The Glade 4.0

Not long enough to be getting engaged in most people's eyes i'm sure, but I guess I match the uhaul lesbian stereotype, but anyways we've been dating for 5 months.

5 months is barely long enough to find out what their favorite color is. I waited seven years!

5 months to find out what someone's favorite color? I knew that on a first date :p At this point I know her likes, dislikes, her habits, what she does and doesn't like, her goals in life, etc, I think that may be the difference between a lesbian relationship and a straight one though, women like to talk, a lot, with 2 women we talk to each other an insane amount, first dates for me with anyone I've been in a relationship with have been from 6 to 36 hours long (that wasn't a typo, and no sex wasn't involved, talking, sleep and more talking)

But asking if she'd sit on a dick to make the rent was not a question of sufficient priority somewhere in there?

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sure it was, and she said men were disgusting and she doesn't date them or want to have anything to do with them aside from being friends.

Heck, and I don't care if a women I date dates men, I've dated bisexual women, what I care about is when they are screwing men while dating me, and the fact that she's a lesbian and did it makes it worse, imo.

Me too, funny how you and I keep having similar relationship problems. Sigh.

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I was being facetious Sas. Point was, you can't really know someone after 5 months. Relationships change as time goes on and love develops through shared experiences. I don't care how much you talk, it's impossible to learn everything about a person that quickly. As an example, you didn't know that she would accept money for sex. You were ready to devote your life to that person.

My parents were married within about six months of meeting one another. They've been married for 38 years. Both sets of grandparents were together several years before getting married, and stayed together until they died.

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Buckle your pants or they might fall down.

^That

I don't think these ridiculously long time frames for moving in, getting engaged, getting married are necessarily right, hell historically people got married quickly and stayed together much longer, now it seems so many people are afraid of commitment, drag out engagements, etc and then get divorced quickly, i'm not afraid of commitment. And this issue could have just as easily come up 10 years from now, so I don't think long time together before any commitment is necessarily the answer.

If you have a proven track record of showing good judgement of character and having healthy relationships, then yes, I'd say that meeting someone and getting married within 6 months could make for a potential life-long relationship.
However, at some point along the way after dating several douchebags, and have been all geared up to commit to them....ya kinda have to stop and ask yourself where you are going wrong in the dating process....for me, it was because I was moving too fast and skipping fundamentals and ignoring red flags.
I don't disagree that there are people who can make a decision about someone's character and lifelong fidelity potential in a short period of time, but for most people, you're going to need a bit longer than a few months before deciding that someone is worthy of a lifetime commitment.

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"Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." Jesus of Nazareth

If you can't be with the one you love, love the one you're with.

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Buckle your pants or they might fall down.

People of previous generations were conditioned differently about marriage as well. Getting divorced was a shocking thing that rarely happened, and cheating on your spouse was frowned upon. Now you can get divorced easily, and there are websites that do nothing but help you to find people to cheat on your spouse. Different times.

Sass, you're not alone in this. I am (too) often guilty of the same thing, and have had to learn the hard way... hell I'm still learning.

Good luck with your search, but stop being too trusting of words, and go more with actions...

People in our current generation are conditioned to think of marriage like a Disney fairy tale. You meet someone, fall madly in love, and the love takes care of everything. Then, later on, when we learn of each other's faults, we start to believe that we're with the wrong person - that our soulmate is still out there.

In previous generations, the idea of marriage as hard work was more prevalent. You didn't get married because you loved someone, you loved your spouse because you were married to them.

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Buckle your pants or they might fall down.

If you're going to flame Nitefox, do it in hellfire.

(I kid, I kid.)

For the record, I got married fairly quickly after I started dating my husband, and we've been happily together for 16 years (since I was 22 years old, at that.) We'd known each other a year or so before that. He had dated an ex-roommate of mine.

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Well Ali Baba had them forty thieves, Scheherezade had a thousand tales
But master you in luck 'cause up your sleeves you got a brand of magic never fails...
...Mister Aladdin, sir, What will your pleasure be?
Let me take your order, Jot it down -You ain't never had a friend like me
█ ♣ █

Lenas: I'm quiet because I am less stupid when I keep my mouth closed

As for marriage......dated my wife for about 4 months, lived in sin for another 7 months, and got married = knowing her just over a year. Been married now coming up on 14 years.

I think too many people nowadays don't really know themselves well enough to know what they are looking for in a mate. Falling in love or being attracted to someone is easy. Finding someone you want to spend your life with, forever, is the hard part that people tend to skip in their decision making.

That, and too many people treat divorce like they would a parking ticket. No big deal. There is no "shame" in it anymore. They don't view it as a "failure". And even religious persons don't take their vows seriously enough. Different times, and different generational mindsets. People's words don't mean much anymore, whether in business, friendship, or marriage vows.

/end rambling......see, first sentence.

If this is what comes out of your mouth when you open it then you should STOP BEING SO QUIET. Very insightful.

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Indeed.

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"Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." Jesus of Nazareth

Yea! I made the sexy list.

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"None is more important, none more legitimate, than that of rendering the people safe as they are the
ultimate guardians of their own liberty."- Thomas Jefferson

"Yeah, I'm rehearsing my poker face. I don't handle stupid well. *sigh*" - Farsky

I'm not entirely sure why anyone is surprised by the changes to marriage as a societal institution. A consumer society views an economic good as disposable? Seems perfectly normal to me.

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Maybe it just seems surprising to the happily married folks.

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"Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." Jesus of Nazareth

It should not be surprising, especially not to anyone here. We've had enough threads on the institution of marriage that ...

a) No one should think its a uniquely Christian or otherwise religious institution ...

and

b) Everyone should know that historically speaking (which is to stay basically all of human history prior to about 1930) ... marriages were simply the purchase of a spouse in the majority of cases.

It's the history of marriage as a purely economic institution that's playing against whatever spiritual, emotional, or otherwise intangible value and good a person chooses to place in the institution. Unfortunately, marriage's reality has caught up with the overall consumerist conscience that governs most American social fabrics.

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Khross, are you happily married?

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"Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." Jesus of Nazareth

I'm not married, LadyKate. I sincerely doubt I shall ever be married again. You're confusing your and Nitefox's relationship with a contract you wrapped around that relationship. As it stands, the relationship doesn't need a piece of paper or a religious ceremony or the force of government behind it; the contract does.

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I was merely pointing out that the happily married folks seem a little more optimistic and a lot less cynical.
I'm not disillusioned, or confused, just happily married.

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"Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." Jesus of Nazareth