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Talya
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PostPosted: Wed Oct 16, 2013 6:00 pm 
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Rice > fries. Even as a standalone snack.

(Proper rice is made by cooking it in chicken broth and a bit of butter, which makes it quite tasty on its own. None of this "boil in water" nonsense.)

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Lenas
PostPosted: Wed Oct 16, 2013 6:05 pm 
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The ingredient proportions I gave were for normal burritos. California burrito is more like 80% meat, 10% fries, 10% cheese.

Crunchy fries >>>> mushy rice.
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Talya
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PostPosted: Wed Oct 16, 2013 6:11 pm 
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If rice is mushy, you cooked it too long.

Since we're on the subject, quick lesson:

There's no such thing as a "Burrito" in Spanish. The word is an Anglicization based on "burro" (donkey). Evidently someone selling tacos must have carried their goods on a burro. In Spanish, a burrito is a taco. There's no distinction between them.

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Diamondeye
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PostPosted: Wed Oct 16, 2013 6:38 pm 
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I cannot believe burritos with rice were criticized by someone that thinks fried belong in them.. really? actual Mexicans put fries in them?

They have some crazy **** up Mexicali way.

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Lenas
PostPosted: Wed Oct 16, 2013 6:40 pm 
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The fries are only in a specialized, region-specific burrito. My point stands with every other burrito - rice doesn't belong.
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Crimsonsun
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PostPosted: Wed Oct 16, 2013 6:48 pm 
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You know, the really nice thing about burritos is you can put whatever the hell you want in them. I think once I even saw a desert burrito (ice cream, cinnamon tortilla, chocolate sauce etc)

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Numbuk
PostPosted: Wed Oct 16, 2013 7:25 pm 
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This is my go-to burrito. Especially good with tomatillo house dressing.

When I describe the size of these things to those from outside of the area, they think I am exaggerating. And when they see it, their next thought is that the quality can't equal it's size.

I teach people to learn not to doubt me twice.

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Crimsonsun
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PostPosted: Wed Oct 16, 2013 11:16 pm 
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There's a mexican restaurant near here which offers a grande burrito, and the damned thing is huge. I CAN eat it all at once, say at lunch, but I wont need to eat anything else for the remainder of the day... and if you ask, they'll cover it with the mole sauce instead of the red sauce :neko:

probably the best mexican food you can get in new england ive found, and this is coming from someone who grew up in SoCal for 4 years

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Müs
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PostPosted: Thu Oct 17, 2013 12:44 am 
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Freebirds was the best thing about being in Simi Valley. Oh, and The Hat.

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Darkroland
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PostPosted: Thu Oct 17, 2013 10:02 am 
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Müs wrote:
Freebirds was the best thing about being in Simi Valley. Oh, and The Hat.


Mmm, love me some freebirds. Throw a bunch of stuff in there and cover it in roasted garlic and hot sauce. Mmmmmmmmm....
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Hopwin
PostPosted: Thu Oct 17, 2013 10:09 am 
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Numbuk wrote:
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Based on that picture it is fair to state that you eat burritos that are the size of Los Angeles?

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Elmarnieh
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PostPosted: Thu Oct 17, 2013 11:25 am 
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Thats the average size burrito that I find at decent places.

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Numbuk
PostPosted: Thu Oct 17, 2013 1:15 pm 
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Hopwin wrote:
Based on that picture it is fair to state that you eat burritos that are the size of Los Angeles?


Correct. Chicago and Atlanta won't cut it.

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Aethien
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Oki-Dog's pastrami burrito is about the size of Mexico, Japan and Los Angeles. As food critic Jonathan Gold says,

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And the best of the Oki creations, a Chinese-American-Jewish-Mexican thing made by Japanese cooks for a mostly African-American clientele, is the pastrami burrito, a foil-wrapped grease bomb the size and weight of a building brick, bursting with fried pastrami, sauteed cabbage, onions and peppers, mustard and pickles, and a healthy dose of Oki chili, enough food to feed a medium-size family for a week.


Pictures on Yelp are making me hungry. I may have to make a pilgrimage soon.

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Rorinthas
PostPosted: Thu Oct 17, 2013 6:16 pm 
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Numbuk wrote:
Hopwin wrote:
Based on that picture it is fair to state that you eat burritos that are the size of Los Angeles?


Correct. Chicago and Atlanta won't cut it.


Im ashamed to admit that it took me a couple of reads to get this joke.

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Müs
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PostPosted: Thu Oct 17, 2013 6:50 pm 
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I made Chimichangas for dinner.

They are fabulous.

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Micheal
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PostPosted: Thu Oct 17, 2013 9:37 pm 
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I haven't had one of the fries filler burritos, it just sounds wrong to me. Beans and rice are filler. Fries are a side I don't order anyway. Horrible thing to do to a potato.

I eat very little fast food these days. Better for me.

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Jasmy
PostPosted: Fri Oct 18, 2013 2:29 am 
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I'm sorry, but the Mexican Deli down the street has never had fries in their burritos! Lenas I don't know where you are coming from, but fries?? in burritos?? Not happening here. We can add what we want from rice to sour cream to cheese to salsa. My favorite is the chile verde burrito with rice, cheese, and sour cream...it's lunch and dinner for me, since it's the size of Numbuk's burritos. :D

(They are definitely authentic Mexican)

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Midgen
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PostPosted: Fri Oct 18, 2013 2:37 am 
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Burritos are fine with whatever yummy stuff people want to put in them.

I honestly don't think I've ever met one I would refuse to eat (even Taco Bell :D)
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Darkroland
PostPosted: Fri Oct 18, 2013 8:29 am 
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I'm with Midgen. Burritos with fries, beans, rice, lettuce, pico, salsa, hot sauce, steak, chicken, carnitas, barbacoa, sour cream, roasted garlic, roasted corn, queso, blanco, monterey jack, it's all good.
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Foamy
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PostPosted: Fri Oct 18, 2013 8:35 am 
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CURSE YOU ALL! Now I want a burrito.

Oonagh and I are recently back on WeightWatchers (I am down 8 lbs in 3 weeks), so a burrito of this magnitude would not play well in the WW lifestyle.

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Vladimirr
PostPosted: Fri Oct 18, 2013 11:19 am 
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Darkroland wrote:
Burritos with fries, beans, rice, lettuce, pico, salsa, hot sauce, steak, chicken, carnitas, barbacoa, sour cream, roasted garlic, roasted corn, queso, blanco, monterey jack, it's all good.


Ooh. I'll take two of that one.

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Arathain Kelvar
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PostPosted: Fri Oct 18, 2013 11:37 am 
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That guy wasn't an idiot. He was a troll.
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Diamondeye
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PostPosted: Fri Oct 18, 2013 1:31 pm 
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Arathain Kelvar wrote:
That guy wasn't an idiot. He was a troll.


I am intrigued by your concept of a burrito troll, and wish to subscribe to your newsletter.

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Rynar
PostPosted: Mon Oct 21, 2013 9:11 pm 
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FarSky wrote:
I received a hearty chuckle, so I figured I'd share.

https://medium.com/comedy-corner/fd08c0babb57

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Dear Guy Who Just Made My Burrito:

Have you ever been to earth?

On earth, we use the word “burrito” to describe a tortilla filled with things you eat. Pretty simple stuff, and I’m surprised you at least got that part right. My burrito was, in fact, filled with food. In this, you and I agree and are friends. But this is also where my lifelong hatred begins for you and anyone else whose brain has been repeatedly scrubbed with the same mixture of bleach and Pop Rocks as yours has. Because that should have killed you, but left you around long enough to do what you did to me today. Let me explain:

You’re an idiot.

Let me further explain:

Burritos are eaten from one end to the other. So that means when you assemble a burrito with **** ZONES of ingredients going that direction, you create a disgusting experience for the burrito’s end user. When you make a burrito, you should put the ingredients in layers lengthwise. That way, every bite has AT LEAST A **** CHANCE of getting at least two types of ingredients, and there is little chance of becoming almost hopelessly trapped in a goddamned cilantro cavern.

Have you ever eaten one of the things you make all **** day? You should try one. They are pretty good WHEN YOU ARE NOT WILLING YOURSELF THROUGH THE **** EMPIRE OF SOUR CREAM ONLY TO END UP IN LETTUCE COUNTRY.

When you eat a burrito, you don’t stand it up and bite down on it lengthwise like a **** Rancor. Humans can’t usually dislocate their jaws, and I’m not a **** pelican. But you must think that’s how it’s done, since that would be THE ONLY **** WAY to take a bite of your crapstrosity and have it taste like a burrito.

And guess what else, player? You probably can’t guess anything, because I’m pretty sure you’re just a mop with a hat on it that fell over and spilled some **** into a tortilla, but just in case, here’s what:

Humans also don’t eat burritos like **** corn on the cob. Like a **** typewriter from one end to the other a little at a time and then DING next line. But today I wish I had tried that. Because at least THEN I would be able to eat some rice, then beans, then be all like HEY BEANS I’LL BE RIGHT BACK JUST GOING OVER HERE TO THE GUACAMOLE FOR A SECOND.

Nope.

My experience was more like HEY BEANS IT’S JUST GOING TO BE YOU AND I FOR A MINUTE UNTIL I CAN **** EXCAVATE THE RICE FROM BENEATH YOU BUT BY THEN YOU WILL BE A FADING MEMORY OH HEY I WAS WRONG I’M IN THE **** CHEESEOSPHERE NOW RICE MUST BE NEXT I HOPE IT’S NOT ANOTHER **** SALSA POCKET.

You built this thing like a **** pack of LifeSavers.

And don’t even **** think I’m about to open this **** up and re-engineer your nonsense 90 degrees. I ALREADY PUT A HOLE IN IT WITH MY **** MOUTH. YEAH. THAT’S HOW I DISCOVERED YOU **** SUCK AT LOOKING AT THINGS. I AM NOT GOING TO DO **** TORTILLA ORIGAMI TO GET THIS **** BACK TOGETHER, ONLY TO END UP WITH A BURRITO THAT’S BEEN SHOT IN THE GUT AND IS BLEEDING YOUR INEPTITUDE.

What’s that? I should ask you to mix it up first next time? IS THIS JAMBA JUICE? I DON’T WANT TO DRINK MY **** BURRITO THROUGH A BENDY STRAW, AND I DON’T WANT A PILE OF BURRITO SOUP IN A FLOUR CAN.

I just want a burrito.

In conclusion:

You’re the worst thing that has ever happened to the universe, you owe everyone everywhere an apology for this burritobomination, and I hope your babies look like monkeys.

UPDATE FOR EVERYONE WHO SAID “JUST EAT IT WITH A FORK”:

A **** fork?

I DIDN’T ORDER THE **** COBBURRITO SALAD.

If anyone ever handed me a burrito with a fork, THEY WOULD BE WEARING A BRAND NEW BURRITO HAT FROM MY FALL COLLECTION TEN SECONDS LATER.

That’s like buying a car and having them hand you a **** wrench with the keys. Like YEAH WE KNOW THIS ****’S GOING TO EXPLODE AND BE SPREAD ACROSS EIGHT LANES AS SOON AS YOU HIT THE GAS, BUT ****, WE GAVE YOU A WRENCH, SO BE COOL.

Jesus already gave me two burrito forks. One at the end of each arm. They’re called **** HANDS.

A fork. My god. I haven’t cried since I was six, but I’m **** sobbing now.

People eat burritos with forks?

God is sorry he made us.

Offered up by the guy who doesn't believe in tipping for service.

I'll offer you a tid-bit: the person that wrote this isn't funny. They read like a **** who talks down to the people making their food, being generally abusive and degrading.

I think it's reasonable to assume that the folks in foodservice were mistreated here, because it takes a ton of effort, multiple stations of assembly, and line approval to construct a burrito like the one this well deserving **** received.

But, by at means continue to act indignant when anyone dares to impugn the the barely upright, mostly useless, fully fungible IT shlep.

Fin.

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19 Yet she became more and more promiscuous as she recalled the days of her youth, when she was a prostitute in Egypt. 20 There she lusted after her lovers, whose genitals were like those of donkeys and whose emission was like that of horses.

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