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Judge: Your relationship with your child is over with
https://gladerebooted.net/viewtopic.php?f=8&t=6031
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Author:  Dash [ Tue Apr 19, 2011 1:33 pm ]
Post subject:  Judge: Your relationship with your child is over with

The Dad encouraged his teen son to fight on camera. I'll use the word allegedly, although I dont see it disputed, allegedly the son was bullied verbally on facebook etc and the kids came to his house to fight him.

Anyway, the Dad encouraged him to fight and got pretty worked up. He was hit with child abuse and the Judge declares his relationship with his children over.

http://abcnews.go.com/US/florida-dad-ph ... d=13405656

Quote:
The Florida father charged with child abuse after being caught on tape encouraging his teenage son to fight another teen claims he was protecting his son from bullies.

"I apologize for what I said but I do stand behind protecting my son," Philip Scott Struthers said exclusively on "Good Morning America."

A video released by worldstarhiphop.com shows Struthers, 41, coaching his 16-year-old son, Jake, through a fistfight.

When his son throws a punch, Struther yells, "Good."

When it appears Jake has pinned the other teen on the ground, Struther yells, "Punch his eyes out...Slam his head on the ground."

"When I see that video too, I'm just as disgusted at the things I said. What everybody doesn't know is what transpired six months prior to that...threats to my son, vulgar... comments said on Facebook and other social media sites," Struthers said.

Struthers and his wife, Kimberley, said that they decided to bypass school officials and handle the bullying problem themselves. For six months, the family told their son not to fight.

"We found that the schools just seemed to make the matters worse. There doesn't seem to be anonymity with going in and discussing these things. It gets back to the perpetrators," Kimberly Struthers said. "We've always told Jake this too will go away just like it's gone away before…ignore it, you're not going to fight."

Things didn't get better. Jake says that his rival accompanied by a group of boys showed up at the famiy's Tampa, Fla., home.

"I came home from school and he was in the front yard and there were a bunch of kids there…I knew he was coming over and I knew it was going to happen either way and I didn't want it to happen," Jake said.

Jake, who said he's never been in a fight before, decided to fight the other teenager. He defended his father.

"I know what he did was wrong…he was just looking out for me, making sure no one else would jump in the fight," Jake said.

Philip Struthers was arrested by the Hillsborough County Sheriff's office for child abuse and contributing to the delinquency of a minor on April 12.

In court, the judge ordered Jake's father away from all minors including his own children.

"Your relationship with your child is over with. You cannot see, live with or communicate with your minor children," Judge Walter Heinrich said.

Philip Struthers said that nobody was hurt in the fight and in the end the boys shook hands.

"Things happened quickly. The emotions overwhelmed me. I was just caught up in the moment. I absolutely regret saying those things," Struthers said.

Author:  Lex Luthor [ Tue Apr 19, 2011 1:37 pm ]
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Boys will be boys.

Author:  LadyKate [ Tue Apr 19, 2011 1:39 pm ]
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Wow. I really don't know what to think, honestly.

Author:  Nitefox [ Tue Apr 19, 2011 1:42 pm ]
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Teaching your son to defend and stand up for himself...no problem.

Going overboard and encouraging him to seriously harm someone...problem.

Author:  LadyKate [ Tue Apr 19, 2011 1:45 pm ]
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Yeah, if the dad just stood by and refereed that would be one thing I suppose. I watched the video and it was like the dad was one step away from beating the crap out of that kid himself.
Still, I thought the judge's sentence was a little harsh. Taking all his parental rights away and charging him with child abuse? I don't know about that.

Author:  Rynar [ Tue Apr 19, 2011 1:46 pm ]
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Fathers are no longer allowed to teach their sons how to fight to defend themselves? Asinine. Judge Walter Heinrich needs to be disbarred and removed from the bench.

This is the only thing that stops bullying.

Author:  Lex Luthor [ Tue Apr 19, 2011 1:47 pm ]
Post subject:  Re:

LadyKate wrote:
Yeah, if the dad just stood by and refereed that would be one thing I suppose. I watched the video and it was like the dad was one step away from beating the crap out of that kid himself.
Still, I thought the judge's sentence was a little harsh. Taking all his parental rights away and charging him with child abuse? I don't know about that.


Well would you want someone like him watching over your kid? He's clearly not fit to parent, take the kid away.

Author:  Aizle [ Tue Apr 19, 2011 1:49 pm ]
Post subject:  Re:

Nitefox wrote:
Teaching your son to defend and stand up for himself...no problem.

Going overboard and encouraging him to seriously harm someone...problem.


This.

Author:  Aizle [ Tue Apr 19, 2011 1:50 pm ]
Post subject:  Re:

LadyKate wrote:
Yeah, if the dad just stood by and refereed that would be one thing I suppose. I watched the video and it was like the dad was one step away from beating the crap out of that kid himself.
Still, I thought the judge's sentence was a little harsh. Taking all his parental rights away and charging him with child abuse? I don't know about that.


First off, a responsible parent is going to stop the fight before it starts.

That said, teaching the kid to stand up for himself for when the parent ISN'T around, is completely fine and frankly good parenting.

Author:  Lex Luthor [ Tue Apr 19, 2011 1:52 pm ]
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The best solution to bullying is to destroy the opponent in unarmed combat. However, when there is an adult around this not necessary and it's actually incredibly bad parenting for him to allow it to continue.

Author:  LadyKate [ Tue Apr 19, 2011 1:55 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Re:

Lex Luthor wrote:
LadyKate wrote:
Yeah, if the dad just stood by and refereed that would be one thing I suppose. I watched the video and it was like the dad was one step away from beating the crap out of that kid himself.
Still, I thought the judge's sentence was a little harsh. Taking all his parental rights away and charging him with child abuse? I don't know about that.


Well would you want someone like him watching over your kid? He's clearly not fit to parent, take the kid away.


I'm not so sure about that, Lex. I was raised to "never ever ever fight back" and "turn the other cheek." As a consequence of that, I've been walked all over and abused and bullied my whole life.
I find myself teaching my son the same things I learned about "being the nice guy" when it comes to minor incidents of emotional and verbal bullying...I wonder if I'm doing him any favors and I wonder if perhaps I wouldn't have benefited from some sort of assertiveness training as a kid...personally, I could see my son's father doing the same thing that this guy did, I can't say for certain whether I would feel bad about it. When bullying escalates to the point of physical violence, sometimes you just have to respond with violence in kind.
I learned that lesson the hard way as an adult. Sure wish I would have had a parent teach me that.

I wouldn't say the guy "is not fit to parent" but some counseling and anger management would probably be a good idea. He should teach his son to stand up for himself without losing control.

Author:  Rynar [ Tue Apr 19, 2011 2:03 pm ]
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When I was a kid I was was punished equally for bullying and for not standing up for myself and my younger siblings to older children who were bullying us..

It served me and my family very well.

Author:  TheRiov [ Tue Apr 19, 2011 2:27 pm ]
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that explains a great deal.

Author:  LadyKate [ Tue Apr 19, 2011 2:29 pm ]
Post subject:  Re:

TheRiov wrote:
that explains a great deal.


Does it? I wonder if we can tell by people's posting styles here, how their parents raised them....who was spanked, who wasn't, who was grounded, who was taught to be assertive, who had a bullying parent....

Author:  Rynar [ Tue Apr 19, 2011 2:30 pm ]
Post subject:  Re:

TheRiov wrote:
that explains a great deal.


Care to expound on that, or are you just here to throw around insults, and then pitch a **** fit when I slap you around for it?

I'm betting on the second. You may be a coward, but atleast you're consistant.

Author:  TheRiov [ Tue Apr 19, 2011 2:33 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Re:

Rynar wrote:
TheRiov wrote:
that explains a great deal.


Care to expound on that, or are you just here to throw around insults, and then pitch a **** fit when I slap you around for it?

Since I didn't actually insult you (you perceived one, but none existed) ......

That said, your REACTION to my statment actually illustrates a point nicely. That you perceive someone bullying you and reacted with a threat of violence and insults.

Interesting.

Author:  Nitefox [ Tue Apr 19, 2011 2:37 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Re:

TheRiov wrote:
Rynar wrote:
TheRiov wrote:
that explains a great deal.


Care to expound on that, or are you just here to throw around insults, and then pitch a **** fit when I slap you around for it?

Since I didn't actually insult you (you perceived one, but none existed) ......

That said, your REACTION to my statment actually illustrates a point nicely. That you perceive someone bullying you and reacted with a threat of violence and insults.

Interesting.



You two have no reason to like or respect each other, it makes more sense that you were being an insulting smartass than just making a general observation. Sure looked like you were provoking him for no reason other than to be a jerk.

Author:  Rynar [ Tue Apr 19, 2011 2:38 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Re:

TheRiov wrote:
Rynar wrote:
TheRiov wrote:
that explains a great deal.


Care to expound on that, or are you just here to throw around insults, and then pitch a **** fit when I slap you around for it?

Since I didn't actually insult you (you perceived one, but none existed) ......

That said, your REACTION to my statment actually illustrates a point nicely. That you perceive someone bullying you and reacted with a threat of violence and insults.

Interesting.


So you've abandoned your entire posting history in regards to me? I should disregard our last interaction, where completely unprovoked, you suggested I stick a gun up my *** and pull the trigger numerous times because you dislike me? If you've changed your tune, that's great, and I forgive you. If you haven't, well...

Author:  RangerDave [ Tue Apr 19, 2011 2:42 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Re:

LadyKate wrote:
Does it? I wonder if we can tell by people's posting styles here, how their parents raised them....who was spanked, who wasn't, who was grounded, who was taught to be assertive, who had a bullying parent....

Indeed. I'll bet no one here would guess that I grew up with an alcoholic, womanizing father and a mother who was a former prostitute, or that they used to put me in a burlap bag and beat me with reeds when I was insolent. It wasn't that bad, to be honest. From my perspective at the time, it was pretty standard, really. For example, I only recently realized how odd it was that they ritualistically shaved my testicles when I turned fourteen. Anyway, to each their own, I guess.

Author:  TheRiov [ Tue Apr 19, 2011 2:43 pm ]
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Just as an aside my original thought was a stun gun I wanted you to insert, feeling it would be far more painful. Might have been something to do with the regular assertions against my character.

But you DO have an aggressive posting style. As far as you're concerned thats not a weakness so why on earth would you take it as an insult.

My posting style DOES tend to be a little more passive aggressive. I rarely resort to verbal insults or name calling. Then again, I wasn't raised to solve my problems with violence.

Author:  TheRiov [ Tue Apr 19, 2011 2:44 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Re:

RangerDave wrote:
LadyKate wrote:
Does it? I wonder if we can tell by people's posting styles here, how their parents raised them....who was spanked, who wasn't, who was grounded, who was taught to be assertive, who had a bullying parent....

Indeed. I'll bet no one here would guess that I grew up with an alcoholic, womanizing father and a mother who was a former prostitute, or that they used to put me in a burlap bag and beat me with reeds when I was insolent. It wasn't that bad, to be honest. From my perspective at the time, it was pretty standard, really. For example, I only recently realized how odd it was that they ritualistically shaved my testicles when I turned fourteen. Anyway, to each their own, I guess.

Thanks, Doctor E.

Author:  LadyKate [ Tue Apr 19, 2011 2:48 pm ]
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Who is Doctor E?

Author:  Rynar [ Tue Apr 19, 2011 2:50 pm ]
Post subject:  Re:

TheRiov wrote:
Just as an aside my original thought was a stun gun I wanted you to insert, feeling it would be far more painful. Might have been something to do with the regular assertions against my character.

But you DO have an aggressive posting style. As far as you're concerned thats not a weakness so why on earth would you take it as an insult.

My posting style DOES tend to be a little more passive aggressive. I rarely resort to verbal insults or name calling. Then again, I wasn't raised to solve my problems with violence.


So? Are you going to expound or not? Also, how do you know if my punishments were physical? How do you know what my parents thought "standing up to bullies" meant? Do you think it was a bad thing that my parents raised me and my siblings not to be bullies?

Edit: I'd also like to note that telling someone to jam a gun up their *** and pull the trigger is not exactly running a clinic on non-violence.

Author:  RangerDave [ Tue Apr 19, 2011 2:50 pm ]
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Doctor Evil, from Austin Powers. I was paraphrasing a scene where he describes his upbringing. :)

Author:  LadyKate [ Tue Apr 19, 2011 2:51 pm ]
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Ah. Ok. Hahaha, carry on. :)

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