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PostPosted: Thu Sep 12, 2013 9:41 am 
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I wish I could remember who I stole that from. I think it was either an old Letterman top 10 list or something from the Onion.

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PostPosted: Thu Sep 12, 2013 11:54 pm 
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Amy Schumer

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It's a weird age. They're like, 'Amy, I'm pregnant.' And I still don't know whether to be like, 'Congratulations,' or 'Do you need a ride?'

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PostPosted: Sat Sep 14, 2013 8:23 pm 
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For posterity


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PostPosted: Tue Sep 17, 2013 7:44 am 
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Corolinth wrote:
Just because Elmo is a psychotic gun toting, federal judge murdering muppet holding a martini glass that looks like a pistol doesn't mean he's wrong.

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PostPosted: Sun Oct 13, 2013 11:14 am 
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If a bag of dicks isn't funny, I don't want to live on this planet anymore.

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PostPosted: Wed Oct 16, 2013 2:46 pm 
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Talya wrote:
Short of compressing your unskilled labor under thousands of pounds of pressure and heat, you can't turn your unskilled labor into something like crude oil.

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PostPosted: Thu Oct 24, 2013 4:24 pm 
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Rynar wrote:
Sure, I'd pretend to care that they're unterrible on the harp to see some incest.

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PostPosted: Tue Nov 19, 2013 2:53 pm 
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Grrr... Eat your oatmeal!!
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RangerDave wrote:
True, but I wonder: will a wonky wank wank Willy Wonka's wang?

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Lead me not into temptation; for I know a shortcut


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PostPosted: Thu Jan 02, 2014 4:45 pm 
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Mus wrote:
Go Pack Go!

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PostPosted: Thu Jan 02, 2014 4:54 pm 
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Go Niners!

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PostPosted: Fri Apr 18, 2014 1:59 pm 
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Diamondeye wrote:
Amanar wrote:
Diamondeye wrote:
This is a common misconception that simply coming up with any conceivable explanation is reasonable. No, "maybe you are shooting a movie" is not a reasonable explanation in the absence of, you know, a movie actually being shot. You can take a photo of one anywhere, you don't need to bring it to a parade, and the absence of a camera would tend to disprove that anyhow. You don't sterilize things for science experiments in a kitchen cooker in the middle of a parade site, and putting paper in a cooker in the first place seems like a very hazardous way of sterilizing it.

It isn't just a matter of the cooker having confetti, it's also the time, place and circumstances he had it in. This "but there could be other explanations!" thinking is what teenagers try to use when they get in trouble at school, thinking that any possibility, no matter how outlandish, means that they're being "oppressed" if someone doesn't let them get away with what they were really doing.

You're misconstruing what I said. We agree on everything here. The other explanations were theoretical, where someone else would actually be shooting a movie like you said. None of these excuses would fly in the middle of a parade, especially not in this particular one. This guy has no good excuse and it's obvious his intent was for it to be taken as a hoax device and scare people. So.. yeah, we agree.


None of those are situations that actually obtained.

Amanar wrote:
...

Yup, that's what theoretical means.


Diamondeye wrote:
Amanar wrote:
...

Yup, that's what theoretical means.


So... that was all irrelevant?

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PostPosted: Mon Apr 21, 2014 6:50 am 
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Talya wrote:
Flaccid penis length as a means of temperature governance is less notable, and mostly irrelevant due to advances in clothing.

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PostPosted: Mon Apr 21, 2014 11:15 am 
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Arathain Kelvar wrote:
Gawd, Peeps are the worst thing to happen to humanity.

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PostPosted: Tue Apr 29, 2014 5:40 pm 
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Rynar wrote:
Hopwin wrote:
Corolinth wrote:
I like how nobody's bothered to consider that owning a team in a sport wildly popular among black people, where 90% of the players are black, might cause problems for you if you hate niggers.

It's only a problem if you get caught.

So you're saying that it's exactly the same as banging fat chicks?

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PostPosted: Fri May 16, 2014 7:07 am 
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Raell wrote:
6. Fuel and power. Solar, wind turbines, anything to keep the lights on. Take human comforts away and people get shitty with each other, we need to avoid explosions within Wayne Mannor. Because yea, that's right, I'm the God Damned Batman.

...

8. Water and ways to keep it clean of contamination. No one wants to die of Dysentary.

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PostPosted: Thu Oct 02, 2014 11:09 am 
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Talya wrote:
If you have natural rights and a quarter, you still can't find a **** phone booth anymore.

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PostPosted: Mon Aug 24, 2015 3:45 pm 
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I have three that are quoted on my Facebook:

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you'd **** me, he'd shoot me.
with you, I'd at least feel the love. ~ Taskiss

We're a kindergarten science fair project I think we got beat by the ant farm... - ArafysAragon

All in All aren't we just all a couple of light bulbs in need of a good screw?
~Oonagh

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PostPosted: Fri May 06, 2016 7:09 am 
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Taly wrote:
Vlad wrote:
Nightmare Before Christmas


You're not wrong. This is a great alternate name for "The Old Testament."

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