The Glade 4.0

Taamar, have I ever told you that I love you?

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Ron Paul 2012

After wandering around Cambridge for a week, sometimes for 7 hours at a time, I noticed some interesting changes.

-I can now make spontaneous small talk with strangers when the situation seems right.

-I no longer approach a girl unless I think she will appreciate me talking to her, and if I really have something to say.

-I'm better at cutting conversations short before saying something really dumb (like asking for a number when I doubt she would give it). I enjoy good conversations. I don't enjoy making an *** out of myself.

-I still suck at remembering names, but I'm starting to understand why I should work on this.

-I make eye contact with everyone, perhaps too much.

-People are generally friendlier with me than they used to be. Maybe my facial expressions improved a little? I'm interested in why this is so.

-I think I went to a book store too much and the employees keep looking at me. I need to avoid it for a while.

-This is fantastic exercise because I walk around so much.

Yesterday I went to a girl's apartment around lunchtime and then we went out. That was fun. I met her on the subway. We're only friends, mostly because she's black. Today I have a lunch date with another girl who I met in a book store. Fun! I can't wait to see how things will progress 6 months from now. Hopefully I will not be hospitalized or imprisoned. Going out this much affects me a lot.

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"The map is not the territory."

people respond better when you're not forcing yourself out there. Girls are very sensitive to another's feelings even when you're not actively portraying it. This is also how we know when our kids get into things they shouldn't have.

I love adventure, I'm not really forcing anything.

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"The map is not the territory."

This is the Glade, that's what we do here.

My lunch date went badly. It was noon and I was in a bad mood, and made poor conversation. She was really cute but our personalities weren't compatible.

Today I was telling my psychiatrist how my personality isn't powerful enough to be compatible with all other personalities. So I couldn't sleep around even if I wanted to, because my personality isn't powerful enough. It kinda sucks. I think I just need more public exposure, conversation practice, and emotional hardening.

I met another girl on the subway who I like. She is 25 and I like how mature she is. She's cute too. We plan on hanging out, although these plans can easily fall apart. I actually didn't get her number on the subway. We ran into eachother again randomly and started talking, and I told her I was in a bad mood from my date. Then we met up with her friend and drank coffee. Before she left, I gave her my number and she actually texted me back and forth, said I was cute [Editor's note: I'm still not saying I'm super good looking] , etc. It's sort of cool how I can find a new girl possibility every couple of days... I want it to become 5 possible girls a day or so. But that would take a long time to reach that level of social mastery. I don't enjoy approaching girl after girl. I need breaks between them, because I can't handle the emotional stress yet. I don't enjoy invading people's personal space yet either. That's something else I need to work on.

Also I also talked to 2 girls in a bar and made great conversation for an hour, but they both had boyfriends. Then I left my scarf in the bar and had to return later to get it.

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"The map is not the territory."

You're kind of surreal.

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"...the line dividing good and evil cuts through the heart of every human being. And who is willing to destroy a piece of his own heart?" -Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn

That's an interesting comment. I don't try to be any way.

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"The map is not the territory."

I went out again tonight. It was alright. Got 2 numbers. Ok results. Had ok fun. Gave money to a homeless guy, which I have mixed feelings about. He tried to give me food a different night and this made me like him. He's a destitute college student.

Anyways, I am getting bored of normal conversation. In fact, I'm terrible at congruency. I'm just not a congruent person. I can't handle talking about normal things.

I think I need to start introducing more incongruency when talking to strangers. Like interrupting their conversation about women's studies to say "I think you should dye your hair green". Just to be an idiot for my own amusement. I've just been going along with normal conversation too much, and it's getting boring. The conversation always dies and I don't get results. I was texting my mom about how I suck at normal conversation, and she was giving me advice, but I don't think it's worth it. I'd rather just be incongruent. Back when I was manic before I started taking medication, I started being incongruent in this way, and it was lots of fun. I need to try it even when I'm not in a psychotic state.

I'm quite incongruent on the Glade as well. I think it's my natural personality. I need to act more like this in real life for better results and more fun. I'm unable to participate in most discussions here without being an idiot. So I usually don't bother. That's why I make my own threads. Likewise in real life, I need to start steering all conversation towards my odd liking. This requires confidence that I am slowly building.

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"The map is not the territory."

You could start with not using "incongruent" to mean "incoherent".

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"Hysterical children shrieking about right-wing anything need to go sit in the corner and be quiet while the adults are talking."

That word you're using, I don't think it means what you think it means.

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"...the line dividing good and evil cuts through the heart of every human being. And who is willing to destroy a piece of his own heart?" -Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn

Lex, while I would try to talk other folks your age out of it, I really think you need to start smoking weed. You need to mellow a bit.

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Raell Kromwell

LOL. I need tons of drugs and medication. But I'm not a druggie. So I will just remain crazy. The substance abuse rate for what I have is 47%, but I will be in the 53%.

This adventuring is going somewhere, eventually. My confidence grows every time. Eventually it will translate into solid results, and I will have more fun with it.

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"The map is not the territory."

To me, after reading this thread, you haven't changed at all.

I agree that I haven't changed much. I'm less delusional and lower energy than before I was on meds, and my moods are more stable.

I socialize for fun. I treat it as a sport, but I'm not great at it yet. There's lots of subtle things I don't understand, and there's countless bold actions that I am not confident enough to take yet, or not emotionally ready. I'm poor at making conversation. At least I go out every day to get better. Hopefully I will remain a super immature person while having tons of girls to play around with, or maybe just one girl. That would be fun. I'm still going out every day even if I get a girlfriend.

Your life is either a comedy or a tragedy. I choose mine to be comedy. Most people are too serious about everything.

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"The map is not the territory."

careful ... add 20 years or so to this behavior ....

Warning & Disclaimer:

Video may be disturb the lads of the glade. Posted for entertainment purposes only.
[youtube]o4triOQok7A[/youtube]

"Happiness is like a cat, If you try to coax it or call it, it will avoid you; it will never come. But if you pay not attention to it and go about your business, you'll find it rubbing against your legs and jumping into your lap."
-- William Bennett

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“The person who tries to live alone will not succeed as a human being. His heart withers if it does not answer another heart. His mind shrinks away if he hears only the echoes of his own thoughts and finds no other inspiration.” - Pearl S. Buck

I don't venture into clubs yet. I don't have my bookstore and coffee shop game down well enough. I just started going to bars. Once I have these down, I'll focus more on clubs. Goal-oriented socializing takes 3 or 4 years to get good at, like any sport. I'm still at a beginner level. I can realistically get about one solid phone number (solid meaning the girl wants to talk to me) per night, which is a good start I guess. I'm making definite progress. I'm very process-oriented right now, in that I just try to have fun. I'm not goal-oriented. It's like I'm shooting basketballs into the hoop and missing a lot, but not feeling bad about it.

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"The map is not the territory."

I just asked a girl I met last night to dinner, and she said she would, but she went home for the weekend. Such BS! Girls are mean to me.

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"The map is not the territory."

It happens. Lose her number and move to the next interest.

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The Dude abides.

I think she might still be interested. We talked on Facebook.

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"The map is not the territory."

So let her bridge the gap she created.

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The Dude abides.