The Glade 4.0

I feel horrible. foamy says it is in my head but I cry a lot. Feel worthless and feel like I can not parent my own child unless I have help. Sean is difficult and Cecilia is a high needs baby. I don't know what to do to feel better. I feel stressed and want to pull myself out of this funk but don't know how. I just want to be happy again. I want Cecilia to be happy. I want it the way it was. My mom and dad help me a lot but I feel guilty putting pressure on them to help me. Why can't I continue to be the strong person that I have always been and be able to handle this? I can deal with 100 middle school kids and not bat an eyelash, but this is overwhelming me and I need to get out of this funk.

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"None is more important, none more legitimate, than that of rendering the people safe as they are the
ultimate guardians of their own liberty."- Thomas Jefferson

"Yeah, I'm rehearsing my poker face. I don't handle stupid well. *sigh*" - Farsky

Have you communicated any of this to your OB/GYN?

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Oonagh, sounds like you have some post partum depression . It's a very real thing. Tell your OB, if you haven't already. A friend of mine had a very colicky baby and she expressed some of the exact same things you are saying. She felt like she couldn't do anything right, felt sad and down 95% of the time. Her OB put her on a low dose anti depressant and that helped her out tremendously. She was on it for about 6 months then got off. It helped her over the hard time. Not to say you will need that, just what worked for my friend.

In the mean time, you need some time for you. Have you taken any alone time? Maybe going out with some friends for a bit or even just for a mani/pedi...all by yourself. Just to get away for a bit.

Just remember...you are a wonderful mother! You have an awesome family! Keep perspective and rant when you need to feel better. It helps!

Take care, I will say some prayers that things smooth out and the baby gets a little less needy.

Don't feel guilty asking for help. Having a baby and a toddler (and a husband )) is hard work!

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Dream as if you'll live forever...
...Live as if you'll die tomorrow

Vivere Senza Rimpianti

What Kirra said!!

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"Said I never had much use for one, never said I didn't know how to use one!"~ Matthew Quigley

"nothing like a little meow in bed at night" ~ Bruskey

"I gotta float my stick same as you" Hondo Lane

"Fill your hand you son of a *****!"

yup. Classic Post partum depression sounds like.

As with other cases of depression, the use of antidepressants should be monitored by those close to you.

Motivation is one of the first things to go, on the positive side, that makes it harder to get up the motivation to suicide. (i'm not saying you're there, just be aware) -- Motivation returns first on antidepressants.

Thats why there are warnings that antidepressants can cause suicidal thoughts. The return to normalcy comes later.

All good advice. Let me add an insider tip that while others here will disagree with it, and Foamy will swear it's unnecessary, is very good advice, and will save you lots of stress.

I have found that most people, when overwhelmed and stressed, will lash out from time to time. You won't likely do this to your kids, you'll more than likely lash out at Foamy. This is ok - he can take it. BUT recognize you are doing this and apologize and/or be sweet to him later. He'll be happy to help you with your stress, but if he becomes the focus of your stress he won't be able to.

Men have very short attention spans, so an outburst followed by some lovin' will only be remembered as lovin'.

I recently went through the second child issue with my wife (8 months old now). It was pretty bad for a while. Once she went back to work, BOOM.

Remember that you need Foamy more than usual. If he's a punching bag, he can't help, even if he wants to.

@ Kirra, Jasmy and Arathain

Geez, you think you know who your friends are.

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This must be Thursday. I could never get the hang of Thursdays.

What Kirra said!

Oonagh, you and Foamy are both wonderful people! You just need a little help to get through a tough time. 2 little kids are a lot of work. Talk to your doctor; they will be able to help.

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"Hysterical children shrieking about right-wing anything need to go sit in the corner and be quiet while the adults are talking."

You are a very smart woman to say something, Oonagh. So many women suffer in silence to the detriment of themselves, their children, and their spouse. The advice you have gotten here is good. Talk to your doctor ASAP. God bless.

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Ezekiel 23:19-20 

This. /hugs

After my daughter was born my wife had post partum so bad she collapsed physically and mentally. She was off work for several months and the depression was so bad she was prescribed extra strength pills that made her emotionally a zombie for almost a year. It was a tough period.

See your doctor now. Don't wait around thinking it is going to get better. It won't until you do something about it.

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The U. S. Constitution doesn't guarantee happiness, only the pursuit of it. You have to catch up with it yourself. B. Franklin

"A mind needs books like a sword needs a whetstone." -- Tyrion Lannister, A Game of Thrones

Best of luck getting through the rough time - I have nothing else to add to the fine advice up page.

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"...but there exists also in the human heart a depraved taste for equality, which impels the weak to attempt to lower the powerful to their own level and reduces men to prefer equality in slavery to inequality with freedom." - De Tocqueville

Hey, we're doing the 2nd kid thing now too. Eva is 6 weeks old and Ethan is 4 years. Ethan demands a lot of attention and Eva eats like... non stop. Ethan does go to school 4 days a week though and on Tuesdays either my parents or my wifes comes over to help her while I'm at work. Are you home with both all day?

My big thing is to make sure YOU are ok. If you're not ok you cant help the kids. Kinda like how they tell you to put the oxygen mask on yourself first on an airplane.

I'm sure you'll be fine though, you obviously care a great deal and I've no doubt you'll figure things out.

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“Strong people are harder to kill than weak people, and more useful in general”. - Mark Rippetoe

Things are better so far. Cecilia has calmed down a little bit. Her patterns are emerging and we are picking up on her cues more. She seems to be sleeping longer through the nights, waking up only once closer to wakeup time for us.

Oonagh is well and I'm keeping a close eye on her.

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This must be Thursday. I could never get the hang of Thursdays.

Yay good news progress.

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"...but there exists also in the human heart a depraved taste for equality, which impels the weak to attempt to lower the powerful to their own level and reduces men to prefer equality in slavery to inequality with freedom." - De Tocqueville

Hello, Elmostan!

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This must be Thursday. I could never get the hang of Thursdays.

Happy times now for much celebrate.

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"...but there exists also in the human heart a depraved taste for equality, which impels the weak to attempt to lower the powerful to their own level and reduces men to prefer equality in slavery to inequality with freedom." - De Tocqueville

I'm so happy to hear things are getting better . Some days, things are so overwhelming.


. Cecelia is so pretty

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Dream as if you'll live forever...
...Live as if you'll die tomorrow

Vivere Senza Rimpianti