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How does an athiest cope with suffering and death?
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Author:  LadyKate [ Fri Dec 03, 2010 10:01 am ]
Post subject:  How does an athiest cope with suffering and death?

Just curious.

If you don't believe in God, how do you cope with misery, pain, trauma, tragedy, suffering, illness, death...all the bad stuff?

A person who believes in God usually prays, reads their bible/Torah/whatever, has faith in God's plan for them, and at the very least can focus on the belief in some sort of heavenly afterlife.

What does an atheist do?

Author:  Arathain Kelvar [ Fri Dec 03, 2010 10:05 am ]
Post subject: 

They cope by waging war on Christmas and eating babies.

Author:  LadyKate [ Fri Dec 03, 2010 10:06 am ]
Post subject: 

I knew it!!

Author:  Foamy [ Fri Dec 03, 2010 10:12 am ]
Post subject:  Re: How does an athiest cope with suffering and death?

Like this...

Link is SFW

Author:  LadyKate [ Fri Dec 03, 2010 10:19 am ]
Post subject: 

All, joking and atheist bashing aside, (fun as it is...), I'd like a serious answer to my question please.

Author:  TheRiov [ Fri Dec 03, 2010 10:24 am ]
Post subject: 

the same way anyone else does. With pain and doubt but knowing that on the other side our strength is internal and we need not rely on a crutch to get us through.

I suppose it would be less scary if we could disconnect our need for logic and intellect and rely on faith. I can't. Faith has always let me down. Intellect and logic have never done so.

Author:  Lex Luthor [ Fri Dec 03, 2010 10:26 am ]
Post subject: 

I don't think most therapists/psychiatrists advise their patients to seek out God. It's not a very effective way of coping.

Author:  Hannibal [ Fri Dec 03, 2010 10:28 am ]
Post subject:  Re:

LadyKate wrote:
All, joking and atheist bashing aside, (fun as it is...), I'd like a serious answer to my question please.


Logically assign blame (if any) to the appropriate parties in the matter. Allow your rational and irrational feelings to run their course. Decide to forgive and forget or harbor ill will, or any combo. Take a nap. Notice every week the issue becomes smaller and smaller. Make a sandwich. Eat aforementioned sandwich.

No matter what you do or do not believe, things happen for a reason. Some assign blame to the magic man in the sky, some to flying pasta, some to (wo)man. Doesnt change the outcome, just helps you cope.

Author:  Aizle [ Fri Dec 03, 2010 10:35 am ]
Post subject:  Re: How does an athiest cope with suffering and death?

Well, I obviously can't speak for every athiest, and similarly just like those who are religious I'm sure that each of us handles those things differently.

For me it's usually a combination of several things.

Often times when I'm stressed out or angry/upset about something, I just need to get away by myself for a bit. I have an office/den at home that I will sometimes retreat to for extended periods of time. My computer is in there, along with various books and other items, but the main important thing is that it's MY space and I can close the door and just sequester myself from the world for a bit if I want. Often times I'll distract myself with games, surfing, porn, whatever to keep my concious mind off what's bothering me, while in the background my subconcious is coming to terms with what's happened. Or sometimes I'll just meditate, force my mind to go blank and just try and relax. Often times I'll go on motorcycle rides as a form of meditation as well.

Along with this process, once the initial shock/outrage is over, I'll begin analysing what happened, thinking it through again and again trying to understand what caused it. For me personally, understanding is the key to my sanity. Understanding what happened allows me to attempt to either correct the situation, mitigate my exposure to it or at a bare minimum accept what's happening so that I can move on.

Often these 2 things will happen in close succession and piece by piece alternating between the 2. Putz around for a while trying to not think about it, then have an epiphany about some aspect of it, think about that for a while until I'm tired of it or have it suitably resolved then go back to not conciously thinking about it for a while, etc.

Another way I cope is friends and family. I have several people who are very close to me that I both trust their judgement and are people that I can literally say anything to. Many times it's just being in their company and doing something fun to show me that the world isn't all **** and angst, other times it's someone to vent to. Also in this group is my wife, who is both friend/family and more. Sometimes it's just enough to be able to snuggle up on the couch or in bed, feel the warmth of her person (both mentally and physically) or (when needed) the swift kick in the *** to stop mopeing around and suck it up.

But in the end, the most important thing for me personally is understanding the why's and how's of the situation, so that I can adapt myself appropriately to deal with the situation. Whether that's understanding why I didn't get the promotion I wanted, knowing why and how my friend got hurt when riding her motorcycle or understanding the illness that killed my father.

Author:  Hopwin [ Fri Dec 03, 2010 10:49 am ]
Post subject:  Re:

LadyKate wrote:
All, joking and atheist bashing aside, (fun as it is...), I'd like a serious answer to my question please.

Just like religious people do. Time. You may take pseudo-comfort in God and his plan but it still hurts like a *****, you still question his plan, etc. Only time heals.

Author:  LadyKate [ Fri Dec 03, 2010 10:51 am ]
Post subject: 

Very insightful answers, thanks. So basically, you just *feel* everything and think it through and process it just like believers do, except instead of your hope coming through faith in God, it comes through faith in "time heals all wounds" and "this too shall pass?"

What about your own mortality?

Author:  Aizle [ Fri Dec 03, 2010 10:57 am ]
Post subject:  Re:

LadyKate wrote:
Very insightful answers, thanks. So basically, you just *feel* everything and think it through and process it just like believers do, except instead of your hope coming through faith in God, it comes through faith in "time heals all wounds" and "this too shall pass?"

What about your own mortality?


My hope comes from seeing the big picture, not through "time" specifically. Time does allow one some perspective, back to the big picture thing, but the key is understanding the issue in the grand scheme of things. So while yes the death of my father sucked, I take that in context to all the other good I see in the world and in my sphere of influence.

As for my own mortality, when I'm dead, it's over. The only thing I can do in my death is try and set a good example to others for how to exit this world and hopefully be at peace that I've had a good and fulfilling life and perhaps left the world a little better than when I got here.

Author:  LadyKate [ Fri Dec 03, 2010 11:01 am ]
Post subject: 

One thing I've always wondered....if you don't believe in an afterlife and death is truly the end of your existence, then why bother doing the right things? Why not be selfish, rob and steal or step on others to get ahead because wouldn't material gain and physical comforts be your greatest source of joy?
I ask because I always figured thats what I'd do if I stopped believing in God...become some sort of pirate and live a fast and dangerous but cushy lifestyle.
I mean, as long as you don't get caught on earth, there are no eternal consequences so why do good when you can just do for yourself?

Author:  Hannibal [ Fri Dec 03, 2010 11:02 am ]
Post subject:  Re:

LadyKate wrote:
What about your own mortality?


I dont really care about it. Im getting older. My metabolism is slowing. Im getting hair in funny places. Oh well, we all die eventually. I believe in a nondescript higher power, but dont know if we are even a blip on its radar. I find it somewhat arrogant that faiths believe that an omnipotent being would be so focused on a single group of believers on a single planet in a vast universe.

Author:  TheRiov [ Fri Dec 03, 2010 11:02 am ]
Post subject: 

Everyone faces the void--I accept that. I just hope the world is better for my having been in it. I hope my legacy lives on. I hope I left some mark. But in the end, I must accept that the universe will go on without me.

I suppose the real issue is acceptance. Believers have to accept God's judgment and knowlege that when its their time, its their time. I have to accept a slightly different outcome. But It still boils down to accepting what cannot be changed.

Author:  Lex Luthor [ Fri Dec 03, 2010 11:09 am ]
Post subject:  Re:

TheRiov wrote:
Everyone faces the void--I accept that. I just hope the world is better for my having been in it. I hope my legacy lives on. I hope I left some mark. But in the end, I must accept that the universe will go on without me.


They already cured ageing in mice, r-tard.

Author:  TheRiov [ Fri Dec 03, 2010 11:09 am ]
Post subject:  Re:

LadyKate wrote:
One thing I've always wondered....if you don't believe in an afterlife and death is truly the end of your existence, then why bother doing the right things? Why not be selfish, rob and steal or step on others to get ahead because wouldn't material gain and physical comforts be your greatest source of joy?
I ask because I always figured thats what I'd do if I stopped believing in God...become some sort of pirate and live a fast and dangerous but cushy lifestyle.
I mean, as long as you don't get caught on earth, there are no eternal consequences so why do good when you can just do for yourself?


Because morality DOESNT stem from God. I have no desire to harm others. Compassion, empathy, sympathy are not the sole perview of people of faith. They're part of sapience and sentience. Perhaps this is egotistical of me, but in some ways athiests are perhaps more moral-- when we help others its not because we expect to get a reward, or because we fear eteranal consequences.

Author:  TheRiov [ Fri Dec 03, 2010 11:09 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Re:

Lex Luthor wrote:
TheRiov wrote:
Everyone faces the void--I accept that. I just hope the world is better for my having been in it. I hope my legacy lives on. I hope I left some mark. But in the end, I must accept that the universe will go on without me.


They already cured ageing in mice, r-tard.

even if you stopped aging, accident or disease would get you in the end.

Author:  shuyung [ Fri Dec 03, 2010 11:11 am ]
Post subject:  Re: How does an athiest cope with suffering and death?

Foamy wrote:
Like this...

Link is SFW

Heh, you'd think that ad space in Manhattan would be more expensive, and yet the Catholics got theirs up for $1500 less than the Atheists.

Author:  Lex Luthor [ Fri Dec 03, 2010 11:12 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Re:

TheRiov wrote:
Lex Luthor wrote:
TheRiov wrote:
Everyone faces the void--I accept that. I just hope the world is better for my having been in it. I hope my legacy lives on. I hope I left some mark. But in the end, I must accept that the universe will go on without me.


They already cured ageing in mice, r-tard.

even if you stopped aging, accident or disease would get you in the end.


That's not true, technology is advancing very quickly.

Author:  Müs [ Fri Dec 03, 2010 11:12 am ]
Post subject:  Re:

LadyKate wrote:
One thing I've always wondered....if you don't believe in an afterlife and death is truly the end of your existence, then why bother doing the right things? Why not be selfish, rob and steal or step on others to get ahead because wouldn't material gain and physical comforts be your greatest source of joy?
I ask because I always figured thats what I'd do if I stopped believing in God...become some sort of pirate and live a fast and dangerous but cushy lifestyle.
I mean, as long as you don't get caught on earth, there are no eternal consequences so why do good when you can just do for yourself?


There's more to life than stuff. I don't need God to tell me to be a good person or else.

Author:  Lex Luthor [ Fri Dec 03, 2010 11:13 am ]
Post subject: 

As an agnostic/atheist, I don't care about "stuff". I mostly like browsing the Internet or working on interesting programming problems.

Author:  Taskiss [ Fri Dec 03, 2010 11:18 am ]
Post subject: 

I pretty much talk to God just to give thanks. I deal with issues in my life by making plans.

Author:  Vindicarre [ Fri Dec 03, 2010 11:21 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Re:

Hannibal wrote:
I find it somewhat arrogant that faiths believe that an omnipotent being would be so focused on a single group of believers on a single planet in a vast universe.


I guess I've never seen it as arrogance. One, you've got the whole omnipotent thing going, so it's not a real issue with God having too much on his plate. Two, I don't think it is arrogant for children to believe that their parents care about them, and want them to do well.

TheRiov wrote:
LadyKate wrote:
One thing I've always wondered....if you don't believe in an afterlife and death is truly the end of your existence, then why bother doing the right things? Why not be selfish, rob and steal or step on others to get ahead because wouldn't material gain and physical comforts be your greatest source of joy?
I ask because I always figured thats what I'd do if I stopped believing in God...become some sort of pirate and live a fast and dangerous but cushy lifestyle.
I mean, as long as you don't get caught on earth, there are no eternal consequences so why do good when you can just do for yourself?


Because morality DOESNT stem from God. I have no desire to harm others. Compassion, empathy, sympathy are not the sole perview of people of faith. They're part of sapience and sentience. Perhaps this is egotistical of me, but in some ways athiests are perhaps more moral-- when we help others its not because we expect to get a reward, or because we fear eteranal consequences.


Or maybe morality DOES stem from God, and it's intrinsic in you (there is that whole sapience and sentience bit...), whether you like it or not. I agree that Compassion, empathy, sympathy are not the sole perview of people of faith, but maybe atheists expect to get a reward when they help others, since their concern is rooted in the things of this world, maybe they strive for their reward by seeking the approval of people.

Author:  Aizle [ Fri Dec 03, 2010 11:24 am ]
Post subject:  Re:

LadyKate wrote:
One thing I've always wondered....if you don't believe in an afterlife and death is truly the end of your existence, then why bother doing the right things? Why not be selfish, rob and steal or step on others to get ahead because wouldn't material gain and physical comforts be your greatest source of joy?
I ask because I always figured thats what I'd do if I stopped believing in God...become some sort of pirate and live a fast and dangerous but cushy lifestyle.
I mean, as long as you don't get caught on earth, there are no eternal consequences so why do good when you can just do for yourself?


The answer is really very simple. Because being "good" is infinitely more rewarding than being "bad".

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