The Glade 4.0

So, we have some neighbors across the street that are kinda sketchy.
A couple of weeks ago I had to call 911 because I saw some guy kick the door in, there was a lady screaming for help, and by the time I got over there, she was gone with the guy to the hospital and there was blood all over the floor and some 11 year old boy sitting on the couch sobbing in rage.
Apparently she had broke up with this guy the month before and he came over and bashed her head into the bookshelf...she had to have several stitches. I took the kid to my house and he stayed with me for about 4 or 5 hours while the police straightened it out.
I felt sorry for the lady and I felt sorry for the kid.
While he was at my house, the policeman pulled me aside and told me that those people have lots of problems and that kid is no stranger to this sort of thing (I'm new to the neighborhood) and for me to "tie everything down that you don't put up" as a word of caution.
The kid seems nice enough, but I did tell him very specifically to NOT download anything on the PS3 but free demos because we were on a budget. (Later that evening NF discovered the kid had downloaded something for $15 and if I recall correctly it was something I had specifically asked him not to download b/c of the rating.)
The lady came back from the hospital and I went over and introduced myself and found out they had kittens....long story short, I wound up with all 5 of the surviving kittens...they were having trouble feeding them enough I think. Anyway, I was outside one day (she kept the kittens and the mom on the porch 24/7) when I saw them walking home (they don't have a car) and heard her yelling...I walked over there to find that my favorite kitten, (the one the boy had kept for himself and had taken indoors to sleep with and play with), was pretty dead looking...apparently a bench had fallen over on the kitten and it had been on top of it while they were gone all afternoon. It was pretty suspicious because there was no way that bench fell over without some help. Anyway, she went inside and the kid just stood there looking at the kitten with no expression and then he reached down and grabbed one of the other kittens to replace it and went inside.
I bent down and realized the kitten was still alive and took it and all the rest of the kittens to my house. The injured kitten died in my arms a few hours later, we kept one of them, and the rest went to the shelter after an unsuccessful attempt to home them on facebook.
Now, here's the problem....this kid keeps coming over and wanting to play with my son. But I don't want him even on my property. I feel sorry for the boy, but I don't want him anywhere near my family and it makes me feel guilty because I can't really prove that he's done anything, I just feel like he's trouble and I don't want my son spending any time with him...of course, my son likes him, especially since he is the only boy his age in the neighborhood.
I've been across the street a couple of times and I just get that vibe that maybe she's on drugs but I don't know. I know she smokes and so does everyone that comes to visit them....she has a 2 year old nephew and they all smoke in the house around the kids...there is a 19 year old who is 4 months pregnant over there a lot who smokes as well.

So...I've told my son all this and told him I don't want him around this boy, but I haven't had the heart to actually tell the boy himself...everytime he knocks on the door I always tell him Taylor is busy eating dinner/cleaning his room/etc and when Taylor is at his dads house, I just say that.

Should I just keep doing that and hoping he gets the hint or should I say something or am I being a complete *** and depriving this kid of maybe the only opportunity he may have at all for a good environment and positive influence while he is over here?

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"Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." Jesus of Nazareth

PS---He is very polite and quiet and has apologized for the download and told me it was "an accident"...makes it hard to just ban this kid, especially when he has absolutely no positive role models in his life.

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"Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." Jesus of Nazareth

My first advice is, next time you see someone kick in the door of a neighboring house DO NOT go over there yourself.

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"Hysterical children shrieking about right-wing anything need to go sit in the corner and be quiet while the adults are talking."

Well, I called 911 first.
There really wasn't anyone else around and the kid was out in the yard yelling and screaming when the guy got there, so I knew there was a kid over there....it's just ingrained in me to want to take care of/protect/rescue everybody.

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"Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." Jesus of Nazareth

My advice would be to get that **** out of your head right now. Especially if you live in a place where this happens on a fairly regular basis as the police have lead you to believe. You are only inviting bad things into your home and into the lives of your family.

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Los Angeles Kings 2014 Stanley Cup Champions

"I love this **** team right here."
-Jonathan Quick

I know, but that is REALLY REALLY REALLY hard for me to accept...it goes against everything I stand for....that whole WWJD, and all the people who gave me chances and helped me when I was a kid...that whole pay it forward thing.
The idea of just shunning this kid and his family makes me feel incredibly guilty and sad.

That being said, the older I get the more I realize that everytime in my life I have gone out on a limb for someone, I have invited drama and pain and heartache into my home that affects both me and my family.

Sooooo....do I just keep politely dismissing the kid with a smile or what? And when my son is outside and this kid walks across the street, then what?

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"Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." Jesus of Nazareth

He's 11. He's old enough to hear the truth. Tell him you care for him, but there are certain behaviors he needs to correct if you are going to be friends.

Does your church have an active youth group? Maybe God can help straiten him out.

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I prefer to think of them as "Fighting evil in another dimension"

I sounds like you already know the answer to the question, but are just looking for re-assurance.

It's fine. Consider this me re-assuring you that (as far as I'm concerned) not getting involved is not only acceptable, but its best for you and your family.

:'( Yeah, that's kind of it. He came over last night and knocked on the door but luckily we were eating dinner so I had an excuse and he came over just a little bit ago but Tay had gone to his dad's last night so I had that excuse too. I just feel sad....pregnancy hormones have a lot to do with it I'm sure, but yes, I need the reassurance that its ok to be selfish I guess.
I just know that even if this kid tries to be on his best behavior that drama is going to follow him and with everything we've had going on in the past couple of years I know my own kiddo is vulnerable to outside influences and I don't want him around anyone like that until he has a stronger sense of self-confidence.
Thanks.

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"Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." Jesus of Nazareth

Sounds to me like you need to find a new neighborhood to live in.

As for what you're doing, it's about all that you can do. Telling the kid or his parents the truth about what's happening will only make things worse.

1) MOVE. However it must be done, do it. Make a plan. Make it happen. Even if it takes a long time to accomplish.

2) Protect your family and child(ren) first and foremost. If this means you need to turn away strangers/neighbors, then do it.

3) Never underestimate an abused kid's ability to harm/manipulate/etc. This kid is damaged goods. It's sad, but it is the world.

4) Stop worrying about WWJD, and worry about what LK should do. You can be a Christian and live that life without realizing you live in a sinful world filled with believer and non-believers alike. There are nice people and bad people that reside on this mudball. (and this is not to open a religion debate, as I was reared Christian)

Tell NF to help you with this issue. A man's presence helps when it comes to turning outsiders away from the door. Explain to your kid why you don't want him/her to play with this other kid in terms he can understand, and enforce it. Even if he/she doesn't understand, it's your duty to protect them first.

Never underestimate the ability of an 11 year old to steal/harm/manipulate. Especially one that has been reared in this environment. Not saying this kid is doing this, but it is certainly more than possible.

I cannot emphasize number 1 enough. I wish you the best with this ordeal, LK. You sound like good people. I just hope you realize the world isn't always good. It's part of the "suck" of this life

Didn't they just move into this neighborhood? I could swear I recall NF mentioning something recently.

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There's nothing wrong with the neighborhood. This is an isolated home that seems to have issues.

We just moved here, actually...just got out of a bad neighborhood and into a really good one.
There are two rental homes across the street, however, and one of them is housing these people.
I appreciate the advice and the suggestions...if NF is here when the kid comes to the door, I may get him to start answering instead of me.

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"Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." Jesus of Nazareth

Ah, good to know. I wasn't aware of the move, and recall you mentioning many times the challenges with various neighbors, etc.

The incident with the kitten is the most concerning to me. As the way you tell it, it seems like it could very well have been the kid who killed the kitten. That is very troubling.

I'd let him play with my son at my house. To deal with all that, and still be polite, friendly, and who seems like a generally nice kid - he'd probably be one hell of a kid if he found a good environment. Maybe he's coming over because he needs a break from all that crap.

Don't punish the kid because of his parents.

Or some kid with a broken home just lost his kitten to that broken home as well.

Don't say a word on why you won't let your son play with the other kid, not even to your son. Just keep as much distance between them that you can and hope that's enough. Bad behavior is contagious.

You gotta learn how to keep a low profile, LK.

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In time, this too shall pass.

That's understandable, but you need to understand your limits. To my knowledge, you don't have any significant training in combat, or handling violent individuals, both in a physical sense and in a legal sense. You're also exposing yourself to a lot of legal liability even if you did. Calling 911 was fine, but that is what it is there for. What you need to understand is that by calling 911 you did protect/rescue the kid and whoever else was in the house.

If that guy had a gun, what would you have done? You could have ended up as a hostage, seriously wounded, or dead. There's no telling what the intent of someone like that is, and you have a husband and children that need you. Not only that, but if something happens, now there's an additional person the police have to worry about.

I understand the WWJD thing, but part of the problem with the entire WWJD thing is that we are not Jesus. Jesus, the man, would have called 9-11. Jesus, the Son of God could have walked over there and simply commanded the intruder to stop, but you and I can't do that.

If you have the time and physical ability and want to go through police training, and become a part time (or, hell, a full time) cop, by all means, do so, and then feel free to go deal with dangerous individuals all you want. Without proper training, you're exposing yourself to really severe possible consequences, both from the situation itself, and from lawyers later on.

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"Hysterical children shrieking about right-wing anything need to go sit in the corner and be quiet while the adults are talking."

Heh, DE, I have considered going through the Academy, but I have way too short of a violent temper to be permitted to carry a gun and a badge. I'd probably wind up being one of those cops in the videos that we all argue about in Hellfire!
But yeah, I think too many fantasy books and TV shows have got me thinking I could be a hero...I really do need to come back down to earth and stop thinking I'd just whack the badguy on the head with a baseball bat or punch him in the face or something. Silly me!



See, I am SO not good at that...I've been working on it for years...its a very big shortcoming of mine actually.



This is along the lines of what I was thinking but the past couple times the boy has been over here I can't relax because I keep thinking what is he telling my son and/or influencing him on....what if he did kill that kitten? What if my son starts picking up on bad behaviors? What if he gets close to my son and starts stealing things or something when him and my son have a falling out?
But yes, I don't want the kid to be punished because of his environment...but I also understand that he's not an innocent angel either.....Hrmmm....

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"Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." Jesus of Nazareth

Bottom line:

It comes down to making a decision about what you want to do more, protect your own child from harm, or attempt to rescue someone else's child.

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Ezekiel 23:19-20 

It's a no-brainer when you put it like that, Ry.

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"Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." Jesus of Nazareth

Hmmm...you said they are renting the house across from you? There's a rental across the street from my house and we've seen 4 families move in and out of there since we moved here in October. Maybe you'll get lucky and they will leave soon.

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Los Angeles Kings 2014 Stanley Cup Champions

"I love this **** team right here."
-Jonathan Quick

That would be nice....or not. From what I understand, the people that lived there before these people got busted for having a meth lab in the house...apparently all the neighbors sat on their porches and watched the police bust in and arrest everyone.
You just never can tell with renters I guess.
On the plus side, the renters in the house next to them are quiet, clean, and drama free.

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"Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." Jesus of Nazareth

That sounds like the owners are not doing their due diligence when reviewing perspective tenants. That is a shame.

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Darksiege
Traveller, Calé, Whisperer
Lead me not into temptation; for I know a shortcut