The Glade 4.0

Seven Classic Star Wars Characters Who Totally Dropped the Ball
"His fat, sweaty blood is on your hands, Princess."

#6 Everything Jabba the Hutt Does

For an intergalactic gangster, Jabba the Hutt seems to be about as much of a criminal mastermind as Robin Williams in Jack. He holds a Rebel officer prisoner, enslaves the Rebel princess and laughs in the face of a Jedi Knight. This would be a sterling approach if Jabba were trying to go to war with the Rebellion, but seeing as how he's just a sleazy racketeer whose entire operation amounts to little more than a hotel/casino on Tatooine, he probably could've used a few more advisors. Preferably one that doesn't look like a vampire penis.

Why It Was a Bad Call:
First of all, Jabba holds two high-profile prisoners but never demands a ransom of any kind, and in fact refuses money when it is offered to him. Unless he funds his operation with bounced checks and jellybeans, this is counterproductive. Keeping the prisoners brings the Jedi heat to his palace, which in turn leads to the worst decision Jabba makes in the film: refusing Luke's offer.

Luke tells Jabba up front that if the prisoners aren't released, he will kill everything that moves and take them anyway. A Rancor and a porcine guard later, this offer is generously repeated, at a point where it is now clear that Luke is not just some dumbass in a stolen Jedi robe. But again, Jabba opts for the prideful route, which makes us wonder how he ever managed to succeed in organized crime in the first place.

About seven minutes later, every member of Jabba's operation has either been exploded, stabbed, shot, strangled or tossed into a giant sand vagina. Clearly he was never meant to manage a Domino's Pizza let alone hold the reigns of an underworld empire.

{snip}

I'm pretty sure I've pointed all this out to you before, too.{snip}

Antilles first appears in A New Hope during the Rebels' Death Star attack briefing. In this scene Wedge is portrayed by Colin Higgins and voiced by David Ankrum, who dubs the character throughout the film. Denis Lawson plays the character for the remaining scenes filmed in the X-wing cockpit.[1]...

Why He Doesn't Belong:

Did the first gay Star Wars character have to be a creepy, purple, gangster slug? We're already trying to justify the fantastically racist Jar Jar Binks, the mincing gilded nancybot C-3PO, the vaguely Jewish/Middle Eastern swindler Watto and the fact that Darth Vader suddenly started speaking with the voice of a black man when he turned evil. Give us a little help here, guys.

No wonder I've always been so confused by this. I guess I realized that the person Luke was talking to as "Wedge" during the briefing is not the same person as the "Wedge" who flies around during the attack, but it never quite registered. Interesting.

Yeah, I kinda get the feeling you're had this conversation before, even if not with Numbuk.

Interesting, though, I've just (32 years later) discovered the source of some of my confusion:



No wonder I've always been so confused by this. I guess I realized that the person Luke was talking to as "Wedge" during the briefing is not the same person as the "Wedge" who flies around during the attack, but it never quite registered. Interesting.