The Glade 4.0

So, recently I've been thinking about what I would do if someone was trying to break into my apartment and hurt me and my girlfriend. How would I protect myself? What would I pick up as a weapon? And so I started to wonder what would be the best weapon for self defense in this situation. Note that I'm a 165 lb male and I have a small girlfriend to look out for too. Also, I don't own/want to own a gun at this point in my life, so let's just assume that's off limits.

My first thought was a baseball bat. It would certainly even the playing field against someone who outweighed me. It would also give me some reach if they had a knife or something like that. It might be a little big/slow for close quarters though. Maybe something like a nightstick would be better?

A knife is another option of course. I have plenty of them lying around. However, I'm wary of knives because if I mess up or I'm overpowered, it could easily be used against me with the potential for great harm. This seems less likely to occur with a baseball bat... but maybe that's just me. A knife is also escalating the confrontation to the point where things are more likely to be deadly.. something I definitely want to avoid. In the event that I did go with a knife, would I choose my big-ass chef's knife or a small pocket knife? The smaller knife would probably be easier to wield... but a big knife might be more intimidating. Ideally whatever I chose to confront my attacker with would be enough to just make them run away without a fight.

Pepper spray is another idea. I think I have some laying around somewhere. It would probably compliment a lot of other weapons too.

Anyway, don't take me too seriously on this. I'm not actually worried about this happening. I know it's very rare for someone to break into a home looking to fight. And my first defense would probably be locking myself in a room and calling the police. But I still think it's interesting to think about. Doesn't everyone daydream about these scenarios? I also know we have lots of people on this forum who are into this sort of thing.

So, what do you guys think?

A dog.

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A burglar breaks into a home. As he's shining the flashlight around looking for valuables, he hears a voice from the darkness.

"Jesus knows you're here."

The man, terrified, turns off his flashlight and remains deathly still. After some time passes and he hears nothing more, he turns on the flashlight and begins disconnecting the wires from the stereo.

"Jesus is watching you."

"Who is that?" the man says out loud. He shines the flashlight around, until it comes to rest on a parrot in a cage across the room. He starts to laugh. "Dumb bird. Had me scared."

The bird replies, "Be warned, He is watching you."

The man looks confused, "And who the hell are you?"

"Pretty Moses."

"Ha, what type of idiot names their bird Moses?"

"The same type of idiot that names their rottweiler Jesus."

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Well Ali Baba had them forty thieves, Scheherezade had a thousand tales
But master you in luck 'cause up your sleeves you got a brand of magic never fails...
...Mister Aladdin, sir, What will your pleasure be?
Let me take your order, Jot it down -You ain't never had a friend like me
█ ♣ █

None of these will do you any good if the person shows up with a gun and is intent on doing harm. If you want to be prepared, then be prepared. If you're afraid of guns then take a gun safety class using a rental. That should help alleviate your fears.

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The Dude abides.

I don't know. In the close quarters of a home, in the dark, in a house layout that you know and the intruder does not, I'd give pretty good odds on taking a burglar by surprise with a blunt instrument or a blade. If you must have range, a taser might be a good choice.

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Well Ali Baba had them forty thieves, Scheherezade had a thousand tales
But master you in luck 'cause up your sleeves you got a brand of magic never fails...
...Mister Aladdin, sir, What will your pleasure be?
Let me take your order, Jot it down -You ain't never had a friend like me
█ ♣ █

The dog suggestion is probably the most effective. The statistics are insane at how much just owning a dog, no matter the breed, will reduce the changes of your home being broken into.

If you're looking for something in-animate then a good lock on the door, a cell phone and pepper spray is probably the most effective with the least amount of effort.

Anything that can really be considered a weapon would require training and regular practice to not be more of a liability instead of a help IMHO.

x2. Even a small dog, since you're in an apartment, just find one with a BIG bark. Yippers need not apply.

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Yeah, a dog sounds pretty good. Unfortunately, they require a lot of maintenance and my current apartment complex doesn't allow them.

I like your suggestion Aizle. Reinforcing my bedroom door and putting a good lock on it would probably work well. Home improvement projects are not very exciting to daydream about though. =P

small, lightweight, metal baseball bat.

Have a shovel handy for your girlfriend to use also..

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Dream as if you'll live forever...
...Live as if you'll die tomorrow

Vivere Senza Rimpianti

AOS?

The best (non gun) combo - taser + CS foam

User the taser to incap and hit in the face with a thick shaving cream like coating of CS foam.

The foam doesn't disperse as fast into the air so it allows more time to retreat from the attacker to a position of safety and be less affected by the time authorities arrive. It also gives the bonus of having two forms handy in case of multiple attackers. (Hopefully neither of you has any allergy / breathing issues).

If you really are concerned however go out and get a minimum barrel length mossberg 500 and each of you shoot it at the range 25+ times.

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"...but there exists also in the human heart a depraved taste for equality, which impels the weak to attempt to lower the powerful to their own level and reduces men to prefer equality in slavery to inequality with freedom." - De Tocqueville

nunchucks

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Ron Paul 2012

As both deterrent and front line defense.

When you eventually get a place able to maintain a dog anyway.

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The U. S. Constitution doesn't guarantee happiness, only the pursuit of it. You have to catch up with it yourself. B. Franklin

"A mind needs books like a sword needs a whetstone." -- Tyrion Lannister, A Game of Thrones

Christopher Chance ...

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Yes, although...i'm not sure that show is as good this season as it was last. While the last couple episodes about Ilsa Pucci have been spectacular, mostly she's been an irritating and useless addition to the show. Still, if they keep up the quality, she will grow on me.

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Well Ali Baba had them forty thieves, Scheherezade had a thousand tales
But master you in luck 'cause up your sleeves you got a brand of magic never fails...
...Mister Aladdin, sir, What will your pleasure be?
Let me take your order, Jot it down -You ain't never had a friend like me
█ ♣ █

I vote for sweet break-dancing moves.

Mitch Rapp

(why do I read those books?)

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The U. S. Constitution doesn't guarantee happiness, only the pursuit of it. You have to catch up with it yourself. B. Franklin

"A mind needs books like a sword needs a whetstone." -- Tyrion Lannister, A Game of Thrones

A chipping wedge.

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In time, this too shall pass.

I don't know about statistics, but I do know what I see. I watched many episodes of "To Catch a Thief", a show where professional burglars break into people's houses (with their consent, while they watch from closed circuit tv). And I can't count how many times people said "Oh, he's in for a surprise. I have big, mean dogs."

And what happens? One of two things:

1. The dogs bark like crazy, but the second he's actually INSIDE the house the dogs think to themselves "Oh, if he's actually now inside the house he must belong here. I'll stop barking and leave him alone."

or

2. If the dogs actually still want him out of the house, he just grabs something he can herd the dogs with and herds them into a room of the house and out of the way.

Dogs did d!ck to thwarting him. Every time.

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Les Zombis et les Loups-Garous!

Ames was the one I was skeptical about, but she's grown on me nicely. I wouldn't miss Ilsa if she made an exit, but mostly she's relatively harmlessly out of the way for the bulk of the show.

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"Aaaah! Emotions are weird!" - Amdee
"... Mirrorshades prevent the forces of normalcy from realizing that one is crazed and possibly dangerous. They are the symbol of the sun-staring visionary, the biker, the rocker, the policeman, and similar outlaws." - Bruce Sterling, preface to Mirrorshades

Your best bet in this scenario is to barricade yourself in a room. Also if you live in a safe area then the chances of this are much lower than dying in a car crash or getting a heart attack. I would rather upgrade my computer than buy a weapon for this purpose.

In order:

1. Dog

2. Pepper spray

Getting into hand-to-hand combat with an intruder, even with a knife or club of some sort is just asking for trouble unless you're quite proficient at it. Few homes are large and complex enough that you will gain meaningful surprise, and you are unlikely to be able to remain totally silent so as to achieve it. If you want to keep one under your bed as a last resort if someone gets into your bedroom, fine, but I think you would find the physical-psychological effects of fighting someone using a knife or club to be... detrimental to your chances of success. It is not an easy thing to kill someone at that range, and make no mistake, if you are using those sorts of weapons you are using lethal force.

TASERs are not approriate for self defense because they incapacitate someone only as long as current is applied, you get only one shot with the darts, and there is a good chance they won't stick in some types of clothing. They are for making arrests, not self-defense. You are very likely to have a very angry burglar on your hands.

Really, I agree with Elmo's shotgun suggestion. You can learn to use a shotgun easily, it requires very little ammunition, and used shotguns can be had at very reasonable prices. When you say "I don't want to own a gun at this point in my life" that sounds as if you're simply placing guns off limits for reasons you really can't explain. Your choice, but if you really are concerned about defending your home, defend it. Don't half-ass it.

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"Hysterical children shrieking about right-wing anything need to go sit in the corner and be quiet while the adults are talking."

If you go with any firearm, get the shotgun. I've seen in other forums about this topic that you should remain in a defensive position with the shotgun pointed at the only direction he intruder could approach from. Never go out looking for him.

A dog is like a car alarm. Most of the time the noise alone is enough to scare away a would-be burglar, who is aiming to be unobtrusive. A determined thief on a mission can still get in.

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