $20 million in grants from the regular NIH budget.


Porns Surfing rampant at US science foundation

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Employee misconduct investigations, often involving workers accessing pornography from their government computers, grew sixfold last year inside the taxpayer-funded foundation that doles out billions of dollars of scientific research grants, according to budget documents and other records obtained by The Washington Times.

The problems at the National Science Foundation (NSF) were so pervasive they swamped the agency's inspector general and forced the internal watchdog to cut back on its primary mission of investigating grant fraud and recovering misspent tax dollars....

For instance, one senior executive spent at least 331 days looking at pornography on his government computer and chatting online with nude or partially clad women without being detected, the records show.


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PostPosted: Wed Sep 30, 2009 8:52 am 
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WTF is dragon boating?

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PostPosted: Wed Sep 30, 2009 9:36 am 
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Designing a boat to look like a dragon? Killing a dragon and using its skin as a coating for your boat?

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PostPosted: Wed Sep 30, 2009 9:38 am 
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Who the **** cares? Do they have any hooker studies to go with the blow studies?

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PostPosted: Wed Sep 30, 2009 11:11 am 
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Why waste millions when you can waste... billions?


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PostPosted: Wed Sep 30, 2009 4:31 pm 
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Dragonboating:
Spoiler:
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PostPosted: Wed Sep 30, 2009 8:06 pm 
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You're **** kidding me.

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PostPosted: Thu Oct 01, 2009 2:46 am 
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Ugh, some of those studies make me cringe.

On the bright side, at least there is more money for my boss. Maybe. I Hope.

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PostPosted: Thu Oct 01, 2009 4:00 am 
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So, wait...snorting cocaine causes anxiety. Does that mean they had people purposefully snort the stuff to study the effects? And they got government grant money for it? Meaning the tax payers paid for some guy's fix in in the name of science? Wow. Someone needs to be shot.

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PostPosted: Thu Oct 01, 2009 12:49 pm 
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The sad part is, most of those studies get funded at the expense of *legitmate* studies for one reason: People get pissed when one area gets more funding than others.

All three of those sound like social science based projects to me....

And the honest truth is that if you're looking at usable outcomes, the physical sciences and engineering will beat out social sciences every day.

But, in the order of 'being fair', and since NSF/NIH grants are required to make sure that equal grants go to minority/female researchers (more of whom are in the social science than physical science fields), or rather to projects that 'further the work of minorities in the sciences' as a secondary goal, so they have to pick the best of bad lot and fund them.

If we were less PC, and said flat out that research money would go to the projects with the best possibilities of beneficial outcomes and those that can show actual applications to their work, funding would be handled a lot better.

Interestingly enough, NSF/NIH/DOD fellowship grants are funded the same way:

If there are 10 grants to be given, 5 will go to males and 5 to females. If 20 males and 5 females apply, all 5 females will get a grant regardless of how their research proposals stacked up against those submitted by males.

Grants to minorities work similarly. It makes white males the most competitive of the bunch, and leads to some interesting funding situations, where of the 1200 grants 4 will be in applied physics, and 50 will be in social science programs.

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PostPosted: Thu Oct 01, 2009 7:53 pm 
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That is the most stupid way of distributing research funds ever. Still trying to wrap my mind around that...
Isn't that like racism/sexism in a nutshell?


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PostPosted: Thu Oct 01, 2009 10:23 pm 
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Lydiaa wrote:
Isn't that like racism/sexism in a nutshell?


Yes. The problem is that those that benefit don't complain and white males aren't allowed to play a race / sex card.

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PostPosted: Thu Oct 01, 2009 10:38 pm 
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NephyrS wrote:
Interestingly enough, NSF/NIH/DOD fellowship grants are funded the same way:

If there are 10 grants to be given, 5 will go to males and 5 to females. If 20 males and 5 females apply, all 5 females will get a grant regardless of how their research proposals stacked up against those submitted by males.

Grants to minorities work similarly. It makes white males the most competitive of the bunch, and leads to some interesting funding situations, where of the 1200 grants 4 will be in applied physics, and 50 will be in social science programs.



Note to self, when applying for a grant for research, "partner" with a female Native-American midget as the leading name on the project.

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PostPosted: Thu Oct 01, 2009 11:14 pm 
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As if we needed one more handicap to make us uncompetitive to the rest of the world.

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PostPosted: Fri Oct 02, 2009 1:43 am 
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DFK! wrote:
NephyrS wrote:
Interestingly enough, NSF/NIH/DOD fellowship grants are funded the same way:

If there are 10 grants to be given, 5 will go to males and 5 to females. If 20 males and 5 females apply, all 5 females will get a grant regardless of how their research proposals stacked up against those submitted by males.

Grants to minorities work similarly. It makes white males the most competitive of the bunch, and leads to some interesting funding situations, where of the 1200 grants 4 will be in applied physics, and 50 will be in social science programs.



Note to self, when applying for a grant for research, "partner" with a female Native-American midget as the leading name on the project.


You'd have more grant money than you'd know what to do with!

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PostPosted: Fri Oct 02, 2009 8:48 am 
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That's okay. It sounds like the NIH doesn't know what to do with the grant money either!

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PostPosted: Fri Oct 02, 2009 9:28 am 
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Loki wrote:
DFK! wrote:
Note to self, when applying for a grant for research, "partner" with a female Native-American midget as the leading name on the project.


You'd have more grant money than you'd know what to do with!



Hmm.... can I reasonably justify a Ferrari as a "research vehicle?" I wonder...

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PostPosted: Fri Oct 02, 2009 9:39 am 
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DFK! wrote:
Loki wrote:
DFK! wrote:
Note to self, when applying for a grant for research, "partner" with a female Native-American midget as the leading name on the project.


You'd have more grant money than you'd know what to do with!



Hmm.... can I reasonably justify a Ferrari as a "research vehicle?" I wonder...


Study: "Harmful acoustic effects on the nation's tunnel system caused by resonant high performance engines"

Abstract: This study will determine if the sound waves caused by high performance sports car engines can cause permanent damage to the nation's network of tunnels.

In essence, this would make it your job to drive Lamborghinis, Ferraris, Koenigseggs, and the like in tunnels all night. (Traffic is too poor during the day to get a good baseline.) :)

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PostPosted: Fri Oct 02, 2009 9:40 am 
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DFK! wrote:
Hmm.... can I reasonably justify a Ferrari as a "research vehicle?" I wonder...

I have no doubt you could craft a research project that examines the societal responses and effects on self esteem of minority and disadvantaged groups based in regards to mode of transportation.


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PostPosted: Fri Oct 02, 2009 9:59 am 
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If only I was a sociologist.

Ooooh, I don't need to be a sociologist, my Native American female midget can be that.... I just "administer" the research. Yesssss, this will work nicely.



Anybody know any female Native American midget sociologists?

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PostPosted: Fri Oct 02, 2009 11:14 am 
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Stathol wrote:
That's okay. It sounds like the NIH doesn't know what to do with the grant money either!


Zing!

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