Arathain Kelvar wrote:
Aizle wrote:
Personally, anti-bully campaigns need to be focused on detecting who is being bullied (teachers/parents) and then coaching those who are being bullied into how to face the bully.
The reality is that the world is full of bullies, K-12 is when you should learn how to deal with them, not adulthood. It's essentially the same with fighting. It's far healthier for kids to figure out that fighting sucks at 12 than at 21.
Society likes to pretend that bullies are cowards who do not fight, and if you stand up to them they will back down. It's not really the case. If you stand up to them, odds are - you will get into a fight. This is not necessarily a problem, but an institutional program that can be viewed as basically encouraging confrontation - I see many potential problems. Encouraged victim gets pounded - lawsuit. Bully gets pounded - lawsuit. Something more serious happens, etc. While it may be a good idea, the bottom line is it's only a matter of time before we get a suboptimal result, and everything gets reversed.
Best hope for your program is "Dad", and a school system that does not punish those who stand up for themselves.
The reason for this is that society is half right. Bullies generally are cowards. The part they're wrong about is them backing down if you stand up to them. They don't do that. They pick their targets carefully; ones they know they can beat if there is a fight.
The other part is the trope of the "class bully" picking on all the other kids. Bullies tend to travel in groups, and they don't pick on the whole class. They tend to pick on a few select people no one else likes either. The remainder of the group, while they might not instigate anything, tends to tacitly back up the bully then because A) they're glad it's someone else on the receiving end, B) They really don't like the kid(s) getting picked on that much anyhow and/or C) they think being the bully isn't actually such a bad deal. You get to be the "coolest" kid in the class, at the cost of some occasional preaching from adults.
It's very very hard for adults to effectively combat this. One of the worst things adults do, though, is that they tend to talk about how other adults "got bullied as a kid" for whatever reason. Even assuming the other adult is doing something unacceptable, blaming it on him "Getting bullied as a kid",
as if that bullying was his own fault is a terrible message to send to kids.