The Glade 4.0

Don't bother looking it up unless you want to. It is the parable of the prodigal son. I've always identified with the older brother. The one the father kicked in the teeth in his joy to welcome back the little *** who had made everyone else's life hell for so many years.

Around the holidays I truly understand the bitter resentment of the son who has always been there, who has honored and served his father, and who feels cast aside as his father welcomes back the little ******* who comes crawling back. I have two prodigal brothers. I also have a sister, she feels the same way I do about our mother's refusal to understand two of her children are and always will be leeches on her and society. She doesn't understand that those two men are still boys holding onto her apron strings, counting on her to bail them out of trouble. They will not grow up until she dies, because she is never going to make or let them.

Yes, there needs to be room for forgiveness. There also needs to be room for earning that forgiveness. Something cheaply given is rarely valued, and in this case, becomes assumed and meaningless.

Meh.

We'll get over it. We always do.

Every gorram year.

-Micheal, feeling less wise and more lonely lately.

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The U. S. Constitution doesn't guarantee happiness, only the pursuit of it. You have to catch up with it yourself. B. Franklin

"A mind needs books like a sword needs a whetstone." -- Tyrion Lannister, A Game of Thrones

While I sympathize with your family situation, I must point out that you do not understand the parable very well, if you think the father kicked the older son in the teeth. However, hang in there.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=14epxvU8XIA

Luke 15:11-32 (New International Version)

The Parable of the Lost Son

11 Jesus continued: "There was a man who had two sons.
12 The younger one said to his father, 'Father, give me my share of the estate.' So he divided his property between them.
13 "Not long after that, the younger son got together all he had, set off for a distant country and there squandered his wealth in wild living.
14 After he had spent everything, there was a severe famine in that whole country, and he began to be in need.
15 So he went and hired himself out to a citizen of that country, who sent him to his fields to feed pigs.
16 He longed to fill his stomach with the pods that the pigs were eating, but no one gave him anything.
17 "When he came to his senses, he said, 'How many of my father's hired men have food to spare, and here I am starving to death!
18 I will set out and go back to my father and say to him: Father, I have sinned against heaven and against you.
19 I am no longer worthy to be called your son; make me like one of your hired men.'
20 So he got up and went to his father. But while he was still a long way off, his father saw him and was filled with compassion for him; he ran to his son, threw his arms around him and kissed him.
21 "The son said to him, 'Father, I have sinned against heaven and against you. I am no longer worthy to be called your son.[a]'
22 "But the father said to his servants, 'Quick! Bring the best robe and put it on him. Put a ring on his finger and sandals on his feet.
23 Bring the fattened calf and kill it. Let's have a feast and celebrate.
24 For this son of mine was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found.' So they began to celebrate.
25 "Meanwhile, the older son was in the field. When he came near the house, he heard music and dancing.
26 So he called one of the servants and asked him what was going on.
27 'Your brother has come,' he replied, 'and your father has killed the fattened calf because he has him back safe and sound.'
28 "The older brother became angry and refused to go in. So his father went out and pleaded with him.
29 But he answered his father, 'Look! All these years I've been slaving for you and never disobeyed your orders. Yet you never gave me even a young goat so I could celebrate with my friends.
30 But when this son of yours who has squandered your property with prostitutes comes home, you kill the fattened calf for him!'
31" 'My son,' the father said, 'you are always with me, and everything I have is yours.
32 But we had to celebrate and be glad, because this brother of yours was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found.' "

I understand the father's joy that his younger son had come home to him, had grown to recognize his foolishness. However, I also recognize that the older son feels slighted, feels taken for granted, feels less loved by his father. Verse 31 is dismissive to the older son, and is effectively chiding the older son for his anger and his jealousy. I have never felt that one phrase resolved anything for the older son, instead I have always felt it drove the wedge in deeper between him and his brother. As with the parables of the Lost Coin and the Lost Sheep, the classic trilogy of celebrating the return of a sinner to the fold, this parable gives the message that faithfulness and long service and devotion are worthless. Go, make as big a mess of your and everyone else's lives as you can. Just come back before it is too late.

Where is the joy, the reward, in being a good person, of resisting temptation, of walking the straight and narrow, when the lost sinner returning has to do nothing more than return to reap the full benefits of the life of the faithful? It always seemed a little too easy for the prodigal son.

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The U. S. Constitution doesn't guarantee happiness, only the pursuit of it. You have to catch up with it yourself. B. Franklin

"A mind needs books like a sword needs a whetstone." -- Tyrion Lannister, A Game of Thrones

I understand your viewpoint, and don't really want to make this into this sort of debate. After all, the issue is your family situation. However, I would say that, in one way or another, we are all the younger son, and the older son was exhibiting a "holier than thou" attitude. A proper attitude would have been joy that his younger brother finally came to his senses. Relating that to what you've said, it may be that your siblings have not done so. I believe that had the younger son not come to his senses, the father would have behaved differently: his son was dead, and is alive again. He was lost, and is found. Reason to celebrate, imo, but doesn't sound like that's the situation you face with your siblings.

Good point Bery. No, they haven't, but my mother always acts like they have or are close to it, then gets disappointed when its the same old stuff. Hope springs eternal.

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The U. S. Constitution doesn't guarantee happiness, only the pursuit of it. You have to catch up with it yourself. B. Franklin

"A mind needs books like a sword needs a whetstone." -- Tyrion Lannister, A Game of Thrones

I understand. I hope you'll forgive me for this turn on your rant, and I hope you don't feel I'm insensitive to your situation. We can hope your siblings see the light. You just never know.

At this point I can only pray. They have been playing the con for so long I don't think they realize they are doing it to her. Self respect doesn't seem to be something they need.

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The U. S. Constitution doesn't guarantee happiness, only the pursuit of it. You have to catch up with it yourself. B. Franklin

"A mind needs books like a sword needs a whetstone." -- Tyrion Lannister, A Game of Thrones

Sometimes it's the only thing a mother has.

You've got my prayers this holiday season Micheal, for strength and peace in this and any other issues that you face.

Peace

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"Dress cops up as soldiers, give them military equipment, train them in military tactics, tell them they’re fighting a ‘war,’ and the consequences are predictable." —Radley Balko

You are always so good with advice and words of wisdom, Micheal, I wish I could return the favor now when it seems like you could really use some comforting words or an "aha!" bit of sage advice yourself.
I'm sorry I don't have the gift of words...just a virtual hug, *hug!!*, and a pray sent your way that God will give you peace and understanding about this and grant you patience while you are waiting for an answer...
You are a wonderful man, and if you are even half the son that you are a friend, then I know that your mother is blessed to have you.
Happy Thanksgiving!

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"Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." Jesus of Nazareth

It's a good parable, regardless of one's religious beliefs (or lack thereof). True love will show forgiveness, and joy over someone's reformation, over the pettiness of "they don't deserve that."

I understand your frustration, Micheal, but I believe living well to start with is its own reward. Love is looking for nothing more from the one who went astray than their redemption, and will rejoice if they find it. Any resentment or lingering bad feelings toward someone who is truly remorseful and wants to make ammends, are caused by our own pride and sense of entitlement. This is doubly sinful for the Christian, as to you guys, nobody is entitled to a damn thing--the wages of sin is death, and everyone from the most praisable saint to the most despicable villain are all sinners, and therefore all equally deserving of death. It is only through the undeserved kindness of your Lord that you find any sort of forgiveness. How much needs to be forgiven is just a matter of degree, but you are all equal before your Lord in that way.

For me to even be able to preach like this, I've heard too many of dad's sermons, but I've always loved that parable. I think as humans we're all flawed enough that we're all going to put ourselves in that older brother's place to some degree in such a scenario, but I think the man Jesus showed a keen understanding of love and human relationships in these parables; we're flawed beings and to make any type of relationship work, forgiveness has to be something we understand and strive to provide.

That said, the prodigal took action and turned his life around and changed his ways. If your brothers are still the same old jerks they always were, well, they haven't yet truly asked for forgiveness, so ... this parable doesn't apply to you!

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Well Ali Baba had them forty thieves, Scheherezade had a thousand tales
But master you in luck 'cause up your sleeves you got a brand of magic never fails...
...Mister Aladdin, sir, What will your pleasure be?
Let me take your order, Jot it down -You ain't never had a friend like me
█ ♣ █

I find that humans as a whole wants to forgive and think the best of another person. This is especially prominent when it comes to family. We want to help the weak and through their journey, we feel as if somehow we’ve achieved something in helping them become strong.

The problem comes when there are those who wants to take advantage of this trait and use it for their own personal gain when they need it.

What I’ve found is that even if you can not forgive your brother for what he has done and the advantage he has taken from your parents. Then try to find the compassion to understand your parents for all the things they have done for you, without a comparison on what they did for your brother. If they find happiness and hope in your brother’s return then be happy for them, be there for them when they are hurt and support them in their endeavours.

As parents get older, their emotions tend to get more child like. Sometimes to love is to let go, allow them to be hurt, but let them know you’re there for them unconditionally.

I absolutely love the father's response to the older son in that parable. It totally reaffirms that the relationship between the older son and the father is still great and that nothing has changed with regard to his inheritance. The older son was caught up in his anger with his brother that he failed to realize his own relationship was rock solid.

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The Dude abides.

I don't think the parable is really about the older son, or for that matter, about the younger son in that way.

Rather the father is God and the younger son is the blatant sinner who cares nothing for God's wishes while the older son is the believer who tries not to displease God and has faith.

The message of the parable is to not resent the fact that all sinners who repent, whether after a lifetime of rampant disobedience or after a lifetime of doing their best, weak as it maybe, will receive the same forgiveness.

I think its message to earthly parents and children et al is secondary, and must be used with caution. Unlike God, humans have limited resources, and the father does not merely forgive and welcome the unruly son, but spends a good sum welcoming him. God, of course, has no end to His ability to do so, but we do. Note that the older son is not chided for his resentment over the expendiature so much as he is admonsihed to be glad his brother is recovered.

I think the message insofar as it relates to earthly families is simply "be glad when a family member returns from a destructive life".

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"Hysterical children shrieking about right-wing anything need to go sit in the corner and be quiet while the adults are talking."

What DE said.

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It feels like all the people who want limited government really just want government limited to Republicans.
---The Daily Show

Micheal:

I'm sorry for your loneliness. I love you, bro. I hope you some day find a place in yor heart for forgivness, if you haven't already; which knowing you over the years, I suspect you already have, and you are venting at this point more than seeking solutions or some sort of absolution here.

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Ezekiel 23:19-20 

Micheal,

Sending a virtual hug. I empathize with your loneliness. This time of year tends to be bad for that.

Your siblings do not fit the parable, because they have not acknowledged their errors and worked to correct them. They are still using people (your mother primarily.)

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Memento Vivere

I have local knowledge.
That sandbar was not there yesterday!