The Glade 4.0

I'd have no luck at all, seriously, incoming relationship rant numver...I've lost count at this point, bleh.

So in attempt to trying to get over the woman I've been in love with I decided to go out to speed dating by myself at a club the day before valentine's day, speed dating was a bust but I stayed to dance afterwards and met a woman on the dance floor who was exactly my type and we ended up sitting at the bar talking for 2 hours, we seemed to hit it off, no awkward conversation or anything and we exchanged contacts at the end of the night.

So after waiting a few days and being my usual shy self I said this is stupid and asked her out and apparently she broke up with her ex in november and isn't over her and is still waiting and hoping they get back together and thus she's not looking for a relationship /sigh.

So now I don't know if I should even just continue talking to her cause I see this turning into the same situation as the woman i'm in love with now, where I become friends with her and keep hoping something does happen and it doesn't and it becomes increasingly difficult for me to be around her.

Why can't I seem to get a break just once when it comes to relationships? It's always **** like this

Life isn't fair Sassandra.

I just spent some time dating an old friend, some good conversation, nice meals and a movie. She let me know she wasn't interested in taking it any further, and I accepted that. Now she's wondering why I'm not still pursuing a relationship. Mixed signals, but I've given up on the relationships where I just pursue, never catch, and go through a whole bunch of money in the endless pursuit.

If there is no achievable goal, stay friends and move on. Some people just want to be chased, like the attention, but in the end just aren't worth the bother. If the only reason they spend time with you is so they can frustrate you, are they really worth pursuing?

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The U. S. Constitution doesn't guarantee happiness, only the pursuit of it. You have to catch up with it yourself. B. Franklin

"A mind needs books like a sword needs a whetstone." -- Tyrion Lannister, A Game of Thrones

That's the thing though, I don't know if there's an achievable goal or not, she may get over her ex and be ready for a relationship, or she may continue holding out for her, or she may get back together with her, who knows.

Truer words were never spoken.

Sasandra it seems odd that you feel this strongly about someone you just met. Either way you should walk away from this one, you met once, asked her out and she said no. There is no emotional bond or deep-connection there. Go find someone who is ready to be with you without all (or at least so much) of the baggage as this one.

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Write the number down, stick it somewhere you can find it in six months. If you haven't found somebody by then, call her up and see if she's over her ex. Forget her 'till then.

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"Aaaah! Emotions are weird!" - Amdee
"... Mirrorshades prevent the forces of normalcy from realizing that one is crazed and possibly dangerous. They are the symbol of the sun-staring visionary, the biker, the rocker, the policeman, and similar outlaws." - Bruce Sterling, preface to Mirrorshades

What Kaffis said.

I totally sympathize. I used to find this "I'm not over so-and-so" crap incredibly obnoxious.

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"Hysterical children shrieking about right-wing anything need to go sit in the corner and be quiet while the adults are talking."

I'd go with what Kaffis said. It was a fleeting connection with someone for 2 hours, not necessarily your next love.

Put the number aside and keep up the dating. Don't be shy.

Nothing in a couple of months, give her a call...Who knows.

Good luck.

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This must be Thursday. I could never get the hang of Thursdays.

I don't actually feel that strongly about her atm, right now it's just she's my type (which is arguably a hard find right there) and thus i'm interested in her, it's more i'm worried that it would turn out like that other woman i'm still in love with where it builds from just an interest in into stronger feelings.

If finding someone who's ready to be with me without the emotional baggage was just that easy I would, but seeing as my last date was over two years it's not exactly like I have that luxury.

Really not trying to be mean here, but based on your prior posts, isn't this statement true of you as well?

My suggestion is to take a page from the Book of Motorcycling. The destination (relationship) isn't as important as the journey (enjoying your time with people). If you enjoy the journey, you'll likely arrive at the destination that you want. I think you're focusing too much on getting right to marriage and happily ever after. Just enjoy the ride and the company of various people that you date, etc. If it works out great, if it doesn't then it wasn't meant to be. But in either case, you've enjoyed your time with them and probably learned some things about love, life and yourself.

More or less I suppose that's true, though even though i'm still very much in love with that woman I've accepted it will never happen and I think i'm not going to stop thinking about her till I have someone else to care about and be with, so I am looking for a relationship, even if turns out to not be a serious one.

And i'm not focused on getting right to marriage, right now I just want a real relationship with someone, which is something I've yet to even have, and the loneliness of not having had that is eating away at me :/

Like Aizle said, it's all about the process. Reaching a destination never makes you as happy as you think it will.

From Wikipedia's article on Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance:



You can treat finding a relationship in the same manner.

My high-school biology teacher turned me onto that, along with this.
Almost 30 years ago, wow.

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"Men, it has been well said, think in herds; it will be seen that they go mad in herds, while they only recover their senses slowly, and one by one." Charles Mackay

Sasandra. You are hot and cool. Are you sure you are looking in the right place?
Forgive a guy for fantasizing?

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"Men, it has been well said, think in herds; it will be seen that they go mad in herds, while they only recover their senses slowly, and one by one." Charles Mackay