This could have gone under either the "Random Picture" thread in general, what with the bear cavalry and bears with guns, or possibly under the "transparency" thread... but it was just so awesome it deserved its own!
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I am not making this up.
ARLINGTON, Va. -- Could parachute-wearing bears sniff out Osama bin Laden?
That's one suggestion the Pentagon has received from someone who noted, quite correctly, that a bear's sense of smell is much more powerful than a bloodhound's.
"Overnight, Parachute some bears into areas [bin Laden] might be," the innovator wrote. "Attempt to train bears to take off parachutes after landing, or use parachutes that self-destruct after landing."
The bears-in-the-air idea, and scores of others, came from people who clicked on the "contact us" button on the Defense Department's Web site, which allows the general public to ask questions or make suggestions.
Not that the Pentagon needs any particular help in the idea department. Not long ago, for example, the agency spent $2 million to find out whether honey bees could be relied upon to sniff out roadside bombs.
The Defense Department provided Stars and Stripes a sampling of some of the more bizarre feedback it gets through its Web site,
http://www.defense.gov. The authors' names were withheld, but all spelling, grammar and paranoia are authentic.
"Would there be time to construct a Noah's Ark Biosphere in North America if there is an emerging Global War starting in the Middle East?" asked one concerned citizen. "I don't know ... I only know that I have worked on such a project for many years now."
The specifications for the recommended ark are outlined in the Bible, the writer noted, adding that it could preserve a specimen of the human population for up to 300 years.
"Then after the period of ‘Hibernation' people and materials would emerge to repopulate the Earth," the person wrote.
Another correspondent asked for help with some personal issues.
"I still have people torturing my pelvis and lungs with dispersed sound waves and my eye and stomach, hip, pelvic region with other types of sound waves," the person wrote. "When the secret service came out they had a letter all prepared by my mother to force me on disability and not let me live with her and try to leave me penniless and homeless again."
One writer let the Defense Department know of a dream something was about to happen. Likely on a Friday.
"I have no idea what this might be, do you?" the person asked.
And as might be expected, many of those who e-mail the Defense Department have searching questions about the Sept. 11, 2001 terrorist attacks.
"Has anyone at the Department [of] Defense noticed that the Twin Towers were destroyed on 9/11, and that when you dial emergency services in the USA you dial 911?" the person wrote. "If so, is this merely a coincidence?"
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Some of the messages ...
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