The Glade 4.0

"Turn the lights down, the party just got wilder."
It is currently Sun Nov 24, 2024 5:50 am

All times are UTC - 6 hours [ DST ]




Post new topic Reply to topic  [ 11 posts ] 
Author Message
PostPosted: Sat Jan 22, 2011 12:03 pm 
Offline
User avatar

Joined: Wed Sep 02, 2009 7:59 pm
Posts: 9412
BOSTON -- Duty calls for an East Boston resident.

Someone is getting called for jury duty...but it's no human.

A family is trying to figure out how their pet cat was summonsed for jury duty.

“I said, Sal, what’s this? You know, I don’t believe it I was shocked,” said Guy Esposito, Sal’s owner.

Sal’s owners, Guy and Anna Esposito, think they may know the source of the mix up: Sal really is a member of the family, so on the last Census form, Anna Esposito listed him under “pets”.

“I just wrote ‘Sal Esposito’, scratched out the ‘dog,’ and wrote, ‘cat,’” said Anna.

Anna filed for Sal’s disqualification of service. However, the jury commissioner was unmoved and denied the request.

Sal’s service date at Suffolk Superior Court is set for March 23, 2010. Anna said that if the issue isn’t cleared up by then, she will simply have to bring the cat to court.

Bold mine.

_________________
"Aaaah! Emotions are weird!" - Amdee
"... Mirrorshades prevent the forces of normalcy from realizing that one is crazed and possibly dangerous. They are the symbol of the sun-staring visionary, the biker, the rocker, the policeman, and similar outlaws." - Bruce Sterling, preface to Mirrorshades


Top
 Profile  
Reply with quote  
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sat Jan 22, 2011 12:23 pm 
Offline
User avatar

Joined: Fri Sep 25, 2009 8:22 pm
Posts: 5716
LOL

I wouldn't try to clear it up anymore than that. I'd bring the letter and the cat in, and have some fun.


Top
 Profile  
Reply with quote  
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sat Jan 22, 2011 2:01 pm 
Offline
the everlasting lurker

Joined: Thu Sep 03, 2009 6:10 am
Posts: 158
Location: In a maze of twisty little passages, all alike (aka metro Detroit)
Quote:
Sal’s service date at Suffolk Superior Court is set for March 23, 2010.

Would be interesting to see the follow-up on this - did they actually bring the cat to court? Did hilarity ensue?


Top
 Profile  
Reply with quote  
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sat Jan 22, 2011 2:35 pm 
Offline
User avatar

Joined: Wed Sep 02, 2009 7:59 pm
Posts: 9412
The cat won't be allowed into the building, because it's not a service animal. Sal will be fined for not appearing, and may even be found in contempt of court.

This is my prediction.

_________________
"Aaaah! Emotions are weird!" - Amdee
"... Mirrorshades prevent the forces of normalcy from realizing that one is crazed and possibly dangerous. They are the symbol of the sun-staring visionary, the biker, the rocker, the policeman, and similar outlaws." - Bruce Sterling, preface to Mirrorshades


Top
 Profile  
Reply with quote  
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sat Jan 22, 2011 4:06 pm 
Offline
Oberon's Playground
User avatar

Joined: Thu Sep 03, 2009 9:11 am
Posts: 9449
Location: Your Dreams
What type of pussy wouldn't show up for jury duty when called?

_________________
Well Ali Baba had them forty thieves, Scheherezade had a thousand tales
But master you in luck 'cause up your sleeves you got a brand of magic never fails...
...Mister Aladdin, sir, What will your pleasure be?
Let me take your order, Jot it down -You ain't never had a friend like me

█ ♣ █


Top
 Profile  
Reply with quote  
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sat Jan 22, 2011 6:57 pm 
Offline
Peanut Gallery
User avatar

Joined: Thu Nov 26, 2009 9:40 pm
Posts: 2289
Location: Bat Country
/rimshot

_________________
"...the line dividing good and evil cuts through the heart of every human being. And who is willing to destroy a piece of his own heart?" -Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn


Top
 Profile  
Reply with quote  
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Wed Jan 26, 2011 11:55 am 
Offline
User avatar

Joined: Fri Sep 25, 2009 6:41 pm
Posts: 1012
Don't you have to be at least 18 to serve on a jury? How old is the cat?

_________________
When he's underwater does he get wet? Or does the water get him instead?


Top
 Profile  
Reply with quote  
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Wed Jan 26, 2011 1:07 pm 
Offline
Deuce Master

Joined: Thu Sep 03, 2009 9:45 am
Posts: 3099
In cat years?

_________________
The Dude abides.


Top
 Profile  
Reply with quote  
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Wed Jan 26, 2011 9:21 pm 
Offline
User avatar

Joined: Fri Sep 25, 2009 6:41 pm
Posts: 1012
Heh. Bring in the vet records, and then complain that not only did they summon a cat, but it's an underage one. ;)

But I was up all night coughing. I'm at the point of tiredness where that thought is WAY too amusing.

_________________
When he's underwater does he get wet? Or does the water get him instead?


Top
 Profile  
Reply with quote  
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Wed Jan 26, 2011 9:46 pm 
Offline
Bull Moose
User avatar

Joined: Wed Sep 02, 2009 7:36 pm
Posts: 7507
Location: Last Western Stop of the Pony Express
On the gubbamint side of things, the Jury Commissioners get so many excuses every working day that any excuse requires some form of paperwork to be considered valid.

Do bring in the paperwork, the cat, and ask for an interpreter that understands cat fluently. Explain that the cat has not chosen to learn English and may have problems understanding the case. The cat may also be easily swayed by whichever side provides the best cat food.

I was thanked and excused (for a few months) from jury duty last week because I knew the defendant's lawyer. I laughed when the lawyers walked in.

_________________
The U. S. Constitution doesn't guarantee happiness, only the pursuit of it. You have to catch up with it yourself. B. Franklin

"A mind needs books like a sword needs a whetstone." -- Tyrion Lannister, A Game of Thrones


Top
 Profile  
Reply with quote  
 Post subject: Re:
PostPosted: Thu Jan 27, 2011 10:54 am 
Offline
User avatar

Joined: Fri Sep 25, 2009 8:22 pm
Posts: 5716
Micheal wrote:
and ask for an interpreter that understands cat fluently


LOL


Top
 Profile  
Reply with quote  
Display posts from previous:  Sort by  
Post new topic Reply to topic  [ 11 posts ] 

All times are UTC - 6 hours [ DST ]


Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 261 guests


You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot post attachments in this forum

Search for:
Jump to:  
Powered by phpBB® Forum Software © phpBB Group