How about this... I will personally bake you cookies if you read my link =P although how to smuggle cookies to the US is a different matter =P
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For example your criteria for life - they get assigned to an object over the course of that objects development. Right now I have not reproduced - does that make me not alive - according to how you apply your definition it does. I won't be alive until I reproduce and fulfil that criteria.
If we take a snap shot of you right this moment as you are, you satisfy all the criteria’s for life. Just cause you’re not currently using it, doesn’t mean you don’t have it. A zygote however does not have it no matter how much it may want to use it.
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We don't judge any item as alive or not by a snapshot of its development on its lifecycle. It is either alive at all points or it never was. A thing cannot be non living and then become living. I can only repeat this because it there is no more simple argument that can be made for it. This is why it is insanely infuriating that for whatever reason you continue to rebuke simple truths.
I know this is frustrating for you hun, just as it is frustrating for me. In my training through out uni, it is taught to view certain things at different snap levels. Taking and analysing the contents of a cell is just that, what the cell has at that point in time. Not what it could become or what it was. A person’s stage of cancer is just that, the cancer at that point and come up with a good diagnosis and if simple, then a treatment, not what it could metastases to in the future. Just as you don’t cut out a kidney for someone who has liver cancer no matter how likely, you treat for what you see currently.
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Perhaps I can address this another way. If the first cell of union of sperm and egg are not alive, then of course the next one they produce via mitosis cannot be alive and so no part of the organism is alive. This must then be true for the next two, then the next four and so on. Given that one nonliving thing cannot produce a living thing and that no living thing can consist of entirely nonliving components - how do you judge any human to be alive as we are simply the products of repeating the above pattern?
You’re missing the part where the cells start to specialise into specific systems necessary for life. If it was purely cell division then it would merely be a tumour. What differentiates a zygote from a clump of cell is it’s ability to form into something more. You’re also missing the part where the cells (depending on where they are situated) start to specialise into specific systems, thus eventually giving life via the stimulation of the brain and it’s connection to the rest of the systems.
This also brings up an interesting idea of AI, but that’s another can of worms.