The Glade 4.0

I am trying to buy a new home. I am still living in my old home with my Ex-wife. part of the settlement agreement is that she will pay me the money for my share of our existing home when she refinances. I need the money to pay for the down payment of my new home.

I found a new home to buy, secured financing, etc. meanwhile my ex-wife dragged her feet on the refinancing of our existing house. Now my contract to buy the new home is up because the bank will not issue final approval on my loan so I can close until I'm off the original mortgage and have my down payment. (reasonable)

My ex-wife decided to apply for a loan from an internet bank that takes 90 days to close, so the loan is now not due to close her loan until NOVEMBER. My contract to buy the new house technically expired a few days ago, and the seller is giving me until the end of the month to close.

I've already shelled out 2000$ for home inspections for termites, appraisals, etc, plus the earnest payment.

So I'm going to lose the house, STILL be living with my ex-wife, lose the several thousand dollars worth of inspections....

I have NO ideas where to go from here....

I'd say divorce, but you apparently already handled that earlier...

Honestly, you need to force her to do the refinance ASAP and not look for a house until that's complete and you have the money in hand. Anything else is going to run the risk of the same ****.

Just don't let it turn into The War of the Roses.

the seller is pressuring me for a date, I dont dare tell him it will now be November--he'll just walk now.

Be honest with the seller.

I can't fathom trying to dick the seller around because you allowed your wife to dick you around.

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"Dress cops up as soldiers, give them military equipment, train them in military tactics, tell them they’re fighting a ‘war,’ and the consequences are predictable." —Radley Balko

the seller has been trying to play me on several occasions. (he just (in the last 5 days) got a lein on the house by his exwife--though he can pay it off, I should pay him the additional money to clear it off)

Dude. Its a total buyer's market right now. If your seller's being a cawk... I don't understand that.

Theoretically, you should get your earnest money back since you're not *at fault* for the deal falling through.

What is your realtor saying about all this?

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Holy shitsnacks!

FSBO.

and I still would be out the money for the
termite inspection
home inspection
home appraisal
loan application fee
all totaling over 2000$

/twitch

Sorry.

When I worked in Escrow, I always wondered why people would choose to not use a trusted realtor. I mean, would you represent yourself in court? Do your own dentistry? A house is probably the largest single purchase most people make in their lifetime. The peace of mind that a trusted agent brings to the table helps prevent just this sort of thing.

Just saying YMMV though.

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Holy shitsnacks!

These are things you chose to do, and were prudent to do; they would still be your costs if you decided not to buy the house for any other reason.


That's no excuse for your actions, but why deal with the hassle?

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"Dress cops up as soldiers, give them military equipment, train them in military tactics, tell them they’re fighting a ‘war,’ and the consequences are predictable." —Radley Balko

uh actually no, all were required by teh bank.

Whatever dude, you chose to get a loan, and the rest followed.

If you hadn't gotten the inspections you'd have been a moron; good thing the bank required it.

The bottom line is that you got played by your ex, next time get your **** together before you try to broker a deal worth more money than you have in your pocket.

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"Dress cops up as soldiers, give them military equipment, train them in military tactics, tell them they’re fighting a ‘war,’ and the consequences are predictable." —Radley Balko

In all honestly, it sounds like it's time to cut your losses at this point. Be honest with the seller on the timing, if he walks he walks.

If this falls through, then don't go looking until you have the refinance handled with your Ex so you have cash in pocket and no more hurdles.

$2k is a lot of money, but a drop in the bucket in the grand scheme of things. Don't make a dumb decisions over that small amount of money.

Make your ex pay out what she caused you to lose

THere. Win!

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Holy shitsnacks!

How long ago was the settlement? If it's been long enough that it's reasonable to have expected her to be done by now (instead of starting in August, as the 90 day window meaning November implies) and she was clearly dragging her feet to even start, I'm with Müs here -- small claims court or something with your Ex.

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"Aaaah! Emotions are weird!" - Amdee
"... Mirrorshades prevent the forces of normalcy from realizing that one is crazed and possibly dangerous. They are the symbol of the sun-staring visionary, the biker, the rocker, the policeman, and similar outlaws." - Bruce Sterling, preface to Mirrorshades

Hmmm. Isn't Riov living in the same house with ex and kid? I would say cut your losses...it sucks, but sometimes you gotta make some sacrifices to keep the peace. (Not for the ex's sake, but the kid.)
Vindi and Aizle had good advice.

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"Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." Jesus of Nazareth

Easy, dude. Homes might get screwed out of a couple thousand. We're all on the same team here.

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The Dude abides.

Out here the termite inspection would be the seller's cost, everything else would be the buyer's cost. Most of us who have bought homes consider it money well spent. I've known folks who have walked away after a home inspection by someone who knew what they were doing came out with effectively a "Run Away Now! Do not buy this money sink!" report.

The bit about paying his wife off, big warning sign, the man is not honest. Does he have someone else waiting in line? Even if he does, there are lots of other houses for sale right now. Turn it around and tell him he needs to repaint the house and give you a warranty on the roof and appliances.

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The U. S. Constitution doesn't guarantee happiness, only the pursuit of it. You have to catch up with it yourself. B. Franklin

"A mind needs books like a sword needs a whetstone." -- Tyrion Lannister, A Game of Thrones

I got him to put everything back 'on the table' but he still wants an extra 5000$ for the house closing late. (2 months, wth. I could MAYBE see him asking me to cover the mortgage for that time but he STILL would get all that additional equity. ) rediculous.

I'd just walk on his ***. Buyer's market.

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“The duty of a patriot is to protect his country from its government.” - Thomas Paine

No ****. Suck it up and walk.

you have no idea how strong my motivation to get a place of my own is though.

Yes, we can understand the motivation, but does it have to be that place?

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The U. S. Constitution doesn't guarantee happiness, only the pursuit of it. You have to catch up with it yourself. B. Franklin

"A mind needs books like a sword needs a whetstone." -- Tyrion Lannister, A Game of Thrones

I may not be able to directly relate but I think I understand.

Nevertheless, unless you make enough money each year that $5,000 is chump change, it isn't worth throwing away simply because some guy thinks it's a sellers market. It isn't. You hold the cards with this guy, even if your ex-wife is dicking you around.

Walk and let him think about how he just threw away the sale. You may end up able to pay even less if he can't find a buyer, and you've already paid for the pre-sale work.

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“The duty of a patriot is to protect his country from its government.” - Thomas Paine

less the place, more the time factor. If I DID somehow come up with the additional cash I could be in the house in 11 days.

How many weeks in a hotel (at a weekly rate, obviously) can you live for $5,000?

Lots. It isn't worth agreeing to this chode's terms, IMO.

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“The duty of a patriot is to protect his country from its government.” - Thomas Paine