Damn man I had no clue it went this far. Hey for what its worth y'all still got me to kick around. New year new page.

Your parents have shown that they don't respect your wishes for your children, and also that they're crazy. The leverage you have over your parents is your presence in their lives. Use it. Don't go visit them on holidays. Oonagh's family is sane and normal. Hang out with them.

Foamy, I'm very sorry your holiday had to be ruined this way.

I'd say that you really shouldn't try to "go about" anything. The ball is in their court. If I were you, I'd just ignore them until they go from "come on over" as if nothing had happened to "why won't you come over anymore?". Then, tell them that it's because of this incident, and you won't discuss it any further unless its with a counselor, and if they want to "But---" just repeat it and leave it at that.

Either they'll acknowledge their problems or they won't.

Foamy, I'm very sorry your holiday had to be ruined this way.

I'd say that you really shouldn't try to "go about" anything. The ball is in their court. If I were you, I'd just ignore them until they go from "come on over" as if nothing had happened to "why won't you come over anymore?". Then, tell them that it's because of this incident, and you won't discuss it any further unless its with a counselor, and if they want to "But---" just repeat it and leave it at that.

Either they'll acknowledge their problems or they won't.

Allow me to give you a perspective of your situation, from somewhere on Oonagh's side of the family. Let's say, Oonagh's brother.

Western culture, with its focus on nuclear family, tends to overlook one particularly significant aspect of marriage. When you marry, you are trading families. That's why Oonagh's mother and father are your mother-in-law and father-in-law. You are another son. That's how that works.

My sister-in-law has crazy parents. They are a threat to my nieces and nephew. You have raised concerns that your own parents are dangerously negligent to your children. You owe it not just to your children, not just to yourself and your wife, but also to Oonagh's family to not allow your parents to bring harm to your children.

On top of that, both my brother's kids and his wife are my family, too. Her parents have crazied at her one too many times. She should not put up with that bullshit anymore. That's not what the holidays are for. Now she spends them with us. She has a family that does family things with her. She doesn't suffer for not seeing her parents anymore.

That's the only leverage you have as an adult. As long as you keep visiting your parents in their house, they will never change. It's still their house, and their rules. That clashes with your child, your rules. So your child doesn't go to their house. Period. You're a grown man. You have a place where you get to set the rules, it's called your house, and that's the only place they get to see you or your children. If they can't behave themselves, they get the **** out.

While they're acting the fool, you've got more family who don't treat you that way. Spend your holidays with them. Do your family stuff with them. Spend your family time with the family that treats you right. I know it works. We've done it for my sister-in-law. You're not an outsider. You're not some guy who married Oonagh. You're their son, their brother, and their uncle. You're family, too.

It's still their house, and their rules. That clashes with your child, your rules. So your child doesn't go to their house. Period. You're a grown man. You have a place where you get to set the rules, it's called your house, and that's the only place they get to see you or your children. If they can't behave themselves, they get the **** out.